I just cried for the first time after losing my ex...I think

[keith515]

I haven't cried in a long time. Definitely not since I've broken up with my ex.

 

I've been drinking and Summer of Sam was on. This was a movie that I remember vividly when I was with my ex-fiance. Movies was one of the few things that brought many emotions when I was with my ex.

 

Anyway, I am a big fan of The Who and the ending scene brought tears to my eyes. Actually not tears, but uncontrollable crying. It was intense.

I couldn't watch this movie ever since my fiance and I broke up. It was too real. But this time I wanted to watch it. Combined with Christmas and drinking and the scenes, I broke down and cried like a little baby. I think the last time I cried like that was 2005.

 

I've been waiting for this for a long time since my and ex and I broke up. I don't know if it was due to my most recent ex or my ex-fiance.

 

I don't really have a question but I hope someone has experienced the same thing I did.

[Sn0man]

It's all those emotions that you suppress finally being let out. I'm sure the alcohol had something to do with it, but still, opening the floodgates is one hell of a way to get all those pent up emotions that you deny yourself OUT. Congrats, tomorrow you will feel better, if you don't already

[Nearwater]

Well, I went through many months of grief over losing my partner. I'm a pretty tough 48 year old guy and was only 10 days ago crying in my ski goggles on a chairlift we rode many times. Triggers can just make you feel overwhelmed.

 

It's okay, we can feel and sometimes or female partners never let these feelings out.

 

It seems to be passing in time.

 

I hope you enjoy the holiday.

[tina-rocks]

I'm still crying now and suspect I will for the foreseeable future at least.

 

I think it's better to release the feeling than to bottle it up. Helps to come to terms with what happened.

[NewPhillyGuy]

Hey, man. I feel you. Sounds like we are in similar places.

 

My fiancee left me in 2005, and I cried like a baby only a month or two after it happened, as far as I can remember. I haven't experienced a really good cry yet about my recent breakup. I have had tears come to my eyes due to hearing some songs, and yeah, alcohol was usually involved.

 

I think it's great that you are in touch with your feelings, and will come on here and admit to crying. It's really such a human and beautiful thing, although some people feel ashamed of it. Good for you for having the courage to express yourself in this way.

 

Hope you are feeling better soon.

[keith515]

Thanks for the responses!

 

After I cried I wasn't feeling sad. As sad as I felt when I cried, it's weird how fine I felt afterwards.

 

I think another trigger was that was the first time I got drunk at home since I was with my ex-GF.

 

I remember when I was feeling happy about not being with my ex-fiance yet I would come home from work and drink wine and the ending scene in Magnolia when Tom Cruise cried after seeing his father died would make me cry every time. It was actually kind of a ritual for me, drink, watch the movie, and cry.

 

I'm feeling better.

 

Merry Christmas to all!

[tina-rocks]

I'm so glad you are feeling better Keith515. Drink can bring out the emotions we try so hard to keep locked inside.. I think it's wonderful that you were able to express them and let it out.. It is strange the feeling we get afterwards. Sometimes it feels a relief to cry.

 

I hope you enjoy the rest of your Christmas now a little easier.

 

Tina x x

[Joel Barish]

I have such a hard time crying. But I love when I can actually do it! I guess its just ingrained into me, to be a tough man, can't cry...etc. But its a really therapeutic release. I've had a few good ones since the breakup, although not as much as I would like...

[JohnDoe123]

I cried so often when I was WITH my ex that no i think they have all dried up...

 

I cried for a second yesterday but it passed quickly.

 

I feel it all inside me but it won't come out.

 

I guess maybe it is because I'm not "heartbroken" after this one of many breakups. I can't actually say I'm "numb" because i have emotions: I've managed a laugh of two, I feel anger, I feel a sadness and deep regret, I feel frustration, and I'm just so dispointed inside but the tears just won't come.

 

My relationship was with someone whom i strongly believe has a mental disorder and in the end I think there has been some serious damage to my psyche. I don't have insurance and I'm pretty-well broke so these forums are my only "therapy".

 

I wish I could just cry and get it ALL out of my system. I'm 44 years old and I'm afraid the damage is too great to ever heal up from. I'm not heartsick- I think I'm ruined for good this time.

 

Damn.

[keith515]

Ever since I cried I do feel better. The big thing was I wouldn't feel very social or friendly around my friends or family. That's not the same now.

 

I can tell I am finally beginning to heal.

[tina-rocks]

Keith thats great news. I am so pleased for you..

 

Crying for me has become part of my release process and I'm not ashamed of the emotion as it's part of my healing.

 

I have noticed things can trigger it off easily but it feels better sometimes just to let it all out.

 

I am always here to talk if you feel you want to or just to rant at if needed.

 

Tina x x

[Phoenix_girl]

whe my ex disappeared on me 3 years ago, i was too pissed off to cry...especially when i found out i was pregnant. I was hurt, i was mad, i was a lot of things, and there jsut didnt seem to be any room for any of it to get out. I just kind of sulked.....and eventually went numb.

Then one day a few months ago, i just broke down in tears. This had come after a few months of rather deep depression (theres been a lot going on). At first I couldn't figure out why, so i started blogging. it was hard, and there was still a lot of crying, but i figured out that I was (finally) letting go of everything i had pent up after my ex left. And i was also admitting to myself (and everyone) that he was physically and emotionally abusive to me.

Theres still tears, and i know there will be many more to come, but not that i CAN cry about it, I know im on the path to recovery.