Break up out of the blue, NC, then LC, thinking of going back NC

[stabbedintheback]

Haven't written on here in awhile, so I figured I would seek some advice.

 

My story is on here, you can find threads started by me by doing a quick search for threads started by me.

 

I will try to make this quick:

 

- we broke up after nearly 19 months together. breakup was out of the blue, I made some comment and she just threw in the towel.

 

- went about 6 days NC and she sent me an email. (off the wall, nothing to do with the relationship)

 

- I broke NC after 10 days because I figured I have nothing to loose, might as well go LC.

 

- We had been LC for about two weeks and I decided to throw my thoughts out on the table. (no begging or pleading) just told her I want to give it another shot. She says we can't just jump back in, which I totally agree with. She says, we are talking, that is the first step....

 

-we decided to go out on a date one Friday night. (two weeks ago) The date went well and we went back to her place and hung out. We held hands and made out a little. I didn't try to pursue anything else. She fell asleep holding my hand. I got up and went home. The next day I see her for an hour, we held hands again and kissed a little. On Sunday we decided to hang out and did some running around.

 

-we talk briefly through text the next day and then she calls me two days later. I figure I won't see her this upcoming weekend. Out of the blue on Saturday morning she calls and says she has a huge favor to ask. She couldn't pick something up before it closed and asked if I could and then take it over to her house. I agreed....she asked me to wait for her to get home. We hung out for another couple hours. The next day she sends me a text message and asks me if I want to come to her family Christmas dinner on Friday (couldn't do it on Christmas as everyone wasn't there). I decided to go.

 

My question:

i just got home and am confused as to where we are going with this. She dropped the "it was so nice hanging out with friends tonight" line. (there was another really good friend of hers over) She knows what I want. Is she trying to be only friends (remebmer three weeks prior she states she thinks we are on the right path to working things out).

 

Am I making myself too available. I am thinking of going NC for awhile and see if that helps me transition better. (unfortunately part of me wants it to make her think about what is oging on)

 

Any advice is would be greatly appreciated. The breakup happened almost 7 weeks ago.

[Jester1586]

Play a little harder to get. Be busy one day, don't answer the phone one time. Call her back later.

 

You don't want to fall into the friend zone. She knows what you want. Flirt with her at times, but not a lot. Stay aloof. As long as you stay away from the friend zone, and she sees you on occasion, you should be alright.

 

Everything looks good so far. Good luck.

[stabbedintheback]

That's what I have been thinking. I keep on telling myself, don't answer, tell her you are busy, etc.....I just don't want her to turn her back on me if I do this. Oh well, I have to do it, and if she turns away, guess it wasn't meant to be?

[Jester1586]

If you miss her call one time she'll stop talking to you? I doubt that. When you miss a friend's call do they stop being your friend? No. She'll be the same way. You just need her to know that you have a life and that you don't need her to survive, you just want her.

[stabbedintheback]

Well, she tried calling about an hour ago when I was out shopping. I didn't answer (really didn't hear the phone until the last ring, but I wouldn't have answered it anyways).

 

Let me throw this thought out....contact in the past few weeks has been mutual......does everyone on here talk to their "friends" everyday? I know I surely don't. Just a thought

[stabbedintheback]

Well, I waited a couple of hours to call back. (yeah, I am so weak) we talked for about a half hour. I told her I was returning her call and asked if she needed anything. She said nope, that she just wanted to talk to me. (she said, do I have to have a reason to call you) So many mixed emotions....trying to stop thinking about her constantly. Boy this is rough.](*,)

[stabbedintheback]

Anybody else, this is really eating me up

[stabbedintheback]

Day number two of NC and she just tried calling me a minute ago. What do I do. Trying to stay strong, please help me from calling.

[sadme]

I have gotten back with my X several times after he broke up with me and it helped to get out on dates to push it forward. That's what all the break up books, etc say. Go no contact for a month, call and ask to set up a date if they agree its a good sign, keep going on dates until they are back in. I think if they agree to go on a date with you its a very good sign as I would not do that unless I was somewhat interested. They do say when on the date do not talk about the relationship and just have fun and make the first few dates short like you have something to do the next day early, etc. Just my two cents. I think it works.