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rants and raves on this eve from somebody drinking it away


john4321
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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well christmas eve, what better time to be drunk and alone. just thought i would come here and write, no need for comment but if you would like go ahead.2 years ago this time my ex left me, no details tonight, but i cannot blame her. we went through a nasty divorce and are now talking again, ther is still some friendship, we were together over 20 years. we grew up together and ,shared everything together, she means everything to me.but i sit alone lol.

 

after 2 years of hard work by both of us, especially me, i discovered what was wrong with me.i went through hell, therapy, and help from friends.i finally get better, lost all my anger , and have a secon chance at life. and it is great.i discovered what was wrong with me and i was healed.

 

now my ex will tell you i have changed, that i am better now. she realized the personal tragedy i went through and now will tell you i have finally dealt with it, and i am healed. she knows it was this crap that got in the way and it is gone now.

 

all the way through the divorce she would send me stuff how she wished we could get back together, and how much she missed me. how she wanted the good stuff we had, how she really missed us.she would call me when she had personal problems, and i would still be there, happy to help. she would tell me how much i always helped her, she has pshycological problems, enough said and how i get her through.

 

well i am back to my old self, everything is good and i want to share it with her, think maybe there is a chance. wow what a fool! we get together and have a great time, we stay up all night talking, up to 4am. she tells me to stay because she does not want the night to end. wow this is good. we connect in a way we have not in years, it was great, and she says so.

 

but what do i get, well she has met a new guy. dated him six weeks, he is unemployed, lived at a friends house until it was sold. moved to mommy and daddy's place in florida. 51,still no job, living off unemployment , has nothing to offer, just a party good time guy. and they have a long distance relationship. nice huh. a 50 dollar millionaire lol.a bull* * * * artist. and instead of staying if he cared so much he left her. sounds like he cared, had to get to the warm weather to party.

 

and it gets better , she cannot tell him about her friends, about her mental problems, or about what is real in life. great relationship. she just holds on to the good times they had and thinks that is a basis for a relationship, even as she lies to him. cannot be truthful and this is the basis for a real relationship. to not only deny your friends, but who you really are.

 

amazing, so in this drunk state i say the hell with it. i hate to give up on 20 plus years but you know, it is her loss. let her quit her job and move down there. live with mommy and daddy and find a job. see his face when he finds out she has issues and see if he is for real on that. see if good time guy has what it takes to be a man. let her not have a job and medical benefits that she needs so badly, have no support form her friends and family, or me, and be stuck when mr good time runs.

 

time to let it go, met a good women tonight, and maybe it will work maybe it won't. i don't care anymore, i am a good man, would take care of her like nobody else could, help her with all her problems, accpet her no matter what. well if she wants good times she can have them, but when they run out she will have nothing. be left alone with her problems and sad. too bad for her.

 

she wants do deny me, and deny we connect and fit, let her. she wants to deny her feelings for me, fine. it is her loss, time for me to take the gift i was given by God at healing and a second chance, and find somebody who appreciates it.

 

well just some ranting, thanks for listening

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I am enjoying Rose Tequila and caviar right now.

The guy I dated and whom I considered a close close close friend spent the last 3 months saying on he knew what he was getting me for xmas... (starbucks gift card because im an addict)

Just a little gift.

I sent him a gift yesterday. He got it today.

His email to me

"Thanks for the gift. I didnt get you anything so you really didnt have to, but thanks !"

This is a guy who bragged how he the best gift giver and told me last week how he got his puppy early xmas gifts, his neighbors, friends, secretary, godson etc. Dude knows th ehellish year I had and that Ive spent hundreds of hours helping HIM with his problems....

 

He even asked me for input on one gift.

 

Im just in shock.

 

And to top it off my whole family is fubar'd ... either suing each other over family trust, out of the country or dead !

 

So yes Im just being nive to me and sitting here slightly stunned.

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do not hate please, this was not about hate or anger, just about life. it is about sadness and lost opportunity, and lost love. and this night was the most romantic night with my ex, and i miss that. she is a wonderful women, i am just so sorry i ever lost her, that i found myself and it was too late. i will never find what i had with her, she is my true love, but i guess it is time to find something different. so let your hate and anger go, it only hurts yourself

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do not hate please, this was not about hate or anger, just about life. it is about sadness and lost opportunity, and lost love. and this night was the most romantic night with my ex, and i miss that. she is a wonderful women, i am just so sorry i ever lost her, that i found myself and it was too late. i will never find what i had with her, she is my true love, but i guess it is time to find something different. so let your hate and anger go, it only hurts yourself

 

i dont have any hate. just pure shock.

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yes it is rants, but hate and anger only hurt ourselves. and i do not mind anybody posting there thoughts here, that is what we need to do. violet i can understand your shock, you were screwed. i know what it is like to have family problems on top of all else. all i can say is Merry Christmas, hope that helps

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I'm gonna have me a hot cocoa and celebrate christmas eve. I have only raves this year...

 

- I'm alive and well.

- My family is well.

- My house is warm.

- The electricity is still on.

- I don't have to work tomorrow unless there's an emergency.

- There's nobody here being nasty to me.

- I have enough food to eat and fresh water to drink.

- I have you guys.

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spent abut 150 dollars buying my ex varius things for x-mas.. just to show her i care.. i even told her in advance, so i wouldnt surprise her to much..i didnt expect anyhthing from her because she doesnt have a lot of money.. but maybe a card?

 

but i got nothing.. not even a card.. not even a 2 dollar freaking card..

 

but she says she cares abut me.. yeah right..

 

actions speak loader then words!

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i would tell you do not worry about her actions, yes it sucks she did nothing, but what you did was a good thing. you do not but her things to receive anything back, but to show her you cared, and you did that. what she did with it you are not responsible for. your actions were that of a good person, do not let her actions diminish that.

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