So, it's been eight months...

[Laurel23]

Hi, I'm new to this site.This WILL be long so I hope no one loses interest. My relationship ended eight months ago, and sadly I'm still mourning the break up. My ex and I broke up in April because I wasn't what he wanted. I knew (let's call him M) for 3 years and it took him all those years to realize that I wasn't up to par. M told me that he wanted his girl to "look good, dress good and talk good" ( yeah I know, bad grammar). I thought I was all those things, but I guess I was wrong. I allowed M to ruin my self-esteem and I began to believe I wasn't good for anyone.

 

For the whole summer I was so vulnerable and lonely that I tried to keep in touch with M through email. M said it was okay to keep in touch, but whenever I did he wouldn't respond. So, I emailed M and told him that if he didn't want to be bothered with me, he should have been honest. So, he emailed me back and still told me it was okay to k.i.t. With me being a glutton for punishment, I continued with the emails and he still ignored me. It was getting closer to his birthday and again with me being a glutton and too nice, I decided to send him a b-day e-card. I also decided that would be last time I would go out of my way to communicate to him. I needed to try and move on and at least save what little dignity I had, which I have to admit was VERY little. I wished him a happy birthday and I hoped that he would have a great day. Of all the times I tried to k.i.t. and make myself look like a fool more and more every day, he finally emailed me and thanked me for the card! Now, some women might feel good about what little acknowledgment they received from their exes, I on the other hand was pissed. I allowed myself to be used. I couldn't do it anymore and decided it was time to move forward.

 

A couple of months went by and I started to become happy again. I was laughing more and my thoughts about M began to decrease. I developed a crush on someone else, so things were looking good. But, happiness sort of diminished when M decided to email me out of the blue. He wanted to be friends on FB (Once we broke up, it hurt too much to have him as a friend, so I deleted him). I was really stupid because I added him. I emailed him and asked him why he wanted to friends on FB, and his was reply was, "First of all, you were the one who deleted me on FB. I'm still cool with you despite what happened." Yep, that was his response. I emailed him back and told him that his way of being cool with me was backwards, and continued to ask more questions, but in the end, he ignored me as usual LOL. I still had M on my FB friend's list, but in the end I deleted him again, because we weren't cool and plus, I didn't want him to know what was happening in my personal life. Ever since he decided to "pop up" out of the blue, I haven't been the same since. I thought I was finally getting over him, but now I'm more depressed and mad at myself for allowing him to harm my spirit. My sleeping cycle is way off and those crying spells are back. Me & him go to the same college, and I'm frightened at the possibility of seeing him again. I just need some advice on how to finally get over him, because it will be year soon and I shouldn't be feeling this way. I'm sorry for this being so long. Nobody else will listen..

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If the college is a big place you may not see him again. If you do all you have to do is be polite and nothing more. You don't have to have any conversations with him. It is frustrating when an ex pops back into your life with no intentions of doing anything more than just waving their hands and saying "see, look I am here, so there" It will just take time to get over it. Just realize that you did everything you could and he is no longer worthy of your time and tears. By the way, what does k.i.t mean?

[Honey Pumpkin]

KIT - KEEPING IN TOUCH (I think!)

 

Awww, honey - your story sucks. I understand how you feel. But you're doing fabulously well, you've deleted him from FB, you've stopped contacting him - you've made huge strides forward and you should feel really proud of yourself.

 

Make a date perhaps with the guy you were crushing on?

[Laurel23]

Thanks for the replies Crazyaboutdogs and Honey Pumpkin. K.I.T. means keeping in touch, lol. Sorry about that. The opportunity with the crush didn't work out, so were just friends. As for my college, it's a private college and it's not that big of a place. Also, me and my ex are in the same field (Art and Design) so last semester (Fall) I saw him and let's just say I got pretty nervous and went into the nearest bathroom...I was that pathetic. I just think it's sad that I'm still hurting from the break up. He was my first relationship, just plain first in everything and I'm just finding it hard to move on...