What would you do if you got a girl pregnant?

[redhearts]

If the guy steps in to help support ONLY the baby, not the mother too, as in paying child support for things that have to be the babies and see their child on a good basis. That is a lot better than a man being forced to be unhappy because its the right thing. There is more than one way to do the right thing.

[redhearts]

I agree. The father should NOT be able to force abortion. He SHOULD be able to stop an abortion if he wants to keep the child.

 

Some women just say they are on birth control and they aren't. Then they get pregnant, its called trying to trap a man. That is why all men must wear condoms so they won't be a father when they aren't ready. Although that isn't even full proof.

[ErikT]

Amasa - In certain aspects, we are in 100% total agreement. In other aspects, in talking generalities, we will always disagree. Pleanty of people have said it before me - every situation is different and we can't come up with a clear cut "solution" for every one of them.

[lost1607307474]

When you have sex with a person you know the risks. As soon as you have sex you are acknowledging that accidents can happen and so can pregnancy. So, that is why when the guy leaves the girl it is bad. Because the girl is stuck with child due to her gender and the male is free to leave - it doesn't seem fair. It takes two to tango - you both know the risks of what can happen when you have sex, so if pregnancy occurs you're both in it together.

[Amasa]

Your right. We shall agree to disagree.

 

 

I think that if you are in a relationship or marriage when this happens than this is a conversation that should have already been had.

I know for myself I don't think I could ever get an abortion so I have made it a point to let every guy I have ever slept with know that ahead of time.

 

I think it is an important conversation to have when you begin having sex with someone so that if a situation like this occurs everyone knows where they stand.

 

I think if your grown up enough to be having sex you should be having some adult conversations to go with it.

[ErikT]

I just posted a new thread

 

Hopefully this explains the reasons for my thinking a little be better...

[Mythical_Suicide]

Than why should the father be forced to pay for a child he doesn't want?

 

Your body, your choice - with consequences for others...

 

It is totally a double standard.

 

It's not a double standard. A female goes through ALOT regardless of whether she has an abortion, gives the baby up or keeps the baby. What does the man go through? NOTHING!! How is that a double standard?

[Mythical_Suicide]

I dunno about it not being enough to raise a child with. Maybe if you slept with an extremely unsuccessful guy, which is an unfortunate risk that many people take.

 

 

My son's father makes pretty damn good money.. However I only see a small portion of that not nearly enough to help raise a child. His food alone costs me twice what I get in child support. It takes alot more than money to raise a child though. So even if I was getting $1000 a month, it wouldn't make any difference other than extra money because my son doesn't see money all he sees is his father not wanting anything to do with him because he has better things to do with his time.

[Mythical_Suicide]

There are things you can do that are 100% effective.

 

 

.

 

 

 

Abstinence is the only thing that is 100% when it comes to having sex ...

[auburnslp]

and that's what I was saying...yuck. I am sorry for every woman that has to deal with this. I am sorry for all the dead-beat dad's that give us real, caring fathers a bad name...and most of all, I am sorry for all the children that these sorry sacks of &^%$ abandon...it's just sickening and pathetic to me.

[Jelina]

When you have sex with a person you know the risks. As soon as you have sex you are acknowledging that accidents can happen and so can pregnancy. So, that is why when the guy leaves the girl it is bad. Because the girl is stuck with child due to her gender and the male is free to leave - it doesn't seem fair. It takes two to tango - you both know the risks of what can happen when you have sex, so if pregnancy occurs you're both in it together.

 

Exactly and that's why a women should never risk herself and sleep with a guy without a condom and man should still use one even when a women says she's on birth control.

[Jelina]

I don't think a man should be able to stop the abortion if he wants the kid.

I'm not an oven. How could you make a woman go through all the sickness, body stretching, ohh and Labor for a kid she doesn't want. That's insane. And what if she wanted to go drink or do drugs while she was pregnant with kid she didn't want??? That whole scenario is crazy.

It's a nice thought, but in any kind of real practice?

 

I'm all for equal rights, but my body, my choice.

 

I agree with you. But if a woman is careless enough to sleep with a man who won't put on a condom then she needs to realize that she might end up pregnant. It's not really right to think well I have the option to abort so I might as well just not use protection. It's the woman's body and their choice, they will be carrying the baby, thereforee they should be more responsible and make sure they are protected. I don't think it's fair for the child, careless people having sex, girl gets pregnant, and then has the ability to say oh well I don't want to go through labor pain I'll just kill this kid now. I know that guys should be responsible to know they should always use protection, but since women are the ones who will have to go through all the pain and the father can disappear if he wants they should start looking out for themselves. Don't depend on someone else when it comes to your body, if they don't carry protection then don't have sex, that goes for both. There are alot of dead beat dads out there and there are alot of women out there popping out kids like they have an oven.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Saying that was a bit harsh.. While I am anti abortion for the most part that's a bit much don't you think?

