craig13 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 No, this is not a joke. My gf and I were together for almost 6 months until last week I developed a cold sore. The day that i felt it coming on I texted her and said "hey babe, I think I'm getting a cold sore, that means no kissing for a while! When I saw her after that she started acting all distant and she just seemed grossed out. I explained to her that I sometimes have breakouts and its from the Herpes 1 virus, though it is not life threatening or anything and that it is very common, in fact almost 80% of the population has oral herpes but doesn't know it. I told her that I think I got it from an ex gf who mislead me to believe that it's okay to kiss her when the sore just turns into a scab. I found out later that you're not supposed to kiss anyone who gets cold sores until they're completely gone. My gf got really really uncomfortable and said that she can't handle being with someone with an STD and that it will affect our sex life. I tried telling her that it's not the end of the world and I'm always careful and that even if worst comes to worst and she does contract it, it's not anything dangerous, it will only cause cold sores. But she eventually just broke it off with me. I'm devastated. Is this shallow of her or what? She is the first person I've been with since I've had outbreaks of cold sores and now I'm afraid that people in the future are not going to want to date me. I didn't tell her at the beginning that I have outbreaks because I didn't think of it to be a big deal, cold sores are very common. I just don't know what to do . Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I think she is being ridiculous. 80% is accurate as far as I know. Tons of people get it as children. Good luck to her finding someone who never has had a cold sore. She needs to educate herself and grow up, IMO (IF that is the real reason for breaking up--she may have been using it as an excuse for another reason). Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I think she is being ridiculous. 80% is accurate as far as I know. Tons of people get it as children. Good luck to her finding someone who never has had a cold sore. She needs to educate herself and grow up, IMO (IF that is the real reason for breaking up--she may have been using it as an excuse for another reason). I'd agree it was an excuse to hide the real reason. And a cold sore is not an STD - that's just pathetic and ignorant!! Sorry this happened to you - but take comfort in knowing that you're no longer dating someone so ignorant. Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Well to be honest with you, cold sores can translate to genital herpes via oral sex. It isn't the most common form of transmission but it CAN happen. One of my friends got genital herpes when her partner had a cold sore. That being said, yes I'd say she overreacted a bit. If she's not right for you, it's better you know now and not later. Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Honestly I understand. I saw my sister, then my mom with one, then my mom and my sisters bf with one the same day. I just can't eat off my moms plates, drink from her cups, use silverware, I'm freakn paranoid!!! I know it sounds childish but I got some major OCD going on here. I think she may just have a fear of getting an STD. Link to comment
craig13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 Well to be honest with you, cold sores can translate to genital herpes via oral sex. It isn't the most common form of transmission but it CAN happen. Other than that though, yes I'd say she overreacted a bit. I would never give her oral sex when I have an outbreak. Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Herpes passes inbetween outbreaks also. It sheds. Link to comment
craig13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 For the people who say you understand, am I just supposed to be single forever then? It's a little ridiculous to dislike someone over something they can't control isn't it? My ex had cold sores (the person I think I got it from) and I never for one second thought of leaving her for it. I wasn't even afraid of contracting it from her if it ever did happen. I was willing to take the risk because I loved her and wanted to be with her. Since when did people become so shallow? Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Herpes passes inbetween outbreaks also. It sheds. Yes I've heard that too, exactly why I am so freakn paranoid. Now going to a restaurant and asking for plastic silverware, now that is over reacting. Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 For the people who say you understand, am I just supposed to be single forever then? It's a little ridiculous to dislike someone over something they can't control isn't it? My ex had cold sores (the person I think I got it from) and I never for one second thought of leaving her for it. I wasn't even afraid of contracting it from her if it ever did happen. I was willing to take the risk because I loved her and wanted to be with her. Since when did people become so shallow? I don't want to be mean, but there is actually sites for people who have certain things that can be transmitted, to meet other people. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Count yourself lucky that you only wasted 6 months on this person. Now you are free to find someone who is decent! Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Lol. I think everyone should be somewhat germ cautious in general redhearts That being said ... OP, what you have isn't the worst thing I've ever heard of. Let her go, believe me, someone less paranoid will come along. For future dates, I would simply advise that you learn ALL about it so you can protect your partners from harm. Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Ya maybe not spring it up when your about to get one, but early on so you don't invest/waste any time on someone who will run like the wind. Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Crazyabout - I dont think this is a decency issue honestly.. I think the girl is justified in having concern for her own health.. Sounds like this is more or less a compatibility issue. Link to comment
craig13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 I don't want to be mean, but there is actually sites for people who have certain things that can be transmitted, to meet other people. You yourself can have it and not know it, you know. It's very common. It's not like AIDs or something. It's not life-threatening. I just don't get people's repulsion by this. I find it a little ridiculous to have to go on special dating services because I get cold sores. Wow. Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Where'd you get that 80% number..??? Out of curiosity I'm asking.. when talking about medical statistics, 80% is an extremely high # of people Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Maybe letting your girlfriends know a bit sooner would save you some trouble. Personally, I think it's a great method for keeping away the riff raff. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Crazyabout - I dont think this is a decency issue honestly.. I think the girl is justified in having concern for her own health.. Sounds like this is more or less a compatibility issue. A cold sore is hardly a health concern. It's flat out over reacting. Anyone who gets up in arms about the health concerns of a cold sore is out to lunch. IMO. Link to comment
craig13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 Crazyabout - I dont think this is a decency issue honestly.. I think the girl is justified in having concern for her own health.. Sounds like this is more or less a compatibility issue. Okay, I get that people are concerned about their health and whatnot, and she had a right to be. But I mean, what if we were married and 10 years down the road I contracted this? Or what if I always had it but never showed signs till 10 years later? Would you leave the love of your life because of this? I just think it's such a simple and small thing to have a break-up over. Especially since she told me in the past that I'm her perfect guy and since I didn't do anything else wrong (that I know of) and expressed my love towards her every day. I just dont get it. How can you say you love someone uncondtionally then break up over them cause of a cold sore? Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 You yourself can have it and not know it, you know. It's very common. It's not like AIDs or something. It's not life-threatening. I just don't get people's repulsion by this. I find it a little ridiculous to have to go on special dating services because I get cold sores. Wow. I know for a fact I don't have it. I been tested and I don't have one single thing. Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Sno - It's a very real health concern. Having a virus can make women especially more prone to cervical and other types of cancers... She can be in danger of passing cold sores to other partners genitally, as I stated above... or she could be in danger of having it passed to her genitally through contact w/ the OP, whether he had a breakout or not. Link to comment
craig13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 Maybe letting your girlfriends know a bit sooner would save you some trouble. Personally, I think it's a great method for keeping away the riff raff. True. I guess I've learned that. I just didn't think that it's such a big deal. Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Okay, I get that people are concerned about their health and whatnot, and she had a right to be. But I mean, what if we were married and 10 years down the road I contracted this? Or what if I always had it but never showed signs till 10 years later? Would you leave the love of your life because of this? I just think it's such a simple and small thing to have a break-up over. Especially since she told me in the past that I'm her perfect guy and since I didn't do anything else wrong (that I know of) and expressed my love towards her every day. I just dont get it. How can you say you love someone uncondtionally then break up over them cause of a cold sore? Did you ever ask? Link to comment
Kalika Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Craig - someone who loves you will fight like hell to keep you. Believe me. Link to comment
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