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Just thinking how this time the last 2 years I was with my bf and how I thought everything was so great and I thought he felt the same. I sometimes wonder if he was ever for real or was he just pretending. I remember last year we were talking about getting married when the Spring/Summer came up and he was saying how happy he was and how it was his best Christmas he ever had because he could spend it with me.

 

I'm not sure what's up in his life, but he mentioned being with someone new a few months ago, not sure if he is still with her or not, but I imagine if he is, he's probably doing the same stuff he did with her he did with me this time last year. Probably sweet talking her and everything.

 

 

Even though more time is moving in, it does hurt that he can just jump to the next one like I was replaced and not look back. Wish I meant more to him where he atleast looked back and missed some of the good times.

 

Anyone else feeling a bit down thinking about the past? Not feeling like breaking NC or anything..just thinking too much and letting your thoughts get the best of you? I'm just feeling sad I guess.

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I am feeling the same way as you....the past two Christmas holidays were amazing because of my boyfriend. And now he is with another girl, and like you, I feel crushed and hurt thinking about it. So I try not to think about it, but it is really hard not to when you wish that you were the girl he is spending the holidays with. I have thought about them doing all of the things that we did together, not just with the holidays, but in general...going to the same places he and I would go, the things we would do. And it hurts, and is frusterating because most of all the stuff we did was my idea and my time and thought put into our relationship. But everytime I think about it, I feel like I am taking a gazillion steps back in my healing process...

 

So, you are not alone with this feeling. I am right there with you.

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the first xmas w/o the ex is hard - i'm going through it now too, and i think back on how great a time i had w/ his family in years past. thinking of him now with his family w/o me and wondering if he misses me, etc. but i realized today, on xmas eve, now is not the time to be lamenting about past. now is the time to be happy with what you have now, in the present, right in front of you, the friends and family that you are spending xmas with this year. don't let the ex ruin YOUR xmas and empower yourself knowing that you can enjoy the holidays without them in your life!

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