Been on 4 dates, is this normal or is she just not too interested?

[Chillins99]

I was set up with this girl through mutual friends. We e-mailed each other a few times, spoke on the phone etc and then met a few weeks ago. We've been on 4 dates, including dinner..she even made me dinner at her place most recently. We have kissed a bit, nothing more than that. When we talk on the phone it's for long periods of time and we seem to get along well. She laughs and sort of alludes to things in terms of us dating.

 

While she seems to like me, she also acts ambivalent to an extent. I always initiate contact with her first, she never calls, txts or e-mails me unless it's in response. I also asked her if she wanted to get together this weekend (after xmas) on whichever day worked. She was wishy washy saying that she may be hanging out with a friend but not sure, can I let you know etc. Last week she had her teeth worked on (which I believe) and was tired and cranky so she didn't want to come out the night we were both available. That's understandable. Maybe it's me, but I would think if a girl just started seeing a guy and was interested, and she didn't have set plans a week or so out, she would make plans to be with him. And after a few dates I would think she could initiate contact with me in some way, heck even a quick e-mail ot text.

 

Or maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing?

 

Merry Xmas.

[waveseer]

I will answer, I don't know. I would wait until after the holidays and then try again.

[ghost69]

i would tell her to get in contact with me when she had some free time and maybe (make sure you accent this word) maybe we can get together. i'd be out looking for another option in the meantime. let her give some.

[Nutz]

You're demonstrating wussy/needy traits. Women want men to lead and you're not doing it. When she brought you over and made you dinner, she was likely hoping to get laid. You failed to pull the trigger and now she's distancing herself from you to pad her ego.

 

Stop all contact for a few days and let her reinitiate things. Otherwise you're going to friend-zone your butt, or get dropped completely.

[wagner]

Hard to tell where her mind is at.

 

Sometimes, early on you just gotta play the game.

 

People want what they don't have. So back off a bit, be less attainable. Don't call her for several days, hopefully she will take the initiative and call you first.

 

Change the pattern. Build her interest. Don't be a doormat.

[Ammy]

It is a bit difficult to read. I agree with the others though, leave it for a bit, and let her get back to you. Trust me, if a girl is interested, she will eventually initiate something...

 

Ammy