Why are some men with mean girls?

[innocentbabe]

We always tend to say why do ladies go for the jerks but vice-versa is happening to my friend's cousin. He already got dumped and cheated more than 4 times and still keeps taking her back?

 

Can someone please tell me why, what does she got? Why would a nice gentleman like him be with someone that treats him poorly?

[ghost69]

some guys like that control.

[Lionel Hutz]

No sense of pride. Some people settle on being told what to do because they lack critical thinking skills. They cant figure out what to do. Ive a handful of friends in this position. Sucks for them.

[darkfaolan]

its not the mean part theyre attracted to its the confidence jerks are confident

[Lionel Hutz]

its not the mean part theyre attracted to its the confidence jerks are confident

 

I agree with this 100% I like a girl whos not afraid to talk back, but mutual respect must be the foundation.

[ghost69]

I agree with this 100% I like a girl whos not afraid to talk back, but mutual respect must be the foundation.

 

that's not a mean girl though. i don't think that is the type of mean the OP is asking about.

[Lionel Hutz]

^ Which? The one I stated was a personal reference. What I agreed to, was the fact that the OPs example may be a bit on the cocky side. Hense cheating and having whomever she wants. I think that goes under confidence/egotism, which can become mean. I shoulda explained a bit more.

[ghost69]

^ Which? The one I stated was a personal reference. What I agreed to, was the fact that the OPs example may be a bit on the cocky side. Hense cheating and having whomever she wants. I think that goes under confidence/egotism, which can become mean. I shoulda explained a bit more.

 

yeah you should have.

 

i'm under the impression they are more or less talking along the lines of controlling.

[Lionel Hutz]

The idea of control in a relationship can go a few different ways IMO. Control where, like what we have here, when she can come and go as she pleases, essentially running the guy over; or the dictator type that says "do this" "do that". I guess without specific examples we can be left to assume. Simply put, I think we can agree that the dude has no balls.

[babii doll]

this reminds me of that reality show "bridezillas" i watch sometimes, in the back of my mind im thinking how do these b*tches land a man? lol when there are so many women out there who are kindhearted and loyal who arent disrespectful. its a mystery to me.

[greywolf]

We always tend to say why do ladies go for the jerks but vice-versa is happening to my friend's cousin. He already got dumped and cheated more than 4 times and still keeps taking her back?

 

Can someone please tell me why, what does she got? Why would a nice gentleman like him be with someone that treats him poorly?

 

Because he likes it.

[afrodite79]

this reminds me of that reality show "bridezillas" i watch sometimes, in the back of my mind im thinking how do these b*tches land a man? lol when there are so many women out there who are kindhearted and loyal who arent disrespectful. its a mystery to me.

 

Yeah. I was thinking that too. Some of the women on that show are so selfish, downright disrespectful and mean to their fiances. You can tell the man is POed about how she treats him but he just goes with it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think it's really because the guy likes to dote on a girl and is perhaps going about it the wrong way. The girls that want/need to be doted on in a relationship are often selfish, self-centered, and, overall, mean.

 

I have a friend who goes from one relationship to another, and he gets (for the lack of a better term) * * * * * whipped with each of these women. Even though, I knew some of these women and they didn't have their previous bf's tied around their fingers.

 

He just seems to end up in those relationships with women who don't tend to end up in those relationship. Meaning, he's probably the cause for that power balance/imbalance.

 

Whatever the case may be, he's been dating his current gf for almost 2 years now. Are they the healthiest? I would say, far from. But, he seems happy and he could leave at any time.

[Up and Down]

Debaser Wolf, I love that you quoted the Pixies. They were one of my favorite bands growing up. Still like them.

 

Anyway back the OP, some men get caught up in the vicious abuse cycle, sometimes this women are absolutely sweet and kind and other times mean. Many men (people) keep hoping that if they do the right thing, act the right way they will return to this sweet kind person. However it's just an ongoing circle and these men remain trapped until they realize it won't ever end.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Debaser Wolf, I love that you quoted the Pixies. They were one of my favorite bands growing up. Still like them.

 

Anyway back the OP, some men get caught up in the vicious abuse cycle, sometimes this women are absolutely sweet and kind and other times mean. Many men (people) keep hoping that if they do the right thing, act the right way they will return to this sweet kind person. However it's just an ongoing circle and these men remain trapped until they realize it won't ever end.

 

I think women do that too.

 

I know that back when I was younger and naive, I thought that I could turn a guy around by being a "good enough" girlfriend. That if I was just a better girlfriend, he'd give up drugs and focus on school.

 

But, after that relationship failed, I learned that it was not my job to take care of my boyfriends.