What Should I Get Him/Her?

[ImThatGirl]

i understand running out of ideas or haven't a clue because you haven't bought for someone before, but not knowing what they are into....that's extreme.

 

Have you ever met anyone that is just not quick to express themselves or their likes?

 

Or anyone that just isn't greatly passionate about anything?

 

I have an example. My ex. I know many things he likes. Many things I could "maybe" get for him (if still together - hypothetical here.) But, I wouldn't know anything that would just WOW him.

[ImThatGirl]

Well, to answer your specific Q, he has an MP3 player.

 

Anyway, I decided to get him something cooking related. I noticed that he does not have enough of that stuff.

 

He told me he didn't want me to spend much money on him as he is not into gifts or gift-giving.

 

I think you should've just planned a hot night with him and a few things that he'd maybe enjoy - like a credit for more music for his MP3 player, tickets to a soccer game or something? Some kind of beer gift pack... lol Clothes always work too as someone mentioned above.

[Mythical_Suicide]

It's not that we are trying to jump on you, just finding it somewhat weird and maybe a little crazy that you can be in a relationship with someone, especially for a long period of time and not know anything about them. As Ghost said, running out of ideas is one thing but just completely not knowing the other person is a completely different issue.

[lady00]

okay, that's just music. what in the crap do you guys do or talk about then? you must know something about him besides the aforementioned. come on lady. not trying to be critical, but i find it very very odd you know basically nothing about your bf.

 

Right. I know nothing about my bf

 

I do know a lot about him. I know that he is kind, he is into me, he is really smart and funny. And sweet. He is outgoing and he is one of those "really popular kids in school" type of guys. He likes to have fun and goes out a lot with his friends. He likes to think of new business ideas and spends time brainstorming with people about them.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Have you ever met anyone that is just not quick to express themselves or their likes?

 

Or anyone that just isn't greatly passionate about anything?

 

I have an example. My ex. I know many things he likes. Many things I could "maybe" get for him (if still together - hypothetical here.) But, I wouldn't know anything that would just WOW him.

 

 

My fiance is that way.. He isn't very quick at expressing himself or telling things that he likes and the few things he is passionate about he has everything ever made regarding those things so it makes it extremely difficult to buy for him. So I just have to go out and just going off what im' sure he likes buy something from that. If he isn't happy with it then I tried but the point Ghost was trying to make , if you don't know these things asking a bunch of random strangers isn't going to help much.

[lady00]

I already got him something...sorry if that was unclear. I was just saying that initially I was one of the clueless ones and I started a thread called "what do I get him" or something like that.

[ghost69]

Have you ever met anyone that is just not quick to express themselves or their likes?

 

Or anyone that just isn't greatly passionate about anything?

 

I have an example. My ex. I know many things he likes. Many things I could "maybe" get for him (if still together - hypothetical here.) But, I wouldn't know anything that would just WOW him.

 

well, you date someone to get to know if they are a good match. knowing they are human isn't enough for me. if i was dating someone for a long time and knew nothing about them, i would have broken up long ago. not passionate about anything = not a gf for me. i'd be bored out of my mind.

 

 

 

Right. I know nothing about my bf

 

I do know a lot about him. I know that he is kind, he is into me, he is really smart and funny. And sweet. He is outgoing and he is one of those "really popular kids in school" type of guys. He likes to have fun and goes out a lot with his friends. He likes to think of new business ideas and spends time brainstorming with people about them.

 

you know he's kind and likes you? wow, amazing. to me, that isn't enough. don't you feel you should know him better? i mean, how long together now?

[ImThatGirl]

Meant to mention that point too - the people that buy everything they ever like or want.

 

I understand that MS.

 

What I'm trying to explain is that some people may just be stuck and paniced about what to buy or not buy.

 

When making a thread as in "What should I get," they may be brainstorming for ideas - not so much that they have no clue what to get but they are being somewhat indecisive or worry about what to get.

[lady00]

Bottom line for me is:

 

1) I got him something already. I know it is something he needed. It's not hobby-related. It is functional and it looks nice. So I figured out something in the end after wracking my brain.

 

(2) it's my relationship. I really couldn't care less what people think about what I should or should not know. If you find it odd, you're free to have the opinion. Neither he nor I are particularly worried about it. So, thanks for the concern, but we're doing just fine. I appreciate the opinions, I really do. And I realize that is what ENA is for. But I think people want to make this into a problem when we are doing just fine.

