Sn0man Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 So I have this friend who wants me to take nude pics of her. We've kinda hooked up a few times over the years, but I never follow through with her because she's outside my dating age range (she's 11 years older then me, still attractive, but not the ideal mother of my kids). Anyhow, I was out with her this eve and she mentioned that since she doesn't have any female friends here (locally) that could do this, if I could. I find it a little awkward. Being male, i'm all about it - my hormones won't let me say no. But she's a friend, who i've hooked up with, kinda sorta. And though I really love her as a person, I don't want to put myself in a situation with her where I don't trust myself not to take advantage of the situation. Not too sure what to do. I'd be happy to take the pics on one hand, and on the other hand, i'm worried that certain scenarios may come into play where I just KNOW I won't be able to control myself. What to do??? LOL this seems like such a stupid thing to ask.. Link to comment
ladylol1234 Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Take em! If something happens, let it...If u know what I mean... Link to comment
redhearts Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Know that your dealing with a not so smart person. Its never a good idea to have naked pics of yourself. Link to comment
Creative Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 This is totally a problem. Unfortunately, you'll have to get pass this somehow and grow from this We're totally concerned, update us on how it went We're so sorry for the catastrophe you're facing. Know that your dealing with a not so smart person. Its never a good idea to have naked pics of yourself. In these situations, I find myself more concerned for the girls than they themselves, so now I just let it be. Maybe some of them just have a different outlook in life. Link to comment
ladylol1234 Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 If she wants naked pix that's her business... Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 well, it is up to you, I am almost sure if you take the pix, it will end in sex! I even think she wants it to seduce you! So if you think she might want this to go furthur than just sex dont pursue her, if you think she'll be ok with just a hook up go for it! Link to comment
ladylol1234 Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Jus do it! how many men on this site would even have that opportunity..lol* U seem to be very, very lucky! Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I'm not sure I see a problem here, if you take the pictures, provided that she isn't trying to use it as "bait" to get you to sleep with her because she's carrying a torch for you. You say you've hooked up with her before, and what were the consequences of that? Was she disappointed that it couldn't go further than just a hook-up? Do you feel she would like things to develop with you and wants to date you more seriously? Do you think she's hoping another hook-up will occur? Will there be any "strings attached" if there are? If you suspect or know that she's got these kinds of feelings (has her heart invested in some way), I'd say you've got two choices: take the pictures and suck it up, your urges CAN be controlled if you really want to control them and keep your mission in mind, with your only titillation in this being as a voyeur...OR, be absolutely positive that she doesn't have some other agenda wherein you'd be hurting her heart if the film-making session turned carnal. If you think this could just turn into another hook-up with no emotional fallout on either side, then I don't see why you shouldn't take the pictures for her, if that's what she really wants (I think her reasons are irrelevant to this discussion, unless it involves her having to make an excuse to sleep with you.) Link to comment
civilservant Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 My vote for post of the year ^ Link to comment
ladylol1234 Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 i don't see how someone could turn something so simple into something very, very complicated...lol^^ I'm with u! lol Link to comment
Umlunguusa Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I find it a little awkward. Being male, i'm all about it - my hormones won't let me say no What to do??? LOL this seems like such a stupid thing to ask.. wait, so you are saying you need to do this, because you're a guy? am I the only guy who can resist women, and not be seduced? --and I'm 18! Yet I can always resist a woman's charms...my penis and my brain do not work in unison. So it should be obvious what you need to do Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 This is totally a problem. Unfortunately, you'll have to get pass this somehow and grow from this We're totally concerned, update us on how it went We're so sorry for the catastrophe you're facing. ROFLMAO - nice, very nice Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Ya see, that's where the problem is. When we hooked up the first time (i'll mention now that I have never slept with her), I told her that the only reason I wouldn't go anywhere with her is because I want kids someday, and she doesn't. Now, normally, I wouldn't even be talking about this kinda stuff right off the bat, but she's, like I said, a friend. So if I were to go with it, it'd be for the long term. She's totally holding a torch for me - has been for years. Even tonight she slipped out that she'd have my kids - I forget what I said that precipitated this. I'm certain she's hoping a hookup would occur, which, it likely would. My only concern is that she would then expect more, which, at this time, i'm not willing to offer. Hence the conundrum. