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I have this *friend* called Sarah, and she is a bit of a pain.


She has a boyfriend, and she says she is very happy with him, he is also one of my close friends.


I have two other friends, Vicky and Dorian who recently started to go out with each other. There is also Loren, the girl im really attracted to, and who is attracted to me.


Problem? Well she doesnt like anyone else to happy, from the way she acts.

She tries to split up Vicky and dorian by making up lies, trying to make them argue. I really dont understand why she does it, she has a boyfriend so why ruin another couple. It maybe be because she fancies Dorian.


And then she tries to ruin things between me and loren, blackmailing me to do things and go out around town with her, trying to keep us apart and when ever we do meet up she always invites her self.

She also fancies me.


What can me and my friends say to her, we have tried many times in the past but it goes in through one ear and out the other.

She just keeps on and on trying to make all 4 of us misrable and trying to turn each other against one another.


We have tried avoiding her, ignoring her but she goes to the same hobbies as us, same college bus, same college. So its impossible to get away from her.

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You can't orchestrate everyone else's relationship with her, and you can't police how she behaves toward anyone else--but you can certainly set your own boundaries.


Most important to address is the blackmail thing. If she ever threatens you to do what she wants 'or else', call her on it and hang up the phone or walk away. Freeze her out. Never permit yourself to be blackmailed, as each time you cave she's emboldened and will raise the stakes. Get yourself out of that cycle, and let the consequences fall where they may. All other friends must deal with her individually, or else she has hostages in each of you to play against the others. Quit that, and drop her cold from your own life.


In your corner.

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