Ex Girlfriend Ignoring Me after 8 year relationship

[jss1100]

I am 3.5 months removed from an 8 year relationship. We lived together for 7.5 years. My ex refuses to speak to me. All 'our' friends are now her friends. There was a point early on in this separation in which she said we could be friends later but not right now....but it just doesnt feel like we are going to be friends when you have been ignored for a couple months. Last I talked to her she threatened it could be as long as a year before she would speak to me again.

 

It has been very difficult but I have stopped my attempts at communicating with her. I am hoping that if I give her time and space she will be interested in continuing our friendship to some degree. We had been best friends for those 8 years and it is so hard for me to walk away from that.

 

I do not know what to believe. Part of me thinks if she ever wanted to be friends with me again she would speak to me some now but she does not.

 

Do you think it is likely she will contact me in the future even though she ignores me now?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Why did she break up with you? It sounds like she holds a lot of anger about the relationship. It is tough to say how things will turn out in the long run. She could need to process a lot of things that happened during the relationship. The best thing you can do for yourself is to let her go and focus on your life. Think about what went wrong in the relationship and think about things you would like to change about yourself over the next few months. Who would you like to be...what positive changes would you like to see for yourself..with yourself and how you relate to others. Work on yourself and follow your personal dreams. Who knows what will happen over time...but for now you have to walk away from her completely while you both heal.

[keefy1972]

I think she will contact you down the road. Some people just HAVE to totally disconnect from people in order for their feelings to change. Perhaps this is just her way to deal with breaking up. It's hard to not take it personally, but the truth is, this is her thing and probably has little to do with you or her feelings about you. She is just trying to process the break up.

[jss1100]

Well I think the main reason she broke up with me was because she felt I was not expressing my love for her outwardly enough. But honestly its extremely complicated and difficult for me to understand the truth of the matter. I think she got to the point where she could not appreciate when I was being romantic towards her because she thought it was not genuine or that i was just doing it to appease her. Of course this was not true.

 

I refused to turn my back on her even when she was telling me to. I refused to stop contacting her for the majority of these past 3.5 months. Because I felt I could not turn away from my best friend. But I have come to the conclusion that my only real option here is to cease contacting her. It is probably my only hope at maintaining a friendship with her.

 

Thank you so much for your responses. They help a lot in these dark times.

[veneratio]

She has to get over you and she wants you to get over her and heal. If you're still in contact with each other how would you let go of the relationship and the associated feelings? I think in time if you leave her be she will contact you, or maybe you can contact her. Just give her and yourself time. Enough time.

[emalkoc]

why do you want to be friends? did u ask yourself? if you feel indifferent, you would not care about it...