Let's do something different in 2009

[Diggitydave]

OK i just wanted to start this thread for myself and many others who know that this year in 2009 things need to change.

 

I hope everyone after me can list different things they are going to do to motivate themselves to make some changes in 09

 

First for me, i know i am going to stay away from cigarettes. I have already quit now for 5 weeks and it's been rough but im doing it. I always have a tendency to pick up when things get crazy but this year i am going to make sure i stay away for good.

 

Secondly, I am going to work on controlling my fear of other peoples thoughts of me. I have spent too much of my life trying to make sure everyone approves of me and doesn't say evil things. This has cost me a lot of time and energy in my life and the obsession with others thoughts of me has almost killed me. This is my biggest obstacle. It is my biggest fear and causes me the most distress, it's harder than smoking or whatever.

 

So those are the two things that i am going to focus on mainly. The only other things that i am going to work on is continuing to pay off my debt. I have a long ways to go but i need to chip away at it.

 

Just listing this stuff has helped me and motivated me. I hope someone else can post some stuff too.

[Snoopy24]

2009, I want to quit smoking, stop eating all meat, go back to school, lose 10 pounds, and stop procrastinating with everything.

[LW4E]

New Years resolutions for me often don't pan out properly... but for 2009, it'll be mainly the same thing it was for the better pert of 2008, and that's simply trying to be a better person, a better friend and like Diggitydave, just try not to be so concerned with what people think of me, although that hasn't been much of a problem lately... my self-esteem is higher now than its been... ever.

 

So that's that for me.

[Diggitydave]

start with one at a time. all at once is too hard

[Pinkiepie]

This is going to be a new beginning for me this year. I am going to work through all my issues and hopefully for the first time in my life will have a clear look at myself and my future. Quitting smoking and losing 20 pounds will come later lol.

[Perfection]

1. drop my walls and go back to saying EXACTLY what i feel. no more hiding.

2. spend more time practicing tae kwon do because i am slacking.

3. find my old self. the cheerful, happy, life of the party type.

4. ME FIRST.

5. stay away from selfish mofos.

 

more to come.

[homeagain]

i love that everyone in this thread is taking control of themselves in a positive way. that's a great way to start the new year and it is very inspiring!

 

this made me laugh, of everything on the lists:

 

>>5. stay away from selfish mofos.

 

that needs to be on MY list, too, although i never thought of it quite like that. thanks for the inspiration/laugh.

[gracerules2008]

I don't really believe in new years resolutions because I always fail to keep them. So I'd rather focus on what needs to be corrected about me whether the new year is around the corner or not.

 

I need to work on being more humble. I'm full of self righteousness. I don't like that about myself. I think self righteousness is the biggest thing I hate about myself because I see how it destroys relationships with other people.

 

Nothing destroys a relationship more than an attitude of self righteousness. Once I take self righteousness out of the equation then all of the other problems are minor and the world is a much better place.

 

Basically I want to try to get along with everybody regardless of how they will respond to me. I can't control nor predict how other people will react.

 

I want to work on being more forgiving to those who have wronged me or will wrong me in the future. I want to work on seeing the best in other people. I pray that God will continue to help me see people through His eyes. I believe everyone is perfect in the eyes of God. It's very easy for me to lose sight of these truths.

 

Work harder at my job. I work in customer service. Lately my mindset has been all about making money. I've temporarily lost sight of what my goals should be in the workplace. That's got to change. My mindset should be primarily about helping people. The money will come naturally as a by-product of having the right motivation. I think the right motivation is to be genuinely concerned about all my customers needs instead of thinking about the bucks.

 

Also not to be in such a hurry to get into a relationship. Listen to my heart more often. If my heart is telling me that I'm not ready for a relationship then I'm not ready period.

 

I shouldn't try to force something that's not really there yet. I made that mistake earlier this year. It may be good to force myself to do certain things in life that I don't want to do but not when it comes to dating & romantic relationships. I'm not going to try to get ahead of God because that just causes a lot of unnecessary pain & heartache.

 

Spend more time reading my bible and meditating on the gospel of grace & peace of Jesus Christ. It's easy to lose sight of His unconditional love for me. I spent so many years in legalism and organized religion.

