How would u feel if your mother said this to you....

[littlestar]

It's Xmas day here. My mother lives about 1500 miles from where i live. She has come home for Xmas. We spent it with her, my father, a close family friend and myself.

 

We were joking around before and i said to her "Mother any nice guys where you are?"

 

And she said plenty but they're looking for decent girls not little sl*ts like you.

 

This is not the first time she has said something like this to me in front of other people.

 

How would u feel if your mother said this to you?

 

Do i have a right to be angry?

 

What was the purpose of her saying this? Is it a reflection of herself!

 

I may not be perfect but i know for a fact she is messing with a married man in another country.

[redhearts]

Seriously I would of slapped her.

[coolgirl]

I would be angry yea, but i would also sit down and talk to her about this like an adult and " Slapping" is not the right thing to do. off course you have every right to be angry and upset. maybe when things cool down a little and if she gave you a little hard time about it then I wouldn't talk to her until she comes and apologizes to you.

[littlestar]

She has always had this 'thing' about calling me that name, so i know she wont ever apologize, she dont think she has said anything wrong.

[ButterflyWrists]

try calling her those names. probably wont work, but it will make her feel as bad as you feel. if your not a sl.t then ignore her comments, it takes someone of a cirtant behaviour to know someone along the same rails as themselves. she is proabbly trying to divert the name from herself.

[littlestar]

She has been calling me a sl*t waaaaaay before the incident i did something that may possibly give her the right to call me that.

[HighwayStar]

Even if you think someone is a * * * * ...that's pretty rude. I would only say something like that expecting a fight to ensue.

 

I would ask her why she felt the need to humiliate you by calling you something you're not.

[Mock Chop]

Just tell her the apple never falls far from the tree.

 

Honestly, my mother can be a complete b!tch too so I cut off contact with her. Not spoken to her since about February, not seen her face to face since January. I was at my lowest ebb ever and she turned it around so it was about her. A familiar pattern! So I decided enough was enough and cut the ties. They only live about 10 minutes drive from me - I've been in my house for nearly 2 years and she's never set foot in it. That's how much she cares.

 

Tell her that she's out of order and if she continues with such disrespectful behaviour then you don't want her in your life. It's not easy, I know, but why put up with being insulted just because it's your mother doing it?!

[ladylol1234]

Sorry to be so blunt, but your mother was being a b*tch. Don't let her get the best of you tho. There's obviously something missin in her life that is making her so bitter. You can learn to see past her ignorance.

 

Merry Christmas! Try to enjoy yours!

[agent1607307371]

She has been calling me a sl*t waaaaaay before the incident i did something that may possibly give her the right to call me that.

 

Whatever you did, no you didn't.

 

I can think of maybe one other word that is more offensive, demeaning and cruel than Sl*t, that's how bad that word is.

That she would use that word on you, tells you a lot about the kind of person your mother is.

[richie_nut]

That is one thing a mother should never be calling their daughter, no matter what events took place in the past. That word is in no way maternal at all.

 

Right to be angry? Undoubtedly, along with the right to be absolutely crushed that she would view you in this light. If she's not going to take you seriously and realise how much this is effecting you then maybe she needs a bit of a harsh lesson - e.g. no contact for a while. Might make her realise what she's potentially losing.

 

And yes, it's definitely a reflection on herself. People criticise others when they're jealous or feeling bad about themselves. To have your own mother do this is mind-boggling...particularly when she's messing round with a married man! I'd definitely be wanting to take a step back and have a good long breather from her but it's your call.

 

Good luck either way

[JeckyllNHyde]

wow. hell yes i'd be mad. i know it's not a "written rule" but parents are supposed to be the ones we can ALWAYS go to when OTHERS are name calling us.

wow is all i can really say. i'm baffled that someone messing with a married man would have the nerve to call her daughter such a name infront of others.. i dont know how i'd have reacted. i'd maybe talk it out with her like someone mentioned. or else just ignore her and grow a bit distant.

[NewPhillyGuy]

that's horrible! why do you think she would call you that??

[k_1971]

I think I'd be devastated. I think you need to sit down and have it out with her. before the feelings fester any further.

[littlestar]

I wonder if the fact she has never had a good relationship with her own mother results in the way she is towards me.

 

Her mother threw her out to live on the streets when she was only 13 years old and they NEVER speak to each other. She calls her mother a cold hard b!tch, an old bag, a witch, funny enough she calls her mother a sl*t as well!

