family or wife

[darkfaolan]

if you had to choose between your family growing up or your wife who you love more than anything when compromise is not an option what would you choose and why?

[ghost69]

wait. this is too vague a question to ask. what do you mean choose your wife or your family? like your family hates your wife and will disown you if you stay together? your wife hates your family?

[waveseer]

I hope I am raising my children to put their future spouses and families before me, just as my parents taught me to put my future spouses and families before them.

[darkfaolan]

family hates the wife and wont try wife wants to try but family wont have it

[ghost69]

your family needs to realize that you are in love. your are aren't you? sorry, lol, had to ask.

 

but they need to understand it's your life and your heart to give away. you gave it to her and they need to accept that. your happiness should be all that a loving family needs. that sucks man they are like this.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Family as in parents of yours, or family as in your children?

[darkfaolan]

of course i love her more than anything good answer

[darkfaolan]

family as in parents/sister/grandparents

[ghost69]

family as in parents/sister/grandparents

 

do they say why they don't like her? do they say she brings you down in a certain way......mentally, financially?

[doyathink]

If you love someone, then they should accept her bc they love you.

[darkfaolan]

no they dont like that i spend more time with her than them and my grandpa says ive changed mostlt because i picked wife

[ghost69]

have you told your family about how happy you are and that she will be a part of your life? i mean, have you stood some ground?

[Snoopy24]

If your family can't accept your wife while she is trying, they aren't worth it IMO.

 

Nobody who loves you, should try to make you choose between them and someone else you love.

[ghost69]

key word .

[Crush85]

I think you're referring to your own blood family. I would chose my blood family over my wife any day. In this day and age, she's your family today, not tomorrow.

 

I guess if I were in this situation, and things were so bad that a compromise couldn't be reached, I think I'd choose my family over my wife. Because who's going to be there for you when things don't work out with the wife?

[doyathink]

Tolerance. It's called tolerance. They don't have to like her, but they can show some freakin respect for their son, and tolerate her.

[Snoopy24]

I guess if I were in this situation, and things were so bad that a compromise couldn't be reached, I think I'd choose my family over my wife. Because who's going to be there for you when things don't work out with the wife?

 

how do you know things wont work out with his wife?

 

Just because the divorce rate is high, doesn't mean a lot of of marriages don't last a lifetime.

 

I guess I'd need more details, but if his family doesn't want to put in any effort to try and have a relationship with his wife, or even be associated with her, why should he choose them? THEY are rejecting him, and his wife, while his wife is trying to work it out.

[Crush85]

how do you know things wont work out with his wife?

 

I was just saying what I'd do if I was in that situation.

[Snoopy24]

I was just saying what I'd do if I was in that situation.

 

you said:

 

"Because who's going to be there for you when things don't work out with the wife?"

 

as if you're assuming things wont work out. I mean I know lots of marriages don't work out, but that's a very pessimistic view to have, especially if it's for yourself.

[Snoopy24]

I think #2 is dead on. Nobody has to like everybody, but sometimes you have to suck it up and tolerate them.

[Snoopy24]

No offense snoopy but you sound like you might be his wife. We're all saying the right things. The guy is right, so am I and so are you.

 

I know. I'm not saying his opinion is right or wrong. I just think it's sad when so many people "assume" all relationships/marriages fail. I dunno, it hits a nerve.

[Crush85]

you said:

 

"Because who's going to be there for you when things don't work out with the wife?"

 

as if you're assuming things wont work out. I mean I know lots of marriages don't work out, but that's a very pessimistic view to have, especially if it's for yourself.

 

I wasn't referring to him specifically. It was more of a food-for-thought question. Anyone who reads the entire post will pretty much understand what I meant.

[John Bendix]

I know. I'm not saying his opinion is right or wrong. I just think it's sad when so many people "assume" all relationships/marriages fail. I dunno, it hits a nerve.

 

Maybe bc 1/2 of all end up in divorce. And your family usually does stand by their blood relation.

 

This is a tricky question. Fifteen years into my marriage, my brother, my mother and father all blamed my wife (at the time) for problems that my brother and I were having. She had no idea what was going on at all. My brother is the master manipulater.

 

One day my mom snapped at my wife out of the blue, blaming things on her. My wife did not even respond she was so taken back and confused. She was being wrongly accused. I ask my mother and father to please leave my house. This was my wife's house too, and they were wrong. My father called her a few names to me over the phone and I let him have it. We did not speak for over a year. MY mothers has seen that she had been manipulated by my brother and knew she was wrong.

 

On the other side, my father, before he died, told my mother that someday that my wife was going to do something to hurt the kids and I. He was on target.

 

As I have said, it is a tough spot to be in, for sure.

[Snoopy24]

I wasn't referring to him specifically. It was more of a food-for-thought question. Anyone who reads the entire post will pretty much understand what I meant.

 

yeah I got what you said. But it could work both ways.. Things don't always work out with family either. All I'm saying is just because someone is blood related, doesn't mean there is an automatic life long bond with them, and not with your married parter.

[catfeeder]

You selected your wife and made vows to her. If your family loves you enough, they will respect those vows and won't try to manipulate you into breaking them. This is the stuff that tests what your promises are made of.

 

In your corner.