Christmas. No Contact exception?

[InThisCity]

I'm new. Hi.

 

How is everyone?

 

I'll keep it short and sweet.

 

Met a great girl, 7 years younger than me. (I 26 now, her 20) Dated her for a year. I'm from the city, she's from the country. Learned a lot, thought I had met someone I could see myself with. She was my first true love. We fought a little bit and did not see eye to eye on a couple things. That was ok, I wanted to work through it and make it work. One month before breakup she's feeling pressure, saying that I need to re-assure her that we are meant to be together. Then she breaks up with me, saying that the age difference was too much and she needs to be 20. Real reason is probably that something just didn't feel right to her anymore when it once did. I initially beg for her back for a day, then accept the breakup. I tell her this. She says we can be friends. It's harder than we think. Other guys are in her life, and beating down the door, and I'm trying to maintain letting her have her freedom while working on my life as well. I know things I shouldn't. I know she's kissed other guys since. I haven't kissed any girls or had any rebounds.

 

I've come along way, but have relapsed once and awhile. some days are better than others. Example 2 weeks ago I caved and told her how hurt I was and that I couldn't help wanting her back I didn't ask for her back, just told her how I felt. She replied that we are never meant to be together. That's fine. After that I went back to leaving her alone, and working on myself. I've agreed with her decision, and I'm not playing games anymore, although it's hard not to wonder what she's up to. I see her once a week at church, but other than that and social networking sites (I stopped updating my status b/c I need to stop going on there, but once and awhile I check hers. bad I know), I've maintained not calling her, not talking to her past small talk and going out living my life here in the city.

 

Now to the meat of it. It's been a month and some odd weeks. It's christmas. She messages me "Merry Christmas" this morning but I won't have any of that. Do I let the day pass without replying? ...is that cold? I don't want to be cold but I need to send a message. I am moving on, and I am not here to fall back on. You let me go, and that's it. We can be friends but not good friends that are intimate and close. And if it's a mass text, that means nothing and deserves no reply. If it's just to me, then I can't help but feel like I need to respond b/c I feel like she's reaching out.

 

What do I do? (I tried to keep that as short as possible)

 

Names Justin by the way

[keith515]

I would just respond and think nothing of it. You won't know if it was a mass text or not.

 

But I wouldn't expect to hear from her ever again and I wouldn't expect you to contact her ever again either.

 

My point is, don't over think it, just do it and be done with it. Or decide not to do it. It's a small matter that should be made with a quick decision and be done with it.

[InThisCity]

I will have to see her once a week b/c we're pretty committed to the church we both go to. I'm sure she'll just dissolve into an acquaintance, but that definitely removes the "ever" part of it. It's unavoidable. Days like this hurt b/c I remember a lot of things. New Years will hurt even more.

 

I can't see myself never contacting her again. That's all I'm trying to reply to say I guess.

[deff808]

My ex texted me twice, merry xmas....

 

not gonna reply back!

 

i work with her, so i can tell her in person, or i'll wait until she says "did you get my text message...?"

 

How does it feel to be ignored or not important!

[keefy1972]

You are still struggling with this break up and are not ready yet. Let it go without replying.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Since you see her every week at Church I would suggest that you just send her a Merry Christmas text back. It is just politeness...doesn't have to mean anything other than a courtesy you would extend to anybody...from the people on ENA to the shopkeepers...it is just something that is said in the spirit of the day. So if you just view it as if you are wishing friends, colleagues, the person who just poured you a Latte a Merry Christmas then you won't feel like it is a major, meaningful, life-altering gesture...it is just being polite.

[InThisCity]

I sent a text back saying "Merry Christmas to you too". As previously pointed out, I do have to see her weekly so it is a common courtesy to reply. So I did.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. It just hurts b/c she first told me she loved me when Christmas was nearing and she bought me ornaments for my first tree without my parents. (I had no decorations) One day she whispered this question:

 

"Do you know why I bought those ornaments"

"No, why"

"Because I love you"

 

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I sent a text back saying "Merry Christmas to you too". As previously pointed out, I do have to see her weekly so it is a common courtesy to reply. So I did.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. It just hurts b/c she first told me she loved me when Christmas was nearing and she bought me ornaments for my first tree without my parents. (I had no decorations) One day she whispered this question:

 

"Do you know why I bought those ornaments"

"No, why"

"Because I love you"

 

 

 

Aww, I am sorry. It is rough. Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing but you can hold your head up high. You did well.