boyfriend doesnt want sex??

[elizath17]

we've been together for awhile now and just a month ago we started having sex. but then afterwards he says he thinks we should wait until we're married. i love him more than anything and he the same. and there's nothing wrong with anything other than that. is it bad that he doesn't want to? i've tried almost anything but he still doesn't want to. what should i do?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Talk to him about why he doesn't want to have sex. Religious? Fear of pregnancy? Doesn't feel ready still?

 

And, ultimately, respect his wishes.

[hiphop3]

were you both virgins?

[elizath17]

were you both virgins?

 

yeah. i think he's worried that i'll get pregnant or something.

[Lionel Hutz]

Most guys are afraid of having kids. Talking with him would be best. Is he against everything else too? Like foreplay?

[elizath17]

Most guys are afraid of having kids. Talking with him would be best. Is he against everything else too? Like foreplay?

 

no he's all for that, but it does get old after awhile

[Lionel Hutz]

Have you thought about using more than one form of birth control? I mean, you can't really pressure him into it. I know if this were a guy trying to pressure a girl, the responses would be a bit different. We've been going through this for ages. Its either be patient, or look for someone who fills that void.

[Cognitive_Canine]

no he's all for that, but it does get old after awhile

 

Then you aren't doing it right. haha.

 

There are limitless options with foreplay and some are as enjoyable as sex.

 

Think if this was switched, if he were the girl and you were the man. It's inappropriate to pressure someone, guy or girl, into sex.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Have you thought about using more than one form of birth control? I mean, you can't really pressure him into it. I know if this were a guy trying to pressure a girl, the responses would be a bit different. We've been going through this for ages. Its either be patient, or look for someone who fills that void.

 

Ahh, beat me to it.

 

Yes, there is quite the double standard.

 

It's weird for a girl to want sex and it's weird for a guy to not want sex.

 

Promiscuous girls are called many names and non-promiscuous boys are gay or "weird".

 

It's a horrible thing.

[elizath17]

Have you thought about using more than one form of birth control. I mean, you cant really pressure him into it. I know if this were a guy trying to pressure a girl, the responses would be a bit different.

 

yea and im in the process of doing so but i think im mostly worried that he's not going to want to do anything later on. i dont really pressure him, i think ive asked him once or twice.

[Lionel Hutz]

yea and im in the process of doing so but i think im mostly worried that he's not going to want to do anything later on. i dont really pressure him, i think ive asked him once or twice.

 

Dont worry about it at all. He really really really likes you. Especially since he doesnt want just sex. He has expressed his patience, now reciprocate it.

[elizath17]

Ahh, beat me to it.

 

Yes, there is quite the double standard.

 

It's weird for a girl to want sex and it's weird for a guy to not want sex.

 

Promiscuous girls are called many names and non-promiscuous boys are gay or "weird".

 

It's a horrible thing.

 

it is a double standard it is a horrible thing, but is this going to mean that he's not going to want to do anything in the future?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Dont worry about it at all. He really really really likes you. Especially since he doesnt want just sex. He has expressed his patience, now reciprocate it.

 

I agree.

 

He's concerned about you getting pregnant. Which means he cares about you.

 

I would take it as a compliment.

 

And then I'd have fun exploring the wonders of foreplay.

[elizath17]

Dont worry about it at all. He really really really likes you. Especially since he doesnt want just sex. He has expressed his patience, now reciprocate it.

 

thanks that helps. will do

[Cognitive_Canine]

it is a double standard it is a horrible thing, but is this going to mean that he's not going to want to do anything in the future?

 

Does he have a sex drive? Is he a sexual person?

 

Unless he is asexual, eventually you'll come to a place in your relationship where he is okay with having sex. Just be patient.

 

My bf expressed the same concerns and that's part of the reason why we waited as long as we did to have sex. But, he is a very sexual person, overall. He got over it and all is good now.

[ghost69]

maybe after having sex it really set in (i'm assuming your teenagers) what teen pregnancy can do. be happy he's cautious if that is in fact his motive.

[elizath17]

Does he have a sex drive? Is he a sexual person?

 

Unless he is asexual, eventually you'll come to a place in your relationship where he is okay with having sex. Just be patient.

 

My bf expressed the same concerns and that's part of the reason why we waited as long as we did to have sex. But, he is a very sexual person, overall. He got over it and all is good now.

 

thanks that helps alot actually. i can wait i just dont want to do anything wrong lol.

[DN]

I think finding out the real reason is important because there is the possibility that the reason may be an aversion to sex that could affect a future sex life.

 

He shouldn't be pressured but you do need to know why.

[darkfaolan]

i would ask him for oral sex then and talk to him about his reasons why tell him open communication is important for every successful relationship most women like oral more than sex anyway