Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 If you have read my posts: and the more miserable: I have been going through this bad. But..... I was just sitting watching TV and texting (ok, flirting) with a friend of mine. And then he called. I DID NOT pick up! I am very happy I did not. I don't really know what to say and don't really want to hear it. I'm just not there- not sure if I ever want to talk to him again. I have gone through hell already and am starting to feel better slowly. I know I will have my down times, but overall I am learning how to perk myself up. Music and flirting helps, I'm sorry but it does. He called and I have no idea what he was going to say. Was it I'm sorry I did this or was it an explanation of why he hasn't called in 4 days? Am I overreacting? I know I was not happy with him, so in some sense it doesn't really matter. I'm just happy knowing what he is thinking. He thinks I am out on a date and with another guy. I know how he thinks. Even if he doesn't want us to be together, I know that me not picking up bothers him. He didn't leave a message. No text, just this call that I did not pick up. He never leaves messages so I don't really know what to think. Seriously, I need feedback. Keep me strong people! Link to comment
Amasa Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 That's good. He took his sweet time calling you. I'm glad your not rushing to the phone as soon as he called you. Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Good point. Love it. Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Holy crap he is calling again! I did not pick it up. What is going on? I am loving this. And I am listening to Beyonce's Irreplaceable. I love it. Link to comment
Amasa Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Did he leave a message this time? Maybe it just clicked to him that you might be upset.... Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 No. No message. I hate to admit this but I took my headphones off unless there is a knock on the door. Not that I am hoping that would happen. This is just all a movie to me in some way. Link to comment
zrehman Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Hey hun ... You know I got your back! I think that a voicemail is an important tool in deciding whether or not the message you want to leave is important or not. Since he did not leave a voicemail, I don't think he had anything important to say. And its a good thing you did not pick up the phone. If he calls again, wait for him to leave a voicemail ... you don't want to answer the phone and be caught off guard. You need to get a read from were his mindset is right now, so you can protect yourself! Link to comment
UCLAMike Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Hey hun ... You know I got your back! I think that a voicemail is an important tool in deciding whether or not the message you want to leave is important or not. Since he did not leave a voicemail, I don't think he had anything important to say. And its a good thing you did not pick up the phone. If he calls again, wait for him to leave a voicemail ... you don't want to answer the phone and be caught off guard. You need to get a read from were his mindset is right now, so you can protect yourself! Take this bold lettered advice. Stay strong sister we are here for you. Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Not sure if I want to talk to him. It might be time to just cut the cord. I am not picking up or responding to texts as of now. He has a bad habit of drunk dialing and spilling his guts to me. About the only time he ever does. We'll see what happens when the bars close. Still not picking it up though. Link to comment
zrehman Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Not sure if I want to talk to him. It might be time to just cut the cord. I am not picking up or responding to texts as of now. He has a bad habit of drunk dialing and spilling his guts to me. About the only time he ever does. We'll see what happens when the bars close. Still not picking it up though. Do you think this might be a good chance for him to spill his gut and find out what's really going on with him?? I mean, you can find out what's up with him and then get off the phone and take a few days to figure out what you want to do depending on what he tells you. If you do decide to talk to him tonight, DO NOT give him anything from you ... make him do all the talking. Link to comment
zrehman Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Hey hun Checking up on you ... did you speak with him last night? Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 No I didn't but a fleeting thought came into my head this morning about texting him. But I know thats not right. He can call and leave a message if he wants to talk. Who knows he may never call again. But, at least he is the one who made the last contact. I get a big sense of satisfaction from that. I don't want to give that up now that we are done. That is important to me. So I don't know, new day, hopefully no break downs today. We'll see.... Link to comment
Robert013 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 No I didn't but a fleeting thought came into my head this morning about texting him. But I know thats not right. He can call and leave a message if he wants to talk. Who knows he may never call again. But, at least he is the one who made the last contact. I get a big sense of satisfaction from that. I don't want to give that up now that we are done. That is important to me. So I don't know, new day, hopefully no break downs today. We'll see.... I agree you do not want to be the one to make last contact. I always stoped contact first. It gives you the control by ignoring it. Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Yes but some of my friends are telling me that I should hear him out and that maybe this is all my imagination. And a chance to resolve things and get closure. But I don't think that I should call or text him. I am thinking that I might pick up if he calls again. I need to get in the right state of mind and decide what I want to say. I just don't know if talking to him is the right thing to do. Link to comment
Amasa Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I don't know either, that's really a decision only you can make. But there is nothing wrong with letting him sweat while you think about it. Link to comment
zrehman Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 No I didn't but a fleeting thought came into my head this morning about texting him. But I know thats not right. He can call and leave a message if he wants to talk. Who knows he may never call again. But, at least he is the one who made the last contact. I get a big sense of satisfaction from that. I don't want to give that up now that we are done. That is important to me. So I don't know, new day, hopefully no break downs today. We'll see.... You have to do what you feel is right. I think you are right about NC with him and you should continue it till you are strong again. In the mean time, if you ever have your break downs ... contact me. I sent you a private message. It doesn't hurt to get a little motivation from your peers .. it helps a lot, trust me. Link to comment
Kristin25 Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 Yo. Tonight is rough. I wrote back a text to him a few days ago and said "Saw that you called. Don't really know what to say". That was yesterday morning, a couple days after he had called. I have not heard back anything. With tonight being Christmas, I am sort of toying with the idea that he might call or text. But I don't think he will. I am NOT going to at all. Tonight and in the future. This is tough. I've been dealing with a lot lately and today was a little hard. I'm sort of at the place where I want to hear what he has to say. I'm sort of falling back into the pattern of wanting him to call since most of our relationship has been over the phone. It's weird. I didn't text Merry Christmas, but I only did that to a few, but not him. I might have to accept that I may never here the reasons. He is very emotionally closed off anyway and can't really talk about emotions without a few beers in him. And then he lets it all out when he's drinking. It breaks my heart to think that he may not be thinking about me at all, but I sort of know that is not the case. I really think that I have been on his mind. Help me out a little here kids. This is a tough one. Link to comment
Joel Barish Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 Don't sweat it. I'm sure you have been on his mind. But at the same time I try to not believe I know what the EX is thinking, although yes, we know them very well and its easy to do. But the truth is, we really don't know what's going through their heads. We may know some of it, but we don't know everything. After the first couple months of barely talking, now if I don't contact my ex for more than 10 days I'm almost guaranteed a call, or a facebook comment or something...at first it seemed like she was just trying to show me how awesome she is with everything (!) but now she seems more...IDK, normal? Either way I do pretty well with not contacting her until she calls, and then I'm wanting to call her! I gotta start being stronger with that. She actually called me last night, I missed it, she left a voicemail. Called back, missed her, left a voicemail. It was actually satisfying, cause I really did not want to talk. Hopefully I won't hear from her before New Years but I'm not counting on it. Gosh New Years is the worst one for me! But thank God these Holidays are almost over. And then only six more weeks till V-Day! Link to comment
zrehman Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Hey hun What's going on with your situation? Link to comment
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