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Well, now I'm confused as to what you mean by "hookup". I was assuming by your previous "hookups" that you had sex with her. Now you're saying you didn't? So what do you mean by you had "hookups" with her, before? And now she's hoping a "hookup" would occur, which does mean sex? I think this needs clarity. It's sounding to me that she's using this as a way to seduce you, hoping for more. In which case, I think this is really loaded, from an ethical stanpoint. So the question is, do you really want to do this for the reason that you want to do a favor for her as a friend? Or do you want to do this because you wouldn't mind the chance to get into her pants (even if you don't want a relationship with her) and this would be a convenient segue? Because if you truly want to just do this as a favor to her, then I think you could manage to keep your pants on, if you keep your focus on what it's about and that she is not the mother of your children. However, I wouldn't suggest it now that you've said she feels the way she does -- for HER sake. Because she is in for a huge disappointment if you just do it as the favor this is being cracked up to be. Edit: and if you wind up losing your mind and jumping her bones, then you've really gotten yourself into a pickle, because you've crossed a line, and have set both of you up for emotional trouble. So either way, it's not going to turn out well, I think. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Well, when we've 'hooked up' before it's just been a making out session -I've never let it get any further than that, simply because I respect her and because I just can't see her that way. Trust me, i've tried to, but somehow I just can't see a friend in that light. Using it as a way to seduce me? Yep, I would assume as much. Whether she's going to want more afterwards, well, not even I can say that with any conviction, but it's 'highly probable'. I'm seriously considering doing this for her as a favor - but it leads right back to the original problem: If I do this as a favor, I don't think i'll have the conviction to stop myself from going further with it. I'm just not strong enough to take naked pictures of women who want to sleep with me and then just go home without having some nooky first. lol. So I think, i'm going to have to find some way to not do this. Even though little Sn0man is telling me to. Link to comment
civilservant Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I dont understand the problem here. If you don't want to sleep with her, DONT. If you feel taking the photos will lead to this and you won't resistant, then DECLINE. Yeah she may be hurt, but if you explain that you don't mean to hurt her, but you wouldn't feel comfortable she'll have to respect it. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 >>She's totally holding a torch for me - has been for years. This is obviously not just a request for pictures... she is trying to seduce you and the nakedness sets up the scenario. She doesn't want to come out and say 'let's f---' so instead she uses the euphemism of 'taking pictures.' I honestly think if she's been carrying a torch, you need to take pity on her and NOT do this. If you have no intention of ever being with her or dating her, then it's time you let her know that in no uncertain terms so that she goes and finds someone who does want to date her. At 40, she has very little time left to have kids if she wants them (and it may already be too late), so she needs to quite wasting time dandling after you. So tell her you're flattered she thought of you, but she probably should get one of her DATES to take naked pictures, as you're just friends and it would be kind of weird for you to do, since you two aren't dating. Then i'd make a point of cooling off the friendship a bit so she doesn't keep hoping that you'll one day take her seriously, when obviously you don't. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 So tell her you're flattered she thought of you, but she probably should get one of her DATES to take naked pictures, as you're just friends and it would be kind of weird for you to do, since you two aren't dating. Thats a good way to put it to her! Thanks! Link to comment
blackgnat Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 I agree with BSBH-it seems like a pretty obvious ploy to seduce you. For you to be wowed by her nakedness and get it on with her. Why does she even want the naked pictures? What is she going to do with them? Can't you do a "There's something about Mary" thing and just masturbate before you meet up with her? Then, theoretically, you won't be tempted beyond control to have sex with her.... Link to comment
ladylol1234 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 So r u hookin up with her? Link to comment
Shyguy24 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Hey go ahead , if she wants you to you must respect that. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 So I decided not to take the pics. It was just too awkward. Plus I didn't want to give her a chance to seduce me, as i'm just not interested in her that way and I didn't want to lead her on. Thanks to all for your advice! Sn0man Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 It was a pretty lame attempt at seduction on her part, I must say. The plot was mighty thin on that one. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Know that your dealing with a not so smart person. Its never a good idea to have naked pics of yourself. Just because she wants naked pictures doesn't make her stupid or "not so smart".. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Know that your dealing with a not so smart person. Its never a good idea to have naked pics of yourself. as long as you don't send them to people, what is the big deal Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.