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Got back with the Ex, but he isnt Spending Xmas with me & his Kids???

babeebugs

By babeebugs
in Relationship Advice

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babeebugs Rookie

babeebugs

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Hey guys, title speaks for itself... Me and my ex have got back together, but hes working xmas eve, he works on the internet. My internet isnt reliable, i have tried my hardest to source a better/reliable internet connection with no luck. He could bring his internet connection to mine, but he simply says "NO".

 

So xmas eve he wont be spending time with me and his Kids, this also means he wont be seeing them opening there presents either. His words is after spending all night working, he doesnt want to have to deal with me, the kids and my family coming round e.t.c.

 

We will be going to his (his parents house) after xmas dinner so the kids can see his side of the family.

 

He has hardly spent anytime with us and i feel like he chooses the work over us. He is also working xmas Night... Im gutted, i feel like his work comes first before me and his kids plus the fact of the matter is, he chooses his own hours!!! So he could of easily choose not to work...

 

I dont know what to do, he also nicely told me today, that he doesnt trust me (although he was the 1 who cheated in our relationship and also was seeing my ex best mate who was more like my sister!). Also he is still planning to move away early next year out of town! irregardless if i go with him or not!

 

Im thinking now, should i just say to him, look just forget it and break up with him??? Or just go along with things although im really not happy???

 

cheers guys

x

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lady00 Grand Master

lady00

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His words is after spending all night working, he doesnt want to have to deal with me, the kids and my family coming round e.t.c.

 

To me this speaks volumes about his frame of mind. He does not at all sound committed to you with that attitude. He should be ecstatic to spend Christmas with you and your children. It's not something to "deal with" it's something he should enjoy (even if you are dead tired from choosing to work the night before and not sleeping) and he should feel like you and your kids deserve to spend that time with him.

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rose2summer Veteran

rose2summer

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I am also interested in the relationship dynamic?

 

Is he made to feel like he can't provide or that he is worthless in your eyes, that he would prefer to spend it elsewhere?

 

Give some more background.

 

But on the other hand, don't waste your life away with someone who makes you miserable. We live only once, live it to your fullest.

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babeebugs Rookie

babeebugs

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Why not? What happens usually that he wants to avoid? Do he and your family not get along?

 

He gets on really good with me family, like i do with his... My nana has a touch of memory loss, so she can be abit tough to deal with, but there all make a big fuss about the kids e.t.c (hes never been the 1 for family doo's its always me taking the kids to these doo's without him)

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babeebugs Rookie

babeebugs

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I am also interested in the relationship dynamic?

 

Is he made to feel like he can't provide or that he is worthless in your eyes, that he would prefer to spend it elsewhere?

 

Give some more background.

 

But on the other hand, don't waste your life away with someone who makes you miserable. We live only once, live it to your fullest.

 

the relationship dynamic??? not sure what this means

 

He can deffo provide!!! he has bought the kids prezzies, which are at his and there will be opening his prezzies when we go to his after dinner.

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babeebugs Rookie

babeebugs

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We get on good... but he broke up with me, cos my 1 and only friend is sort of friends, with sum1 who i briefly saw after our break up... He made me choose, and i said if he at all loved me he wouldnt even ask me that question, cos i would never do that to him, even tho his friend is friends with my ex best mate, who my ex was seeing for 3 months.

 

Our relationship was up and down... Me and my 1st son lived at my mams till he was 18 months old, i was more or less a single parent, i did all the nights on my own and basically everything else. I moved out on my own and my partner just sort of moved in. We argued alot basically cos he was never around, he was more or less a single lad, only he had a gf and 2 kids at home... The second time he cheated on me was when my youngest was 2 weeks old. He never told me till 4 months after and made my life hell, accusing me of cheating e.t.c

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babeebugs Rookie

babeebugs

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no sorry ive confused things... i was his girlfriend with 2 kids, yet he was the 1 going around being the single lad... going out drinking e.t.c...

 

he has never gave me money for the kids... if anything ive kept him, he has never helped to pay towards household bills, when we have lived together e.t.c

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babeebugs Rookie

babeebugs

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Seriously, read this and read your first posts. Then answer the question: do I love him more than I love myself?

 

I probs do love him more than i love myself.. i just cant break away from him! I want my family back so much... But i just feel like he isnt at all commitmented to me and his kids, just like before... I thought he would of changed maybies matured, grew up e.t.c. But this was the sole reason we broke up in the 1st place... He would criticise about my parenting skills although if he was around alot more he would realise, what he criticised me on was totally untrue...

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