Woman i work with has huge warts all over face, feel awkward

[chocolate-cake]

This situation is really getting to me, i know that anyone has a right to work where they want and looks are really not important, but i work with a woman who has huge warts all over her face and harms she has no normal skin, i work in a hospital and the patients often look phased and awkard around the lady. she is is a nice person and i am trying not to to be judgemental but i feel i dont know where to look, obviusly i look in the face but i get really distracted, when we were sitting in the lounge room with patients there was an advert on TV about face disfigurments and she looked really worried. I know she doesnt need to explain to me whats up but i feel like there is an elephantin the room, has anyone experienced anything like this??

[waveseer]

Sometime when it's just you and her, ask her about it. Give her your listening ear and try to be understanding. Afterwards, she will feel better and you will look at her differently.

[Karmageddon]

How long have you worked with her and why would you be judgemental over something she has no control over? How would you wish to be treated if the situation was reversed?

[chocolate-cake]

im not being judgemental and i know its not her fault, i just feel awkard

[civilservant]

Its easy to ask those question Karmegeddon, but I can see her point here. I'd look at it like this. Beneath the face is a human being, take time to get to know her if you can because she will no doubt appreciate it.

 

From what you said she already has issues, so I wouldn't broach the subject unless she does. If she wants to tell she will, if not that's her choice.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Just treat her like a normal work colleague - make normal eye contact, don't react to her face, and don't raise it unless she has indicated she wants to confide in you.

 

How would you feel if it were you? I'd wanted to be treated like a work colleague, and that my face was irrelevant.

[Karmageddon]

Its easy to ask those question Karmegeddon, but I can see her point here. I'd look at it like this. Beneath the face is a human being, take time to get to know her if you can because she will no doubt appreciate it.

 

From what you said she already has issues, so I wouldn't broach the subject unless she does. If she wants to tell she will, if not that's her choice.

 

I was asking b/c she said she was trying not to be judgemental & by asking the simple question it boils down to her just feeling awkward. The reason I asked how long she had worked with her is because usually once the novelty of something like what this woman has (a disfigurement) will wear off once you get to know her and spend time with her, to where you don't even notice it anymore.

 

It lead me to believe that they havent worked together for to long, but my point in asking was two fold. And if at this point if they have been working together for some years & she still feels awkward around her then IMO I feel like she needs to make an effort to get to know her, so she can let that awkwardness go.

[civilservant]

Not to answer on CCs behalf, but I believe your're right in thinking its a matter of weeks they've been working together.

[chocolate-cake]

its onlya month, sorry if ur offended n think i am judgmental but really not, i wouldt work where i did if this ws the case

[Karmageddon]

its onlya month, sorry if ur offended n think i am judgmental but really not, i wouldt work where i did if this ws the case

 

Nope, I don't think that at all, but you did mention it, so I just wanted to clairify. The awkwardness will pass, people can be horribly cruel, so I can only imagine her being gun shy around new people. So why don't you be the one to break the ice & get to know her?

[dreamwarrior]

I am sure she wishes she didn't have these warts either...nobody wants to be disfigured...If it were me I would befriend the lady and get to know her and perhaps after time if she brings it up then perhaps if your a nurse see if you can ask a doctor to try and help her. This is a hard call because people are very sensitive about their looks at any age and perhaps this is a condition that is painful for her to talk about.

 

Just be a good and understanding friend.

[shikashika]

I most definitely would never ask her about it. She probably has rude people asking her about it anyway. I never understand ( and I see this all time time) why people think they can ask questions about someone's appearance. I've heard people ask other people such things as,

 

"Why do you have a big birthmark on your hand?"

 

"What is that rash all over your back?"

 

"What is that scar from?"

 

It just makes me cringe, like fingernails scratching a blackboard, when I hear people asking questions like that. There are so many other questions to ask someone, such as "Do you like the foreign films?" or "Do you like sushi?" instead of asking them about why they look the way they do.

 

It's something she can't help, maybe it's not warts at all, but something like skin cancer or neurofibromatosis, or a million other things.

 

I think you need to realise that she probably feels more awkward about it than you do.