Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Just wondering..I know people get hung up on their exes who they dated for years possibly coming back to them....But just wondering if anyone ever dated someone for a few weeks or a month, it didnt work out, and then hear from them later down the road and try again...Is this rare? Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Just wondering..I know people get hung up on their exes who they dated for years possibly coming back to them....But just wondering if anyone ever dated someone for a few weeks or a month, it didnt work out, and then hear from them later down the road and try again...Is this rare? Happened to me once. I dated this girl for 2 months or so. She was being flakey on me - wishy washy about making plans, etc. I got tired of it and dumped her. A year later, she emails me and says she misses me, so I tried with her again, and the same happened, so I just dumped her again. I see nothing wrong with trying again. Think hard about the reasons why you split though. If you both can overcome those issues, fine. Sometimes, people will just get in touch because they miss having someone, and not because they changed at all, which was the case with this girl. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Nah, aint happened to me. Usually the ones I was only with two minutes, were the ones I had very little interest in, or they had little interest in me. Certainly not enough interest there, to want to try again anyway... Link to comment
NowandZen Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I dated my wife for about a month. We got back together about 2 years later - been married 21 years. Link to comment
grymoire Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Anon I know this is totally off-topic but just wanted to ask you about your male friend of 7 yrs... Are you still in touch with him? how are things with him? Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 nowandzen..thats a cute story....Why didnt it work out at first? did one of you like the other more? Did you stay in contact or just move on and ran into eachother again down the road? Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 grymoire, are you talking about the post from awhile ago about the guy who Im friends with and has always been in love with me? He is still in love with me, even though we live on the other side of the country....I dont think it will ever change...But if it does I will be happy for him...We still talk and sometimes I talk about my relationship issues and being lonely and he gets really jealous..But that is how our relationship has been...HE is a busy person and my friendship makes him happier than if he didnt have me as a friend... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 why would i want someone i dated briefly coming back? obviously it didn't work out in the beginning which i find very crucial. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 nowandzen..thats a cute story....Why didnt it work out at first? did one of you like the other more? Did you stay in contact or just move on and ran into eachother again down the road? Reader's Digest version: We were working at the same restaurant, and started dating. After a month or so, I was going off to college. She was not interested in pursuing an LTR, so we called it quits. I was interested in the LTR, so I had some heartache there. In March of my sophmore year, I had a dream about her. (I have a dream thread up now) in the dream, I was trying to pick someone up in a bar, and my prospective date said someone was trying to get my attention. That someone was my ex. I didn't give it much thought at the time. Fast forward to summer. I am back home, looking for work. I go to that same restaurant, and she is working part time. We had some sort of drawing at work, and for some reason, they didn't want to put my name in it. (can't remember why) She insists that they do, and I win. (like $25, which was worth something in those days). Since she was instrumental in my win, I suggest that we go out together and spend it. We started dating and the rest, as they say, is history. I suppose we were the right people, but needed to wait for the right time. We were still very young. Link to comment
grymoire Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 grymoire, are you talking about the post from awhile ago about the guy who Im friends with and has always been in love with me? He is still in love with me, even though we live on the other side of the country....I dont think it will ever change...But if it does I will be happy for him...We still talk and sometimes I talk about my relationship issues and being lonely and he gets really jealous..But that is how our relationship has been...HE is a busy person and my friendship makes him happier than if he didnt have me as a friend... yes, the same person.. the one you know for around 7 yrs.... i am in a similar situation and could use your insight as the person on the other side of the fence.. i will probably pm you as i do not wish to sidetrack this thread... Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 you dont think that bad timing would be a good reason? if they just got over a bad breakup, or were going through personal issues? Had nothing to do with it not liking eachother, just not the right time? I dunno...Ive already posted about a situation I am trying to move on from....It is complicated because this guy I liked who wasnt over his ex, well his friend really likes me....I like his friend, but not to the extent of the other guy...I dont want to get involved with his friend if there was a possibility of the other guy coming around.... Grymoire...Im leaving in a bit, but feel free to send me a pm.....I hope you arent suffering from your situation... Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Just wondering..I know people get hung up on their exes who they dated for years possibly coming back to them....But just wondering if anyone ever dated someone for a few weeks or a month, it didnt work out, and then hear from them later down the road and try again...Is this rare? This happened to me. We are together now. I don't know how rare it is though. Link to comment
