I can't do it anymore!

[SugarHoneyIcedTea]

VENT..

 

I know that I have to move on, and I know this is for the best for the both of us. I just can't. I don't want to think that our relationship was a waste of my time, I don't want to believe that this is going to end up like my past relationships because I fought so hard to make sure that it would never. Now it has.

 

Right now I am desperately trying to stop calling his phone like I have been doing for the past few hours. All I have got were a few "f--- you's", but nothing more. I lost the goal of what I was trying to accomplish somewhere around the 40th call. Now I am just drained. I can't help but feel that there is more to why I am doing this to myself, but I am fighting to believe that my love for him won't let him go.

 

He's not who I fell in love with anymore, he's cold and harsh. I just feel so un-wanted and unappreciated. I feel like if I was a little smarter, a little skinnier, and a little prettier - I wouldn't have to go through this, he wouldn't be treating me as if I meant nothing. I feel like nothing and I just don't feel good enough.

 

If he really wants to me to leave then why did he show up, unexpectedly, at my house yesterday. Why was he trying so hard to make sure I didn't forget about him and all the cute little things he loves to do for me? I just don't understand.. I am so confused, so lost. He held me yesterday, he stared into my eyes and he read my soul. Now he wants nothing to do with me all over again. Where do I turn to now? Why can't I just accept that I am nothing to him? He's never coming back. Why is it so hard to move on?

[Sn0man]

The more you try to connect with him - the further he is going to pull away. You need to back off and give him, and more importantly, yourself, some room to breathe.

[waveseer]

Take care of yourself, nobody else can do it for you.

[catfeeder]

The more you try to connect with him - the further he is going to pull away. You need to back off and give him, and more importantly, yourself, some room to breathe.

 

I agree. There are articles all over this place that explain the benefits of No Contact. The more you panic and try to reach him, the more determined he will become to avoid you. Nobody tolerates being forced, and it ruins your opportunity to be missed.

 

Hang in there. Everybody on this planet who's ever loved enough understands how awful this feels--you're in good company.

 

In your corner.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

This kind of paniced phoning never accomplishes your intent. You're just in a fit of abandonment and fear, and it won't accomplish anything. If he wanted to answer, he'd do it on the 1st or 2nd ring, so it is more about you DEMANDING to talk to him, and him asserting you don't control him by not answering.

 

You need to take this out of the realm of paniced behavior and deal with this rationally. I know that is hard, but you won't feel better til you get a grip.

 

First, does he only come over for sex now? and otherwise ignore you? If so, stop seeing him and tell him you don't want that. You want to either sit down and talk and resolve your problems, or else it is time to stop seeing each other (and you need to break contact and stop letting him in and calling him).

 

these kind of feelings: ' I feel like if I was a little smarter, a little skinnier, and a little prettier - I wouldn't have to go through this, he wouldn't be treating me as if I meant nothing. I feel like nothing and I just don't feel good enough.' are best dealt with by going to counseling. those are self esteem issues that really have nothign to do with him, but your own image of yourself and perhaps childhood issues.

 

So you if can't get a grip, then consider counseling. Also, don't let him just come over for booty calls as that only stirs you up and makes you feel worse. If you want to talk to him, meet him out somewhere neutral (not in your house where you might have sex), and say what you need to say. If he won't work on it with you, then you need to recognize it may be time to let go, and work on letting go rather than desperately clawing at him for contact.