CAN'T WAIT for the holidays to end

[hiphop3]

god i hate christmas. i get so anxious and depressed when ever it's approaching. i've given myself cankers in my mouth b/c i bite the insides of my cheeks when i sleep when i'm stressed. i always feel like crying. my dad and i had dinner together and while i was cleaning up the kitchen i almost burst into tears. i don't want to talk to my bf or see him until we go back to our apartment after xmas, i just want to push him away (even tho we're having problems that i want to work on).

3 yrs ago on xmas eve my stupid mom and sisters decided to do an intervention on my dad w/out a therapist for his out of control drinking (and he's a mean drunk). bad move. it was a huge disaster and he said some of the most horribly disturbing and mean things. he also revealed that he is sick and has 5 yrs to live...so this xmas means there's 2 more yrs to go (if the doctors are correct tho). and this summer my mom finally left him.

it's just so sad. and my relationship with my dad is so awkward and f*cked up. and he's a very dysfunctional person. when ever we have a nice moment i just want to cry.

 

oops, just realized i should have posted this in the emotions section.

[beejcee]

it really hurts when your parents and family aren't the people you want or need them to be. i'm so sorry you feel this way, too.

 

have you considered seeing a counselor? it's helped me process a lot of my disappointment with my family.

 

take care -- the holidays are really rough for folks like us. you are not alone.

[sparkles4]

I can't wait for the holidays to end, either, although for somewhat different reasons.

 

I feel like the holidays are supposed to be a time for love and peace and togetherness, but it just shifts our attention to the parts of our lives in which these things are lacking.

[redhearts]

The christmas songs CONSTANTLY playing is so damn annoying! I want to hear real music not Christmas music 24/7 on the radio on each station.

[hiphop3]

it really hurts when your parents and family aren't the people you want or need them to be. i'm so sorry you feel this way, too.

 

have you considered seeing a counselor? it's helped me process a lot of my disappointment with my family.

 

take care -- the holidays are really rough for folks like us. you are not alone.

 

yeah i've been on and off with 2 therapists since i was about 16. i was going about once a week for about 2 months then stopped when school got busy. i'm going to call again tho to set up routinely appointments. i used to have my emotions and rationality in tact about a year ago, but then i moved back home and all my hard work went down the drain. gotta get that back asap.

 

it's really weird seeing parents in states like these. totally ruins your childhood idea of perfect strong parents. i just have to remind myself that they're regular people too and have to live their lives.

 

*sigh*