Weddings don't matter?

[Aschleigh]

I realized that I could be at my "perfect" wedding and if I married the wrong guy it would not matter how "perfect" the wedding was. It would still be the wrong man to marry.

And if I was to marry the right man, the kind of wedding would not matter either because I would be marrying the right man.

So either way weddings don't matter, it's the marriage that matters.

 

Which makes me think I might as well elope or not have a wedding at all. Because if I have the right person there with me, none of that matters .

 

What do you think?

[Mythical_Suicide]

It's true that the actual ceremony doesn't matter whether it's big or small however if a big wedding makes you happy, then have a big wedding. If eloping makes you happy then do that too.

 

I feel the same way, I don't need a huge ceremony with tons of people for my wedding to be good or for me to be happy so i'm having a mid-sized wedding that is costing under $3000 (that is including EVERYTHING, including us paying for part of the bridesmaids dresses and tux rentals) which is fairly cheap.

[High5girl]

I think you are right.

Most ppl have weddings b/c they want to share that special day with their family and loved ones.

[redhearts]

Marriage is not about a big party, but about celebrating your love. So eloping or a court house is even better because you are just so happy to marry that one person who you know is so right.

[Samedy]

I would prefer a smaller wedding. My Sister had a big wedding, and my best friend had a big wedding. They were nice but the expense to these types of weddings in enormous. It's funny, I was talking to my sister about her wedding the last time I was visiting her and she probably couldn't even name half the people that went to her wedding. I even told her that the last time I saw a particular person was at her wedding, she looked at my oddly and said, "I didn't even remember them being at the wedding".

 

*Before my friends wedding, we were talking about the expenses and how big the guest list was. He commented that most of the people were friends of the bride and people the parents wanted to go to the wedding. So it is also about families and friends of the family. I still would prefer something smaller though... but it's all about the bride that day, and no one can really honestly say different.

[elizabeth2008]

While I do believe a marriage is between the two individuals, I DO think it is beautiful to also celebrate the friends and family members in your lives who have helped support and shape you into the people you are. I want to have a wedding someday because I want my family members to share in the joy of gaining a new family member! But, that's just me. Each couple should do whatever they want in this regard.

[redhearts]

I also think that the money is better spent towards a honey moon than a big wedding.

[shes2smart]

Depends on how close you are to your family/friends and whether or not you think that's something that should be shared with a group of people.

 

I'm not close to my family, neither is my husband. I have a few very close friends, but they are spread hither and yon all over the country at this point in our lives. While I have no doubt they would have made the effort to be there if I'd asked them, I just couldn't see asking them. Primarily because I have this belief that a wedding is a very personal event. And, as with all things that are highly personal, it's best when it's not shared with a large group of people, some of whom you won't know and who don't really give a crap, anyway.

 

I did not attend my high school or college graduation ceremonies due to the same line of beliefs/reasoning.

 

In the end, my wedding day was just me and my husband at the courthouse. Afterwards we went out to lunch and then to a movie. Then went back to our apartment complex and went swimming. No months of pre-planning, no stress, no drama, and about $200 in total for the license, minister, rings, courthouse parking and lunch. We had free passes for the movie. At the end of the day: Just as married as the couple who spent thousands of dollars and months planning with a lot less BS.

[coolgirl]

I actually regret having my wedding. I had a big wedding. Around 200 guests. And I wish I didnt but I always grew up saying when I get married i want to wear a wedding dress and have my family around me. And just celebrating the event. First of marrying the guy was wrong of me to do. I dont know why i did it cuz he was the wrong person. I knew he was the wrong person at the same time i wanted to settle down too. Nor he was ready for it or I was. I pushed it and regret doing that too. But is the most sweet, and caring person I've ever known him and his family. And here we are after 3 1/2 years both of us separated him at his folks and i'm at my parents. If you want to get married make sure you want to be with the person and want to spend the rest of your life with. About weddings if i were to go back and undo the wedding I had. I wouldn't do it. I understand every girl would like to have a wedding and wear that dress. its that one night so if you decide to have a wedding or not try to make it special for the both of you cuz you 2 are the important one's. And here I am making the toughest decision of my life as to letting him go for good or to stick by his side.

[_Asti_]

It depends.

My boyfriend has said he doesn't really care about the ceremony, marrying me is enough. And to a certain extent I feel the same.

 

But at the end of the day, we both know how much we'd love our close relatives their to celebrate the day with us and we would create OUR perfect wedding together, and have the two things we wanted.

[Batya33]

I could not have had a medium size wedding - it would either have been very small (what we did) or large and running at least into the tens of thousands and months of planning. I planned a large wedding once that never happened and didn't find the planning part fun.

 

To me the wedding is the ceremony, not the party or "reception". I LOVED my wedding which I posted about a few weeks ago. I also loved our party which consisted of 8 guests (all family except my husband's best friend since he is an only child), lots of good food (but not fancy), including a traditional wedding cake and gorgeous flowers sent by my best friend who is in the business. My father in law made sure there was wedding music playing on a CD player! Although we had been thinking of having a big party next year to be honest it is not something I care to do - the stress and expense outweigh the 5 hours of fun/sharing with our friends/family.

 

I always thought I wanted to wear a traditional wedding gown -and I have one in my closet - it cost thousands of dollars and I inherited it from a deceased relative who died young. I tried it on and even though I loved it on her, it felt so uncomfortable and huge that I didn't see the point. I did wear a borrowed, traditional veil and bridal shoes (and oh yes, a regular dress - this was a G-rated wedding, lol). Worked perfectly for me.

 

I completely agree that a big party cannot make up in the least for marrying the wrong person and of course that you don't need a big party to feel wonderful on your wedding day.

 

It's completely up to you.