This sounds bad, doesn't it?

[alteration]

I need some advice.

I've been with my BF for a little over a year. He is a recovering addict, has been in recovery for 5 years.

Everything was great in the beginning (isn't it always?)...he said when he was ready to have kids, he wanted it to be with me, etc.

 

Now he balks at committment. Says he's unsure of marriage and kids and all. I tell him this is fine, as we've only been together a year.

 

But now, it being Christmas eve, he has excluded me from his family activities, and refuses to take any part in mine. His answer: "I always get to see you...". Ouch. Made me feel like I was being too clingy for wanting to spend time with him on a freaking holiday (BTW, we didn't spend time together on Thanksgiving either, aggreeing to spend Christmas with each others' families instead).

 

Now the only thing we do together is hang out and watch TV. The last time we actually went out and did something he verbally attacked me and accused me of acting weird (I wasn't).

 

He attributes everything to stress. He doesn't like the holidays because he's surrounded by booze and parties and good times, and it just makes him want to relapse. So apparently having me there with him would add to his stress, even though I don't drink or do anything that I could see making him uncomfortable.

 

Sorry if this is scattered, but I don't know what to do. I've tried to be understanding of his situation, but now I'm starting to wonder if he's using his recovery as a front, an excuse for him to act wishy-washy. He blew off my friend's wedding (I was a bridesmaid), has not come out to see my family in several months, and the only other people we hang out with are his friends, not mine.

 

We have talked about this, but again, he always says it's stress and starts talking about the temptations he faces when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

 

What should I do? Thanks for any input.

[Boughs]

I think you should drop him. These are all bad signs and really doesn't need any delving into because you have VERY different feelings than him in regards to what a relationship needs to thrive.

[alteration]

Thanks...

I think I'm just still in that stupid phase where I know a break-up is very possible, but I'm all "Oh, but we usually have such a good time," "Oh, but I love it when he does this..". It's so stupid.

[catfeeder]

After reading about women who are trapped in marriage or dependent with children, this one is easy in comparison. You've got zero to keep you tied to this guy--so why settle for this?

 

Don't you want and deserve someone who is crazy in love with you and wants to treat you that way? I'd dump Mr. Zero, and go there.

 

In your corner.