New BF...fireworks...haven't talked in 2 days... help

[roxy79]

I have been dating a new man for about a month. We had an instant connection and the relationship has been soring! We both are very excited about what we have found and are surprised at the feelings we have developed.

 

Few problems... his exgirlfriend, whom he has a 1yr child with is heck bent on ruining our relationship. There has been drama since the beginning but it has now escalated. Both he and I have been doing very good about not "listening" to the trash talking going on but for some reason this week, my man has been very distant. I know it's because of the stress his ex is placing on him but I'm confused as to what to do.

 

He came over Christmas and we had a lovely evening together, talked alot about "us" cause he could tell I was bothered by this transition in him. We got a lot of our feelings out but his main point was that he just needs to take care of the other cr*p in his life so that he can only focus on me. He asked me to patient and to give it some time.

 

My question/problem: He sent me a text in the AM after Christmas saying goodmorning sweetheart and that is the last I've heard from him. Should I worry? I haven't tried to get ahold of him only because I slightly wonder if he's overstressed, if he's trying to take care of things, if he's detaching himself...

What do you all think?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

How long has he been split from this ex?

[roxy79]

Well he only "stayed" with his ex as long as did perviously was because of the kid. He "officially" split up with her around the same time we started dating. He made it clear though him breaking up with his ex had no effect on him dating me. It kinda just happened that way.

[HeartGoesOn]

If it's only been a month since he split with his "ex", and has been with you in only that amount of time, ( a month), I would say he's no where near ready to start a new relationship.

 

I would be careful, and guard my heart before getting too close to him. He hasn't been on his own for any amount of time to see what he really wants, and there is a chance that he could go back to her.

 

You really don't know him well enough to judge what he'll do, but I would proceed with caution.

 

Take care...

[striker_dude]

You are a rebound, he's still very affected by his ex, thereforee it naturally follows that he has feelings for her.

 

This is not going to end well for you.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Hmm.. Don't want to jump to conclusions but yes, I went thru something similar with a guy (minus a child involved) and from what you described, I saw the same pattern.

He had a psychotic ex always meddling and hell bent on getting him away from me. She even faked suicide and all that. Would call crying every day.

Usually, him not calling for such long periods is not a good sign. When we where dating, I "played it cool and stayed calm" thinking things where ok and maybe he was just busy. I feel like such a fool now for doing that now.

 

I agree that at the moment he is very much affected by his ex. Like that guy I dated, the relationship may have been over but that doesn't mean that he stopped thinking about her right away. They split when you both began dating (or roughly around that time). Chances are when you both where on the first date, he still had some thoughts of her running thru his mind.

 

I agree with the poster who said to please guard your heart. From my experience, rebounds are one of the hardest things to understand and move on from. Alot of times the other person just bails and leaves you with alot of unresolved questions.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

This is guy doesn't want to be alone. He has known you for 5 minutes and is rushing headlong into this "relationship" declaring all kinds of feelings for you. That's typical of rebounds...the not wanting to be without a partner so they latch on to the very next person who crosses their path. He literally went from his ex's arms to your arms without a break in between. No wonder the ex is angry...she probably feels betrayed...he can father a child with her and bolt just like that into the arms of another woman. Put yourself in her shoes...how would you like if you developed a relationship with this guy, have a child with him and then suddenly he drops you like a bad habit and is declaring love for another woman. Wouldn't you feel crushed and devastated? Wouldn't you feel like you need to do whatever to get this man to own up to his responsbilities. She is probably in panic mode right now because if he is that flighty and can jump from her to another woman without batting an eyelash, how reliable will he be in taking care of the child he fathered with her. She is left holding the bag as a single parent while he goes off having his fun with another woman. Is this woman crazy...well....we don't know her so we can't say...but what she is doing is a normal panic reaction to someone who had her world turned upside down watching her man walk out on her leaving her with the child while he has playtime with a new woman. What he did to her he could ver well do to you. This man is not a good bet for a relationship.