BusyNAbroad Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Imagine a situation in which you got angry with someone for something she/he did or said, and whatever he says or does to apologize or explain why he did so, you just don't care and get angrier the longer she/he sticks around. You are totally indifferent to whatever she/he does or says. A bit like when a police agent arrests someone and says you do say may be taken down and used in evidence against you." However much she/he tries to convince you that you probably misunderstood something, you decide not to listen anymore. What could that person try doing at that moment in order to break the ice? Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Smile and do the other person's favorite non-verbal form of communication, whatever that is. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 You definitely do not want to hear this but my reply is that you leave the person alone and stop irritating them. It will only push them away more and make them listen to you less. Another trick is to agree with what they are saying and become submissive. Might break down their walls and make them convince themselves that they are being too harsh on you. Personally I find it manipulative, but it is a tactic that can work. Link to comment
loulee Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 i would leave he/she well alone.. If I had sincerely apologised and was then "punished with indifference or "the Silent treatment" I would feel totally disrespected . Let this person "cool their heels ALONE...and they can then initiate contact later.. State why you are leaving and make it clear you will not be returning until they wish to act like an adult...You have said sorry... Its history...the more you make of it the more it grows..... Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 OK... but what if it is an urgent matter on my part?! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 The best thing to do in this situation is to walk away and leave them be. The longer you try to insist on getting your point accross, the more aggravated they will get. When someone shuts down on a person then the person needs to walk away with dignity. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 Well, my other alternative is aggression... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Well, my other alternative is aggression... Very bad alternative. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 What else?... If you need to get your message through at that moment. Especially if it's really urgent. Perhaps a few slaps on the face will wake them up... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 What else?... If you need to get your message through at that moment. Especially if it's really urgent. Perhaps a few slaps on the face will wake them up... Yeah, and you might wake up to an assault charge. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 Seriously, what else do you suggest? Just passively stand and watch until they change their mind? IF they change their mind? Doesn't even sound like advice. I wouldn't have asked if I knew I could do that... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 When someone has made it clear that they want you to stay away, the best thing you can do for YOURSELF is to stay away. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 Why? Could you at least provide me with some logic explanation to your solution instead of just writing some random wisdom? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Well, if you don't believe me then try it your way and see what happens. So far you have chased after her and it has not given you the desired result...you could continue to chase after her and see what happens. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Given the limited information you've provided on your problem I'd say you've been given good advice. I don't think anyone on this forum is going to advocate aggression ....obviously it could result in assault charges and a victim being hurt. You've presented a hypothetical question, just what kind of solution were you expecting? Link to comment
civilservant Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 I think that you want to hear some spectic advice, and we can't give it too you. Why should stay away? Because they asked you too. If you fail to comply you look weak, and will mostly likley continue to push them away. When you want to do something, DO NOTHING, because you can't muck anything ip that way. Link to comment
loulee Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Why? Could you at least provide me with some logic explanation to your solution instead of just writing some random wisdom? Perhaps YOU should listen to CADogs and other good advice..It is also very Difficult to give sound advice to someone who 1. has not explained EXACTLY what happened.. thats your business of course 2.. Someone who does not wish to take advice from both the person they have upset and the people on this forum offering assistance... Link to comment
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