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Don't know how to behave.


Husky

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Hello everyone ... I have really big conversational problems ... In my school days, I was always afraid to talk, always hoped that the teacher wont ask me to stand up answer a question in front of the whole class that was a nightmare for me and , I haven't learn many things because i was too afraid to say if i didn't understand something ... Through my whole life i have tryed to be passive and invisible because i was so afraid ... Today , I have no friends, only my family and i have just started hanging out with my brother a few weeks ago , he is a son of my uncle and is 10 years older than me but despite the age we are really good friends now.

 

Now my brother keeps on telling me stories about his buddy he tells me the guy is his best and only friend and how the guy helped him many times in life so now my bro feels bad that he wasn't able to repay him, he told me he want's to introduce me to his friend and i agreed but i wasn't expecting that he will bring him over so soon , I was totally unprepared and in a state of delirium because i haven't slept last night , so i was quiet most of the time and it was an awkward situation for every one of us, i just never knew how to behave in a group of people, that's usually what i do , just remain quiet and passive , I want to be able to talk with his friend, if he ever wants to see me again after this

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I'm sorry you feel that way, I too, am usually the quiet person in a group of people, and find it hard to jump into a conversation, but I've found some things that have helped me. Just start off slowly, by being a good listener. In your mind, try to create questions based on the conversation, and when you find the right time, ask one of those question. You're not only talking some, but you're also showing interest in other people, which is great, esp. if you know nothing about the topic, ask lots of questions. Also, when a conversation is going on, think about how any part of your life or experiences relates to the conversation - i.e., if the convo is about movies, talk about the last movie you saw and how you felt about it - if it's about a sport, talk about the last time you were out skiing/playing bball/other sport.

 

You could still ask your brother to bring him over again sometime, tell your brother that you thought the guy was cool and you want to hang out with him again. But if you don't see this guy again, don't fret too much. It was just one instance, and you will have other chances in the future to meet other people.

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Thank you, I will try what you say next time, just , I've listened them talking and i was afraid to say anything , I have always preferred to be alone in my life ,now i don't know of anything better, I want to be able to talk with people without constantly being afraid and shy. I don't feel like a human being anymore.

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