[ImThatGirl]

I have to ask..... I know it's a little off topic but curious now.

 

Gah! When people ask me "what I want for Christmas," I have a really hard time thinking of anything or telling them what to get for me.

 

Does that make me boring?

 

Does that make them not know me well? (family members)

[Mythical_Suicide]

Bottom line for me is:

 

1) I got him something already. I know it is something he needed. It's not hobby-related. It is functional and it looks nice. So I figured out something in the end after wracking my brain.

 

(2) it's my relationship. I really couldn't care less what people think about what I should or should not know. If you find it odd, you're free to have the opinion. Neither he nor I are particularly worried about it. So, thanks for the concern, but we're doing just fine. I appreciate the opinions, I really do. And I realize that is what ENA is for. But I think people want to make this into a problem when we are doing just fine.

 

 

That's great you two are doing really well.

 

Not sure I understand why you got so defensive over it but I didn't mean to offend you with anything I said if I did. You don't have to come on here and defend yourself nor your relationship because noone was attacking your relationship with the original post.

[lady00]

That's great you two are doing really well.

 

Not sure I understand why you got so defensive over it but I didn't mean to offend you with anything I said if I did.

 

I am definitely defensive about it because everyone seems to know there is a problem with my relationship when there isn't. I think that most people would get defensive in a situation like this. I feel like I am being attacked when I am in the best relationship of my life so far. I don't get it. I see this thread as being started to criticize people like me who had trouble thinking of a gift for a bf. So I replied trying to explain why it's not easy for everyone and then people jump all over it.

[lady00]

That's great you two are doing really well.

 

Not sure I understand why you got so defensive over it but I didn't mean to offend you with anything I said if I did. You don't have to come on here and defend yourself nor your relationship because noone was attacking your relationship with the original post.

 

I never said anyone was attacking my relationship with the original post. I posted in reply to the OP to give a different perspective. And then people jumped all over my reply. I didn't expect that and I'm pretty taken aback by it.

 

Anyway, maybe I should get off this thread now so that people who agree with the OP can continue...seems like that is what people want to hear in this thread. It's two extremes: either you don't know your SO and it's a problem/something isn't right with the relationship or you know your SO and shouldn't be having to ask for ideas on what to get them.

 

I tried to offer a third perspective...but I guess people seem to think that it's not valid. Fair enough. I respect everyone's opinions.

[McLovin oo7]

I have to ask..... I know it's a little off topic but curious now.

 

Gah! When people ask me "what I want for Christmas," I have a really hard time thinking of anything or telling them what to get for me.

 

Does that make me boring?

 

Does that make them not know me well? (family members)

 

Its not really fun to tell someone what do you want for Christmas.

 

I think family and friends should do their home work in finding out what would make you happy instead of asking you.

[ghost69]

I never said anyone was attacking my relationship with the original post. I posted in reply to the OP to give a different perspective. And then people jumped all over my reply. I didn't expect that and I'm pretty taken aback by it.

 

Anyway, maybe I should get off this thread now so that people who agree with the OP can continue...seems like that is what people want to hear in this thread. It's two extremes: either you don't know your SO and it's a problem/something isn't right with the relationship or you know your SO and shouldn't be having to ask for ideas on what to get them.

 

I tried to offer a third perspective...but I guess people seem to think that it's not valid. Fair enough. I respect everyone's opinions.

 

it's not 2 extremes. you can know everything about your SO and know what to buy them and have a terrible relationship. yours is great and going good it sounds. i just think it's a bit odd you know basically nothing about anything they are into. that's all. has nothing to do with the health of your relationship and noone said that.

[lady00]

i just think it's a bit odd you know basically nothing about anything they are into. that's all.

 

Right...so your opinion is it's odd and that I know "basically nothing" about what he is into. Mine is it's not odd and I feel like I know my bf quite well and he and I both have similar amounts of knowledge about each other. I simply disagree with the premises of the OP. That's just my $0.02.

[hockeyboy]

Right...so your opinion is it's odd and that I know "basically nothing" about what he is into. Mine is it's not odd and I feel like I know my bf quite well. I simply disagree with the premises of the OP. That's just my $0.02.

