Why am i not healing? Why do i feel so bad?

[littlestar]

I know i should stop counting the days but it doesn't seem to happen. At some point during the day i am reminded of what day of NC i am.

 

So far it is day 103.

 

Since Xmas day i am feeling the lowest i've ever felt in my life. At first i thought it could be coz i had a bit to much to drink Xmas day but now i am not so sure.

 

My healing is going no where. I am feeling stuck and unhappy.

 

Why cant i move on? Why am i not making progress? This hurts oh so much!

[hurtandused]

103 days omg has he even try,d to contect you

[Sn0man]

Could it be that you're not making progress because you're too fixated on how long it's been since you've been out of contact? Are you trying to do things that you enjoy? Are you out there striking out on your own, or are you just counting the days of NC hoping that it will all go away? I suppose what i'm wondering is if you're simply refusing to let yourself get over it.

 

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and I know the Christmas season can make things harder. But you really need to get out there and start doing whatever you need to do to take your mind off your ex and get it back on you.

[littlestar]

103 days omg has he even try,d to contect you

 

In a way i guess he has tried to make contact by being a nuisance and doing drive by's past my place and around the day 60ish mark he sent me a message trying to make it look like it was intended for someone else but i never responded. Havent heard from him since.

[littlestar]

Could it be that you're not making progress because you're too fixated on how long it's been since you've been out of contact? Are you trying to do things that you enjoy? Are you out there striking out on your own, or are you just counting the days of NC hoping that it will all go away? I suppose what i'm wondering is if you're simply refusing to let yourself get over it.

 

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and I know the Christmas season can make things harder. But you really need to get out there and start doing whatever you need to do to take your mind off your ex and get it back on you.

 

I am trying so hard to move on. I am doing all the things i didnt do when i was with him. I am trying to make myself happy and distract myself but for some reason i am failing to make progress. I am getting worse by the day.

[julioiglesia]

little star, holidays are a killer. I spent it by myself just wondering around. I don't have many close friends. I feel very down becaues I am lonely and I used to rely on that person. I think i have the same NC days as you. There is no answer just keep going

[littlestar]

little star, holidays are a killer. I spent it by myself just wondering around. I don't have many close friends. I feel very down becaues I am lonely and I used to rely on that person. I think i have the same NC days as you. There is no answer just keep going

 

Thanks for posting. NC sucks even worse than the holidays. Everyone is out being merry and feel like crap!

[pivotal]

You need a distraction.

 

It will be difficult until a substantial amount of time passes.

[littlestar]

You need a distraction.

 

It will be difficult until a substantial amount of time passes.

 

I wish time would go by faster. A day feels like eternity.

[Sn0man]

It's the middle of summer there, there should be lots to do to keep yourself distracted! Surfing, fighting kangaroos...

[littlestar]

It's the middle of summer there, there should be lots to do to keep yourself distracted! Surfing, fighting kangaroos...

 

LOL @ fighting Kangaroos. I am keeping occupied but it's not helping!

[Sn0man]

Then I have to guess that you're putting too much effort into hanging on to what you had, and not enough effort into what you could have.

 

NC is only the first step. Normally, it's all one needs to get started on the road to recovery, and that's pretty much what it is - you can relate a relationship to an addiction, in that once you stop getting what you need you do everything you can to either get it back, or to deny yourself the realization that there was a problem.

 

Maybe distracting yourself isn't enough. Maybe it's time to face the reasons why your relationship ended.

 

Have you spent your entire time while on NC in denial? Because that would definitely hinder any healing.

 

Maybe what you need is to accept that things are different now, and they will never go back to what they were. Usually that is the part that NC naturally takes care of - unless you spend it in denial and keep pining.

 

I hope that helps.