 

I think it messed up my mind. So it's hard for me to get my mind's eye away from the image of an angry god who has his arms crossed just waiting for me to make a mistake just so he would have an excuse to kill me and throw me in hell at the end of time.

 

Not that he doesn't have a right to do that but in my heart I don't believe He would. It's just that my mind has been poisoned by that kind of doctrine.

 

Last but not least I need get in the habit of putting other people's needs first and my needs last. God first, parents 2nd, girlfriend 3rd, friends 4th, strangers 5th, self last.

[Diggitydave]

Gracerules, thank you for all your input and thank everyone so far for contributing to this post. lets keep it going

[Perfection]

i love that everyone in this thread is taking control of themselves in a positive way. that's a great way to start the new year and it is very inspiring!

 

this made me laugh, of everything on the lists:

 

>>5. stay away from selfish mofos.

 

that needs to be on MY list, too, although i never thought of it quite like that. thanks for the inspiration/laugh.

 

i'm glad it made you laugh. but it's the truth you know. there are too many of those walking around who will use you till they need you and then discard you away like trash. and you end up standing there wondering what the heck happened!!!

[Mythical_Suicide]

My biggest thing I want to do different in 2009 is I want to focus more on how I feel about myself and less on how/what others feel and think of me.

 

There is plenty more but that is the main focus for right now

[Diggitydave]

I noticed a lot of us really want to not worry about what others think of us in 2009. I think that's great because it doesn't matter what they think!

[agent1607307371]

In 2009 my resolution is to be more resolute - I waste farrrrrr to much time just pottering. Not that pottering is a bad thing, only I just do that and then never get anything necessary done.

 

To go and see the places I want to see - I've been saying I'm going to Venice for about 3 years now and still haven't got there.

 

And to find a job that I would want to do full time. Last year I quit my job and took up temping (because I was stuck and crippled with shyness/ social anxiety) but now I want to get something more long term.

[Creative]

- Get enough sleep

- Graduate

- Find a quality girl

[lifeiscash]

1) Develop a habit of my workout plan and weight lifting routine

2) Focused to become more of a positive person with more positive thoughts.

[NowandZen]

Dave:

 

Have you read Wayne Dyer's book, "Your Erroneous Zones" ? It has a lot of good ideas on the need for approval.

[NowandZen]

Two things:

 

1 - stay present

2- do not argue with anyone

[hmdreamer7]

In 2009, I'm really going to work on living on my own, meaning being more responsible with bills and such. Also to be healthy and lose this extra weight I've gained. And to follow my dreams of working in a career that makes me happy! I've already got my foot in the door, just a matter of following through for 09....

[gracerules2008]

It still matters to me what other people think. Even more now than ever before. I need other people to validate me whether it's positive or negative.

 

The only way I'm going to be happy is by making other people happy. If others are not happy then what right do I have to be happy? answer: no rights. If someone is disappointed in me then I have every reason to be disappointed in myself.

[hey jo]

Great thread Diggitydave.

 

2009 will be a year of changes for me. I have finished my degree last December and I start work next month. In six months time, I will go on a voluntary mission somewhere, and I am really looking forward to that.

 

I do have loads of goals but my overall goal is to focus more on myself, do things that make me happy and do things that I really want to do. At the same time, I aim to be more selfless in my relationship with others. It does sound a tad ironic, but I realised that giving more to yourself doesn't necessarily mean that you are being selfish, especially if you have spent a significant amount of time trying to make other people happy to a point of forgetting yourself at times. Perhaps the more you invest in yourself, the more good you will be able to give to others.

[Diggitydave]

I think it 'matters' what other people think but when you're like me and have relied on it to get by and have a good day...it was imperative that i learn how to approve of myself and not let someone else' disapproval cause me too much distress.

[Anotherday]

I will hopefully dig myself out of this depression I've been in, quit smoking, lose the weight I put on this year, find a decent job, embark in a new career direction, establish a healthy relationship and make some quality friends. Wow, that's a lot.

[Diggitydave]

from my personal experience, digging yourself out of the depression wil be the hardest.

[Shyguy24]

I want to harness my spiritual side. I have already reduced alchol consuption by more than half, i only go out on the weekends and i am concentrating on my career a lot .

[Creative]

from my personal experience, digging yourself out of the depression wil be the hardest.

 

If he's not satisfied with his weight, losing them would do wonders for his depression.