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if 98% of someone is awseome can 2% be a dealbreaker?


k8s

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hiya all - interested in posing a question to the ENA's. If you had being seeing someone (a month in this case) and 98% of them was awesome - they had their own lives, gave space, had a great job, independent life, studied, invested, worked out had great friends and social life etc...and you considered them a great smart and intelligent person (in my case a woman) - should this person (me) do one thing kinda dumb (too much xmas cheer alcohol) could that 2% be a deal breaker? Now i have posted on my tough love situation already so I am not necessarily referring to just this just trying to get clarity for my imperfections for later reference in trying to establish my patterns of mistakes, but um yeah maybe im also referring to this to be honest?

 

I could go into detail but probably no point whats done is done - just wondering whether a healthy (man) could see past one error in a month of dating and see the greatness of someone or could a red flag offer enough to question the whole thing and run. I really consider myself a well oiled machine after lots of self work except for my faults I know exist, so I am somewhat punishing myself over an error mentally.

 

Hope this makes sense - I tend to always mess things up but do we all being human trying to get it right if you know what I mean? I am only used to men not treating me well/right who can't commit etc of late so I am a bit confused of how it is in the normal world of dating?

 

Merry xmas all and thans for your support over this year

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I'd say it depends if the relevant person also 'measures' the mistake as a 2% category. This is a vague answer, I find it hard to answer to a question where it is not clear to me what the mistake was that the relevant other should overlook. By stating that you think it's 2%, you seem to already decide that it's a small thing, what if the other disagrees?

 

Just a tip: post a link to the other post if that post gives the background to this question

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Can you deal with the 2%?

In relationships, you have to take the good with the bad. If the bad is not what you need/want or if it bothers you too much, then I guess it would be a deal breaker for me.

You have to remember, no one is 100% perfect. 98% isn't bad.

It's only been a month right? Chances are as time goes by, there might be more things that come out about this person that bother you.

Too much alcohol? If it's often, then yes...that might be a problem.

but if it's on occasion....and the person can be responsible while drinking...then I would let it slide.

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ugh well in a nutshell I guess I mistook a situation in public where a guy was spending all his time talking to a group of girls when I bumped into him out and it really looked like he was flirting so I asked why he would "put" that in my face, then left it and walked off. Problem is my best friend got in his ear and told him how great I was and not to hurt me which probably wasnt that great because we were only causally dating at this point. Um yeah so u could call it a red flag. truly the rest of me is great lol.

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This is why alot of young people in the US (mostly women) end up being in their 30's now a days and wondering why they are still single...they run away because the guy is not 100%. There is no one who is perfect. People need to realize that, but they dont. They are now trained that there are "many fishes in the sea" and they jump from person to person looking for 100%.....ask yourself this, are you 100%?

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HA! That 2% can make them a jerk! It just depends on what that 2% means to u and if u r willing to put up with it...lol

 

I think in this case the 2% wrongdoing was from the OP based on her post.

 

But i agree with sarahrose, this guy is a tool. I can't say i'd be worried about my 2% of wrong doing darkening his thinking of me because my thinking of him would already be out the door...

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To me 2% means a small thing so by definition I would overlook the small stuff. It does not mean "one incident" or "two incidents" out of 100 because it would depend on what the incidents were. A drinking problem - or an incident that strongly suggested one -would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

As far as the previous poster with the (in my opinion) very odd generalization/stereotype I think there is a world of difference between expecting perfection and wanting someone who is a good match. Most of the people I know who are in their 30s/older and single and don't want to be want the latter, not the former.

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