Does Sex Equal Love?

[lifelessons]

Does Sex equal love? What I mean is when two people are in love, does love effect the sexual pleasure? If a man has sex with a women he is not in love with, does he have the same pleasure he would if he has sex with someone he’s in love with?

 

I’m asking because It’s not that way for me. I don’t like casual sex. I would rather not have sex than to have it with someone just for fun. I want to have sex with someone I’m in love with or falling in love with or want to fall in love with. Casual sex doesn't really please me.

 

However, recently I started dating someone and sex with this person is the most passionate sex I’ve every had. It almost feels like every time we have sex it gets more intense. Can I believe he is falling in love with me?

[davef]

Sounds like you answered some of your own questions.

 

Also, don't be too hard on yourself, just go with the flow.

[Taomagicdragon]

Sex is like chocolate, love is like peanut butter, the two together are like Reese's.

[doyathink]

Sex is like chocolate, love is like peanut butter, the two together are like Reese's.

 

LOL! You just made me hungry.

 

I'm not a man, can't answer your question.

[Portage]

Sex is like chocolate, love is like peanut butter, the two together are like Reese's.

 

I love that AND i love the Reese's Pieces

[agent1607307371]

Can I believe he is falling in love with me?

 

I wouldn't bet on love based on sex. Sounds to me like you're just getting better at anticipating each others preferences.

[Raistlin]

Some guys like casual sex, some dont; same as women. It depends on the guy.

 

I personally have only had sex with 2 girls - one in a relationship, one not. I have to say that the girl I wasn't in a relationship with... well, the sex was much better, much more intense, and much more passionate. It was amazing, where the sex with the girl I had the relationship with earlier in the year.. it was bland. Boring even.

 

Still, I'd rather be committed before having sex. It just kinda happened for me.

[hers]

I wouldn't say it's easy to define what he's feeling based on how good he is in bed for you. It coudl be that you're starting to feel deeper feelings for him, thus having a more intense feeling for him. But careful not to confuse love and sex. Sometimes people have sex and think it's love b/c it provides taht intense feeling.

 

How old are you?

 

And welcome to ENA from another Atlanta resident!

[abriellek]

Sexual chemistry shouldn't be mistaken as love. If the sex is that great now, it will probably be AMAZING when you really are in love. Sex when you're in love is like a soulful, spiritual connection. Obviously sex is better when you're in love, but I don't think you're in love right now. Hopefully you're happy!

[Rose21]

Sex goes with love, but then it also doesn't.

 

You don't have to be in love to have sex, but being in love makes sex SOO much better.

 

I refuse to have sex unless I am in a commited/serious relationship and in love and no that my partner feels the same.

[davef]

sex should be exciting.

[itsallgrand]

Sex and love aren't related. That's my opinion.

 

They can go together and that is wonderful. Though it isn't always wonderful, either, just because you love the person.

 

I'd be really careful about guessing what his feelings are based on the sex.

 

I think it more tells about your feelings growing towards him, given your views on sex and love.

 

And as silly as this may sound - great sex can open up a cauldron of emotions.

 

That doesn't mean it's love either - sometimes it just means it's really satisfying sex! I think sometimes people try to underestimate how powerful good sex can be - so much so that we try to make it prettier by trying to tag love on to it when it isn't even there.

 

The sex is good...does there have to be more for it to be ok to enjoy? Know what I am saying? Would it be "wrong" if you enjoyed it and he didn't love you anymore than he did when you first got together?

[rainbow91]

Sex and love aren't related. That's my opinion.

 

And as silly as this may sound - great sex can open up a cauldron of emotions.

 

That doesn't mean it's love either - sometimes it just means it's really satisfying sex! I think sometimes people try to underestimate how powerful good sex can be - so much so that we try to make it prettier by trying to tag love on to it when it isn't even there.

 

I know that this doesn't answer the question, but, I've been seeing a man for 2 months...we've been intimate for 1 month. He has already told me that he loves me several times...especially during sex. At first I was reluctant to say it back because I know that I'm not in love with him, but I do "love him" as a friend so I told him I loved him too. Now if I say anything nice to him, he say's "I love you too" even when I didn't initiate the "L" word. I truly believe our great sex has made him think he is in love with me. I would love him to be one day and I'm hoping he can sustain some of those feelings until I catch up.

[itsallgrand]

I know that this doesn't answer the question, but, I've been seeing a man for 2 months...we've been intimate for 1 month. He has already told me that he loves me several times...especially during sex. At first I was reluctant to say it back because I know that I'm not in love with him, but I do "love him" as a friend so I told him I loved him too. Now if I say anything nice to him, he say's "I love you too" even when I didn't initiate the "L" word. I truly believe our great sex has made him think he is in love with me. I would love him to be one day and I'm hoping he can sustain some of those feelings until I catch up.