[CaptainPlanet]

It's Xmas day here. My mother lives about 1500 miles from where i live. She has come home for Xmas. We spent it with her, my father, a close family friend and myself.

 

We were joking around before and i said to her "Mother any nice guys where you are?"

 

And she said plenty but they're looking for decent girls not little sl*ts like you.

 

This is not the first time she has said something like this to me in front of other people.

 

How would u feel if your mother said this to you?

 

Do i have a right to be angry?

 

What was the purpose of her saying this? Is it a reflection of herself!

 

I may not be perfect but i know for a fact she is messing with a married man in another country.

 

I don't really know. Are you promiscuous ? Sometimes people tell jokes when they're semi-serious as a way of getting a message accross. With women one of the old ways of discouraging them from sleeping around was to use humiliation. Especially in large groups. Sometimes parents feel they have some sort of responsibility. Even though they don't really do much to solve problems.

 

If that is not the case I'd just take it as a joke. My Dad says horrible stuff to me all the time. I usually reply with something equally nasty.

 

You could just made reference to married men and the fact you were after single ones not married like she was confused. I dunno how girls work.

[littlestar]

CP i am all for jokes but i am not sure about joking with insulting name calling.

[waveseer]

It would hurt my feelings if my mom called me names. Hopefully at that moment I would remember the time I called her names. I only did it once, but I did do it. She forgave me, so I'm hoping I'd forgive her. There is a reason I live 1200 miles away from her, it keeps these incidents to a minimum.

[CaptainPlanet]

CP i am all for jokes but i am not sure about joking with insulting name calling.

 

Why don't you ask your mother ? Was she drinking ? Is there any truth to what she says ?

 

Parents tend to put pressure on their kids to settle down and that often results in name calling. We dictate that these things should not happen but it is a part of human nature that they do. It is almost like the parents edging the offspring along to have kids of their own.

 

Sometimes they try to humiliate you into it. A lot of the time they do this to young girls. My relatives sometimes have done that to me, where they will ask if I have a girlfriends at gatherings and imply that I am gay when I say I do not. I can't think of a mother saying to a daughter such a thing. But I don't know what all people are like. Maybe it is just her way..

 

Have you thought about asking her ? If she replies something like yes because you sleep around all the time (which is none of he business anyway) you know that your mum is a bad person. She might not even know it hurts your feelings. You should speak to her about it.

[agent1607307371]

I wonder if the fact she has never had a good relationship with her own mother results in the way she is towards me.

 

Her mother threw her out to live on the streets when she was only 13 years old and they NEVER speak to each other. She calls her mother a cold hard b!tch, an old bag, a witch, funny enough she calls her mother a sl*t as well!

 

 

I would be very surprised if that wasn't the case - you do what you learn.

[Cadence_oO]

I'm sorry to say but a mother shouldn't use that word when referring to her daughter not even in a joking way.

I'd be very upset with my mother and wouldn't let go until she apologizes and tell me exactly why she called me that way.

[NowandZen]

Do you have a right to be angry? Sure. No one will deny that.

 

Do you WANT to be angry? Is that the person you want to be?

 

Her comment says nothing about you. It says a lot about her. It says she feels the need to judge, to condemn.

 

That kind of comment is only designed to wound. You can choose not to be wounded. You can pity her, instead, for the kind of anger and pain she has let her life become.

 

Stay strong.

[faolanblood]

My Mother has said similar things like that along with that i am dead to her. It use to really hurt me but I look were I am and I am no the one drinking and doing drugs we are both married yes but I am alot happier and I have never been unfaithful to my husband or any one I dated before I met him. For me it was easy I knew it was a lie and that I was not a * * * * not only did I dress well I never slept around. Still to hear your MOTHER of all people say some thing like that is not easy to take in at all. You should try and talk it out with her.

For the sake of my marriage and health we do not talk to eachother....I hope that you do ont reach that point though.

[Poppies]

Hi Little Star

 

We have mothers with similar characteristics although your mother is much more direct in her comments than mine! I think you've replied to one of my threads before.

 

And, no, it is not acceptable for a mother/parent to use this kind of word towards their child. I agree with NowandZen that these are very much issues to do with her.

It took me a long time and therapy to get to the point where I could stand up to my mother.......so, if I was in your situation, I would say to her calmly but very assertively that it is not acceptable for her to speak to you like this and that you don't wish to hear that kind of language again, and perhaps add please. And leave it at that.