veda999 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I don't think it is that rare. I think it happens often. Anon333 - if you like the guy a lot I would not go out with his friend, or that would end it. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Yeah Veda...It is confusing because he isnt over his ex and Ive written on here a few times about him and got a lot of responses to stop thinking about him and move on....I have no idea if I will ever hear from him again, and if I did, it may be a long time from now....He is not close close to the guy who likes me..He is in the same circle of people but doesnt really hang out with this guy...Anyway...The advice Ive been given is to move on and date other people and dont let a crush on someone who is not calling you or wanting you hold you back...But the only person I would be half interested in, is this guy that I know really likes me and is his friend...Confusing huh..I think you are right though..I dont want to date someone Im not sure about....I might have lead him on last night a little... Link to comment
laisla Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 i was "with" a guy for a month. the relationship meant nothing to the both of us. it was pretty casual. no pain after he left. a year later, he comes back and asks for another chance. of course i reject him. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 hmmm..must have meant nothing to you and maybe something to him? Or maybe after some time he thought about you and had feelings? Strange...I guess people do come around sometimes....I know all my ex boyfriends have for the most part...But really dont know about someone you havent really developed a real emotional connection too..Even though in my mind, I felt connected and to him from the get-go. Link to comment
laisla Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 no, it meant nothing to both of us. he just thought he was a player, he had noone at that time so he contacted me. i wasn't that dumb. we did not have real feelings for each other. i was just never mean or rude to him, so he took my kindness for weakness. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 huh, strange you dated for a month with no feelings at all? Did you have sex or act affectionate? was it all just playing a roll? Or did you go out to dinner dates and try to make something work that wasnt there? Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 dragon lady that sucks! God, I would not wish that on anyone..That guy has some issues..Im sorry you got sucked into it.... Link to comment
laisla Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 huh, strange you dated for a month with no feelings at all? Did you have sex or act affectionate? was it all just playing a roll? Or did you go out to dinner dates and try to make something work that wasnt there? hm, it was a long time ago, we were young, so it didn't mean much for the both of us. we were just beginning to learn about and experience the dating world. there was no sex, some affection, no real connection. we only went out a few times. Link to comment
Portage Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I dated my wife for about a month. We got back together about 2 years later - been married 21 years. LOL - I read that at first as "we got back together after two weeks" - soooooooooooo, you had only been dating for one month?? Am i missing something??? Link to comment
dragon lady Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 dragon lady that sucks! God, I would not wish that on anyone..That guy has some issues..Im sorry you got sucked into it.... It's fine. It was a pretty hot night and I admit that I waited for about 2 weeks before I could convince myself that he wasn't going to call. I'm just glad I'm not in a relationship with someone who is going to bring a ton of drama to the table. Honestly, I'd rather be single. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 LOL - I read that at first as "we got back together after two weeks" - soooooooooooo, you had only been dating for one month?? Am i missing something??? Okay, here's the timeline --- Dated for one month - 1984 NC until June 1986 Dated from June 1986 - Summer 1987 Married 1987 - present Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 This happened to me. We are together now. I don't know how rare it is though. It happened to me. My recent ex told me he "couldn't be in a relationship," because he wasn't over his previous ex, etc. and we ended up parting ways. Then, we ended up sort of seeing each other again (not having a "relationship" officially, though), and he pulled the "can't be in a relationship" crap on me again, so I cut things off. A few months later, he announced that he'd gotten back together with the ex that he said he wasn't over, and that's where we are. He is acting REALLY strangely, though, calling me, contacting me a lot more, and I am actually meeting with him today to get to the bottom of everything. I have a feeling he has stuff he wants to say, too, so it should be interesting. Honestly, Anon, you've posted a lot about this same guy, and you've pretty much asked the same question each time. I'm not picking on you for doing that, but there really are no answers for your questions except that, yes, sometimes they DO realize they made a mistake. Sometimes they DO seek us out after they've gotten over their exes, even if we only dated them for a short time. Sometimes these things CAN work out. And, sometimes they don't. But...no one knows what will happen, and my new rule of thumb with regard to these things is that when someone says "I'm not ready for a relationship," I should BELIEVE him -- not worry about if he means "with me" or "with anyone," not worry about if/when he's coming back, etc. I should move forward, perhaps date other people if I find interesting ones, and if he decides he changed his mind down the road -- great. If not, that's OK too. My new mantra is "there are over six billion people in the world. He was NOT the only one for me. The odds are in my favor." Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 browneyedgirl..You are right..I guess things keep coming up, like him showing up at my work and me and this guy hanging out last night...If I hung out with this guy that likes me, it could cut all chances with the other guy, yet at the same time, I need to move on as though he will never come back...Everyone tells me to date other people, but honestly Im not interested in anyone else...I just suddenly want a relationship and to be close to someone like I did with him....I guess I need to find that place where Im okay being single again..But really, no sex and no b/f in over a year is hard...Especially going into the New Year discouraged that it will never happen...Browneyed..You are so right on..SOmetimes posting on here is just my little therapy, but someotimes it makes me feel worse because I know some people see the similar things I ask...And then I realize maybe I am dwelling on a situation I have no control over.....People come and go and come back and go away I guess... Link to comment
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