 

Would be interested to hear how that works out.

 

It's just my opinion that when it comes to sex, love, and feelings - it's not black and white.

 

There are all sorts of feelings and degrees in between.

[lifelessons]

OK, This is why I asked the question. We met in July of this year. We've only had sex 5 times. The 4th time, we had sex for 2 hours. Then we didn't see each other for about a month and a half and then when we had sex the 5th time, he couldn't contain himself. He kept pulling out to prevent himself from coming too fast but he still didn't last 5 minutes and his orgasm was really loud. I don't remember him making noises like that before.

 

I am in love with him and I told him I was falling for him, but he hasn't admitted it to me.

[CleanSlate]

notice how there aren't many guys around to answer that one?

 

I know this isn't the answer that people like to hear, but from my experience, there are many MANY guys who enjoy sex more when it's casual. (on the side especially) For example, when a man cheats, he is excited about the thought of getting caught. Men are motivated to try new tricks in bed with other women. The sex is steamier. Eventually, the guy becomes consumed with his mistress and bored with his wife.

[davef]

Let's not get too cynical folks. Also, sex and love are not that always something different.

[ljp]

Just because the sex is great does not mean he loves you. You can have great great sex with someone and not have an emotional connection. However, for women, great sex releases certain chemicals in the brain which contribute to the "in love" feeling. Great sex is great sex. Love is love. The best combination is when great sex and love come together. But seriously, don't think he's in love with you just because he's horny. That is a big big mistake and will lead to problems if you think he is just "not admitting" it. You made a decison already that could very well not be true about what he feels. WAit for him to say it before you assume it.

[davef]

lpj, can sex with someone you don't know well or care about be great sex? I think not.

[ljp]

lpj, can sex with someone you don't know well or care about be great sex? I think not.

 

I think it can. Although I find that the sex is infinetely better when I know and care about someone. Still doesn't mean we have to be in love to respect, care and trust each other though.

 

I honestly think that chemistry and trust are the most important ingredients when it comes to sex.

[amipushy]

It almost feels like every time we have sex it gets more intense. Can I believe he is falling in love with me?

 

No it doesnt mean that he is falling in love with you. it means that you are becoming more relaxed and unhibited.

 

Falling in love has more depth than just sex, it grows from the whole relationship, the chemistry, the warmth, the friendship, trust etc as well as the sex. Women get emotional during and after sex, beware of mistaking him for feeling what you feel. He feels differently.

 

And I agree with the above poster I don't just think it can I know it can.

[lifelessons]

lpj, can sex with someone you don't know well or care about be great sex? I think not.

 

I don't think sex is great with someone you don't know well or care about. I think it can be good sex, but great sex is with someone you care about.

[lifelessons]

Love the analogy...Anyways, sex when you love someone is very different b/c there are emotions involved. It's more passionate and pleasurable in my own experience. If there is no feelings involved, it's just the physical pleasure when a person cums, a guy that is. The rest of the time leading up to it, it's just nothing to me. Once in love, front beginning to end it's like no other experience around, you feel close and connected in every single way. It's like no other experience.

 

Thanks! I really wanted a mans opinion on this because men know men and I think sex is different for men. But I think men are more emotional when they are falling in love than when they are just in it for the sex. I also think as a woman, I should be able to tell when a man's emotions are involved even when he hasn't admitted it to me. I think If I've had sex with a man 5 times (for example) and he doesn't have any feelings for me, he should be bored with me and it should take longer for him to have an orgasm (generally speaking)

[CrazyKing]

After all those years I can say - if casual sex feels good, you like the person a lot... I have had sex with girls I don't know much, and it feels much different from having sex with someone you know well... Lately I had sex with a girl I knew for 4 years - hey, I am emotionally connected to her and that feels a lot better to have at least a little emotional connection to her...

[lifelessons]

Just because the sex is great does not mean he loves you. You can have great great sex with someone and not have an emotional connection. However, for women, great sex releases certain chemicals in the brain which contribute to the "in love" feeling. Great sex is great sex. Love is love. The best combination is when great sex and love come together. But seriously, don't think he's in love with you just because he's horny. That is a big big mistake and will lead to problems if you think he is just "not admitting" it. You made a decison already that could very well not be true about what he feels. WAit for him to say it before you assume it.

 

I don't want to assume anything, but my question is, if he is more emotional during sex, should I be able to tell his emotions are getting involved? The first time could have been just sex. Even the second time it could have been just sex, but the last time, he blow a gasket! It was more than a man just being Horney.