 

And on this issue, I disagree with you, which is 100% fine. Just because we disagree does not mean I'm attacking you or don't want to hear what you have to say (I asked you questions because I did) or that I only want to hear opinions that side with me. That's just not true.

 

Personally, I was just trying to understand a different point of view, sorry if that came accross as an attack.

[lady00]

Eh, I am probably too sensitive about this though.

[amtjrtcet]

do people really not know their SO enough? i just keep seeing these threads pop up that ask us that. just seems a little bit odd. especially by people that have been with their SO for over 4-5 months. you should know what they like. at least give us a hint as to what they are into. not just the question:

 

what should i get my bf/gf?

 

huh? come on seriously.

 

Ghost sweetie, I gotta disagree with you on this one....People ask for relationship advice, why not ask for gift advice? Same difference.

 

Sometimes people just want to get someone elses opinion, sometimes people just want to hear themselves talk, either way....no biggy.

 

Still love you though!

[Firiel]

I've been told by numerous people that I'm hard to buy for. I think I'd probably be one of those people about whom a "What should I get her" thread would be started.

 

My boyfriend had a hard time thinking of something to get me this year, even though we've been together for over six months. It's not that he doesn't know me. In fact, he knows me better than anyone ever has. And I don't think it's that I'm particularly boring. And it's not that I'm picky. A friend of mine got me stickers for my birthday, and I was thrilled. It's just that getting me something significant that I will use for a long time is pretty hard. I don't really listen to music, my movie tastes are eclectic, I like reading but don't really do much reading in my free time because I read so much for school, I run track at my college but I really have all of the equipment I need for that already. And in my free time, I often just chill with my friends or surf the internet. It doesn't help that my birthday is three weeks before Christmas.

 

Anyway, when he was having trouble thinking of something to buy me, I wasn't hurt. In fact, I just felt bad because he asked me if I wanted anything, and I couldn't give him any ideas. I can't even buy for myself! So, while I agree that people who start threads about Christmas presents should at least give some info on their SO, I don't think it's crazy at all to not know what to get a SO for Christmas. It doesn't mean you don't know them. Often times the things you know about a person can't really be put into words.

[hockeyboy]

I don't think anyone took issue with the thought of some people being tough to buy for...but rather took issue that some people don't seem to know what their S/O is into.

 

For example, I like hockey and am into it in many aspects. If the girl I'm dating knows this but still is not sure what to get me because she doesn't know much about hockey, then that's one thing...but if she didn't know I was into hockey, that would be a major issue.

[Firiel]

I guess what I'm saying is that it would be really easy for someone to say "I don't know" if asked what I am into. All of my interests are really structured at this point. My love for literature is dictated by school, my athleticism is dictated by track. So they seem more like things I have to do rather than actual interests even though they are both.

 

And neither would probably produce any good Christmas gifts, so that would leave a person saying, "I don't know what she does in her free time!" when asked what my outside hobbies are. I don't even know what I do in my free time!

[lady00]

And it's not that I'm picky. A friend of mine got me stickers for my birthday, and I was thrilled. It's just that getting me something significant that I will use for a long time is pretty hard. I don't really listen to music, my movie tastes are eclectic, I like reading but don't really do much reading in my free time because I read so much for school, I run track at my college but I really have all of the equipment I need for that already. And in my free time, I often just chill with my friends or surf the internet.

 

Interesting...I think my situation w/my bf is quite similar. He spends a lot of time studying because his program is not demanding. And when he is not studying, he is with me or out at bars with friends. And when he's not doing that he is playing soccer (but he already has all he needs for that) or coming up with business ideas (no idea what I would get that is related to that).

[lady00]

I guess what I'm saying is that it would be really easy for someone to say "I don't know" if asked what I am into. All of my interests are really structured at this point. My love for literature is dictated by school, my athleticism is dictated by track. So they seem more like things I have to do rather than actual interests even though they are both.

 

And neither would probably produce any good Christmas gifts, so that would leave a person saying, "I don't know what she does in her free time!" when asked what my outside hobbies are. I don't even know what I do in my free time!

 

This is very similar to what I was trying to say...glad to see someone understands where I am coming from.

[Firiel]

Interesting...I think my situation w/my bf is quite similar.

 

Yeah, I saw your posts and I was just thinking, "That sounds like me!" Silly people who are hard to buy for and don't have interests.