I'm back and its over..

[flyer]

I used to frequent this forum quite a bit when my partner and I had a break 2 years ago.

 

Since then we have gone from the most perfect relationship to talking about getting engaged to now nothing.. The last few months we would argue over the most stupid trivial things, I often thought of leaving him. But I wasn't a strong enough person to do it, I thought after 7 years being together on and off that we would just let it go and it would sort itself out. It all came to head on Saturday as he went out to his work christmas party on Friday night he said he'd call me to pick him up. Well he didn't arrive home until 7.45am Saturday morning, and of course his phone had been off all night, he said it was flat, but I think that was just an excuse, as I confronted him when he got home after leaving a few messages through the night, he didn't seem worried about how worried I had been, he was acting very strange and I knew then something was up.

 

I went back to bed for a few more hours sleep and got up and had a shower, as we were both supposed to have gone christmas shopping on Saturday. I went in to wake him and he just said he didn't feel like going and that I should just go on my own. Well then he started talking saying he had been doing lots of thinking and that our relationship was pretty crap at that point in time, which in fact it was and I just wouldn't bring myself to admit it before then. He then said he was going to see his Mum for a few hours to think and talk, I went to my parents place and did the same.

 

Anyway I went back home and he text me about and hour later asking if I was home, I was so scared then to what he was going to come home and say. Unfortuantly it was for us to break up, I said I was happy to go and get counselling etc, but he thought it wouldn't work. He then admitted he had been on drugs that night before and had other 'secrets' he had kept from me which he then said if I knew would mean he'd be gone no questions asked (and I don't want to know what those secrets were either!) When we were on our break 2 years ago he got into drugs then, and when we got back together I made him promise me not to touch them again, so there one promise broken, I did have a gut feeling that, that side of things was happening again. He also did say that my trust issues with him where another factor, but it seems I had every reason not to trust him anyway, so hearing all of this really made the breakup make much more sense it cemented it for me.

He walked out the door and I was relieved, I know it is the right thing for both of us. I rang my sister (she lives an hour away) and went and spent the night with her, I felt good and just keep going over and over it in my head.

 

But yes it will be the right thing in the long run.

 

We own a house together, thats one of the hard parts with it all tho.

 

Anyway thats my story for now. He just text me then asking about what to do with money etc..

 

Things can only get better I hope!

[flyer]

Well he text me again earlier tonight saying that he had to come to the house to get some more things, I said I really didn't want to see him and so I went for a walk. I feel so much more in control of it all, I know he will end up going very down hill with all of this even though I am the "dumpee" I am obviously coping with it far better than him. I went and had a few glasses of wine at a friends place tonight and she just said to me, 'you seem so fine with it all' which I am.. because I am in control now, have grown up since the last time and realise I am the better person.

 

Onwards and upwards I say! I have my work christmas party tomorrow night and really looking forward to all of that, will also break it to my work colleagues what has happened, but yes im certainly not sitting around dwelling!

[catfeeder]

Glad you're handling this well, and I'm with you on not wanting to know his secrets.

 

In your corner.

[flyer]

Thanks Catfeeder.

 

Well he text me last night and wished me merry christmas. Was a tough day for me, as now I am packing up to go away - a yearly tradition for boxing day and I am finding it strange doing all of this without him. His family all contacted me yesterday wishing me a good day etc, which really helped as it shows that they actually do really care about me and I appreciate that so much.

 

But on the other hand, an aquaintance of his has been messaging me and just really helping me through it all and being great, he went though the same thing this time last year.

 

Hope everyone had a good Christmas anyway.