I don't feel much like caring anymore

[heatspreader]

As everyday slips away I find myself spending more time at home playing video games and gaining weight. All of my dreams and hopes are out of reach. I can't help but wonder what motivation do I have to wake up tomorrow.

[Daligal83]

What are your dreams and hopes that you feel are out of reach?

[heatspreader]

What are your dreams and hopes that you feel are out of reach?

 

To get a job I love, or simply be successful at something, to find love, and have a more successful social life.

[Daligal83]

I think those are all attainable goals. The problem is they won't come easy or without effort.

 

Finding a job you love can be hard. I'm still working on that one myself. I was passionate about my career in grad school, but once I got into it, it actually made me miserable. So in the meantime, I switched to a job that I don't love but doesn't make me upset. And it's just going to be a trial and error process to find something I love. I think the trick is to find a job that's OK for the moment and not make work your entire world. Go out and explore other hobbies and that will help you find something you may be passionate about. It also helps you deal with having a job you're not in love with because it's not the only thing in your life. It's just what pays the bills.

 

Finding love is kind of the same. It's trial and error and you have to get yourself out there to figure it out. You said you sit home and play video games. You can't meet people in the comfort of your own home (unless you're doing online dating, and even then you have to go out and meet them). I know it's hard to get out there, but it's the only way it's going to happen. So if you explore some of your hobbies, like I mentioned before, maybe you'll meet someone special who share that same interest. Or maybe you'll make some new friends who might know someone that's right for you.

 

That leads into the social life. You can meet new friends through so many means. Sign up for a class, join a gym, go to a meetup event. I'm repeating myself, but the key is just to get out there. Start volunteering somewhere. If you're religious, start attending services and see what organizations they have there.

 

I know it's easier said than done, but if you want these things, the change has to come from within you. Waiting around for it to happen won't work.

[heatspreader]

It's just that I do go out and try but when I find myself not succeeding and going where I want to I get even more discouraged and start wasting more time at home. I have found that life isn't easy but I am finding it hard to find the strength and courage to make a change. I have embarrassed myself one too many times and that is stopping me from ever seeing myself positively in that aspect of my life.

[nutbrownhare]

It sounds as though you're suffering from depression. Does that ring true for you?

[heatspreader]

It sounds as though you're suffering from depression. Does that ring true for you?

 

Yes, I have been depressed for a few years.

[nutbrownhare]

If you don't feel confident enough to go out socialising, do you get any exercise? Are you aware of the benefits of it? (I don't want to sound patronising!)

[lifeiscash]

It is simply one thing that is hurting you, "Your lack of confidence". If you had confidence you would do things to improve yourself rather than mellow around and accept mediocricy. You would be out looking for new jobs because you are confident you have something to offer. You would be out looking for women because you are confident that you have something to offer them also. You would look for new friends in new situations, easy and difficult, that will allow you to gain confidence and use it in a new group setting.

 

No one wants to be friends with a guy who is not confident. They will shy away from you, slowly and surely. Now that we determined what your problem is, how do we go about finding a solution?

 

You need to look deep inside of you and grab it out of you. You have to believe that you deserve something more in life and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goals to lead a successful confident life. Confidence is not born overnight. It is a process and a struggle and sometimes even a torment to attain, but with each successful attempt you have taken a step closer to LEARNING confidence instead of sitting around playing video games.

 

First you need to change your way of thinking to a positive light. No one, and I mean no one, wants to be around a negative person. All they do is bring you down. When you are confident you don't need to be around mediocre people with downer personalities. Because everyone and every job wants one thing. Your confidence and positive spirit that you can offer them, the stronger energy. Once you attempt to become more of a dominant non recessive being and see the world as an attempt to improve rather a burden to success, you will gain insight and develop a sense of confidence that very little people actually have.

 

My advice is to respect yourself, respect your decisons, and look at situations as an area of improvement rather than a setback. You have to be proactive, willing to get out of your everyday "normal" routine and place yourself in new situations with unlimited outcomes. It's frightning and first and it takes patience but over time the new situations become more normal and your confidence will build, such walking up to several women and introducing yourself to get over the fear of approach. Or even simply looking at women and holding eye contact until she looks away.

 

All your goals can be achieved. You need to develop your " SKILLS " and notice your strengths and improve your weaknesses and then you will start to develop your own power.

[nutbrownhare]

Problem is, I've never met anyone who was lifted out of depression by thinking positive thoughts. However, the point about exercise is that it improves depth of breathing and thereforee energises the body (what goes on in the body affects the mind as much as the other way round); improves general health and a sense of well-being (by releasing endorphins which have a positive impact on mood) and offers the opportunity to lose weight, along with all the health benefits attached to this.

 

For many people, this can be the starting point for building confidence. If you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, you're not going to feel comfortable anywhere.

[heatspreader]

If you don't feel confident enough to go out socialising, do you get any exercise? Are you aware of the benefits of it? (I don't want to sound patronising!)

 

I don't exercise much, but I intend to start taking walks. It was 60 degrees outside and I didn't take the opportunity to start today I just couldn't find the motivation.

[lifeiscash]

Problem is, I've never met anyone who was lifted out of depression by thinking positive thoughts. However, the point about exercise is that it improves depth of breathing and thereforee energises the body (what goes on in the body affects the mind as much as the other way round); improves general health and a sense of well-being (by releasing endorphins which have a positive impact on mood) and offers the opportunity to lose weight, along with all the health benefits attached to this.

 

For many people, this can be the starting point for building confidence. If you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, you're not going to feel comfortable anywhere.

 

 

I agree with nutbrownhare.

 

Exercise increases hemoglobin in your bloodstream, its a molecule in your blood cells that carry Oxygen throughout your blood stream to all of your muscle tissues. This will impact your energy levels in every way possible. It will also impact your behavior because your brain is muscle tissue as well. In other words, "You feel more Alive"!!!

 

Exercise increases endorphins like stated by nutbrownhare. Endorphines are homones released from your brain from strenous activity. They affect your pain threshold and are related to your mood. They are closely associated with "morphine or valium" and give a sense of pleasure.

 

Lastly, exercise increases testosterone levels. Testosterone is another hormone, a steroid, that helps with increased energy, increased production of red blood cells (That will carry more oxygen due to increased hemoglobin), and help with limbido.

 

All 3 reasons why we should exercise