Seeing an X

[naugyanks]

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about 9 months ago. When we first broke up, we decided not to stay friends because it would be too painful. But a couple of months ago she texted me to wish me a happy b-day and after talking a little I told her that it was fine if she wanted to have light contact (thinking that it had been long enough and I was over it). So she texted me every once in a while to keep in touch. Lately tho, she's been texting more often now that we're both home from college for winter break. However, yesterday she asked me if we could see each other over break. I told her that I thought it would be fine as along as we were both clear on intentions and that it could only be as friends.

I'm not so sure about that anymore; when she asked me if we could see each other, I got this pit in my stomach like I still had feelings for her. And even though my heart might be telling me that I want to get back together with her, I know that I can't.

Knowing that I can't let this turn into anything, I'm not sure if I should hang out with her at all. Do you think it would be okay to spend a little time with her as just friends or is it a bad idea? When we dated I felt pretty strongly about her and I'm pretty sure she felt strongly about me so I'm worried some old feelings might show up if we hang out. What are your thoughts?

[gee]

Hey yanks,

 

It doesn't seem like you are over her. If you're indecisive about meeting up w/ her and you might feel uncomfortable than I suggest you don't meet up. You're saying to yourself you are over her, but you're not thinking straight wether or not to see her. To me that's not being over someone. The outcome might set you back.

 

What's going to happen if a wave of feelings come rushing back? Are you ready for that? Think about it man..with your head not your heart this time! Good luck!

 

gee

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Hey yanks,

 

It doesn't seem like you are over her. If you're indecisive about meeting up w/ her and you might feel uncomfortable than I suggest you don't meet up. You're saying to yourself you are over her, but you're not thinking straight wether or not to see her. To me that's not being over someone. The outcome might set you back.

 

What's going to happen if a wave of feelings come rushing back? Are you ready for that? Think about it man..with your head not your heart this time! Good luck!

 

gee

 

I agree. I have to wonder, however, why can't you two get back together. Did she break it off with you or did you break it off with her?

[purpleJ]

after months of no contact when i was SURE i was over the ex(bf again now)..i bumped into him and we had lunch..all during lunch i was ok and i walked off thinking YES im finally over it.only to break into tears on the train..

just like you i believed i was done but seeing him just made all the feelings come rushing back..and thats when i thought i cnt be friends with him EVER

 

do you really need her frienship? I doubt you do..tell her that without sounding like youre miserable..say youre feeling ok and you don't want any old feelings come rushing back by seeing her

[zrehman]

Do you want to just be friends with her or do you want to be back together with her?

[KarateKate]

It took me over a year of basically no contact to get over my feelings for my ex. There's also another guy that I dated briefly, and we both thought it was done with, but after we've started talking, the feelings have come back.

However, it was never a feeling of wanting to be with them again. After about two months, I never wanted to be with my ex again-at all. There was no question. If he asked, I could have turned him down without blinking an eye.

Why did the two of you break up? How long were you together?