 

For the rest of what you said, I pretty much agree with you however you seem to think it's the girls place to make sure the guy wears the condom as well as her take birth control.. So where does the guys responsibility come in? A girl can't guarantee a guy is going to wear a condom, I have known guys who take the condom off midway through sex and pretend they didn't and the girl didn't know until it was too late.. So many things come into play when it comes to people protecting themselves , it isn't just about men or women it's about both of them being responsible during sex and if they aren't or something happens and the female becomes pregnant, if she isn't willing to go through an abortion (Which can cause health problems now and in the future for her..) then it's her right but the guy shouldn't be able to say oh I don't want a kid I just wanted fun and get off easily with it.

[ErikT]

It's not a double standard. A female goes through ALOT regardless of whether she has an abortion, gives the baby up or keeps the baby. What does the man go through? NOTHING!! How is that a double standard?

 

How can you even say that? Physically, yes the woman handles it all 100%, no argument from me. But emotionally I would say that the man feels as much as the woman. We don't have the hormones running through us, so we might not react the same way, but I was as emotional as my wife during her last two pregnancies.

 

So in your opinion, a man can have no emotional attachment to an unborn child that is aborted or a child that is put up for adoption? Sorry, but I find that absurd and insulting.

 

Erik

[Mythical_Suicide]

How can you even say that? Physically, yes the woman handles it all 100%, nor agrument from me. But emotionally I would say that the man feels as much as the woman. We don't have the hormones running through us, so we might not react the same way, but I was as emotional as my wife during her last two pregnacies.

 

So in your opinion, a man can have no emotional attachment to an unborn child that is aborted or a child that is put up for adoption? Sorry, but I find that absurd and insulting.

 

Erik

 

I didn't say all men were like that or that it wasn't possible however it is a lot easier for a man to up and walk away without any emotional attachments than it is a female. No matter how you try to argue it.

I'm sorry your ex did what she did and I can imagine how bad it hurt you but 9 times out of 10 the man can walk scot-free whereas the female is left with the most of the burden and baggage (if you can even call it that..)

[Jelina]

I'm not saying that the guy shouldn't be responsible, and I'm not talking about guys just taking it off mid way. I think both should be responsible. I just don't think it's right to have unprotected sex and then just have an abortion because you didn't want it. The guy can run away from this ordeal way easier than a girl, and they know that, so why can't she just say no when it's unprotected sex?

[Jelina]

Saying that was a bit harsh.. While I am anti abortion for the most part that's a bit much don't you think?

.

 

I know it was harsh, but isn't that what they are doing? I think abortion shouldn't be taken lightly at all and it feels like the majority of people do. I remember being in 8th grade and girls in my class already had abortions. I think abortion should only be made in special cases like rape, and so on.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I know it was harsh, but isn't that what they are doing? I think abortion shouldn't be taken lightly at all and it feels like the majority of people do. I remember being in 8th grade and girls in my class already had abortions. I think abortion should only be made in special cases like rape, and so on.

 

I agree with you completely and like I said, I am against abortion when used as birth control pretty much.

[Anonymous122]

My son's father makes pretty damn good money.. However I only see a small portion of that not nearly enough to help raise a child. His food alone costs me twice what I get in child support. It takes alot more than money to raise a child though. So even if I was getting $1000 a month, it wouldn't make any difference other than extra money because my son doesn't see money all he sees is his father not wanting anything to do with him because he has better things to do with his time.

 

 

I'm skeptical about the financial aspect. Did you get a good lawyer? You should be entitled to 1/4th of his income at minimum. You can usually push for 1/3rd if you get a good enough lawyer.

 

Certainly there are emotional aspects for the child. I know, I grew up in a single parent (mother) home, I only ever met my dad a couple times, and I was always curious why he didn't want anything to do with me.

 

He can't be forced to spend time with his family, but he certainly can be forced to pay you a decent sum of money in order to ensure a smooth upbringing for the child.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I'm skeptical about the financial aspect. Did you get a good lawyer? You should be entitled to 1/4th of his income at minimum. You can usually push for 1/3rd if you get a good enough lawyer.

 

Certainly there are emotional aspects for the child. I know, I grew up in a single parent (mother) home, I only ever met my dad a couple times, and I was always curious why he didn't want anything to do with me.

 

He can't be forced to spend time with his family, but he certainly can be forced to pay you a decent sum of money in order to ensure a smooth upbringing for the child.

 

Even with a lawyer, it isn't guaranteed. As I said, I get decent money (More than alot of people get..) even still it isn't nearly half of what it costs to raise a child.

[equinox]

It's an interesting situation alright. I think that if a man gets a woman pregnant then he has a responsibility to her and his child. Sure it takes two to create but it's the honourable thing to do.

 

As the child is growing inside the female, that would give her some more sway but I firmly believe that both have equal rights to be parents of the child and that the infants needs MUST come before both parents.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I think the fact that she's keeping it and forcing the guy to be with her makes her the baddie. You should only be with someone because you want to, not because you have to (or feel it's honourable).

 

How is she forcing him? Is he shackled, imprisoned in the house? Was he tasered and then wed while still twitching? You cannot force a grown person to do anything they don't want to do for whatever reason.

 

These men want to do this because they believe it's the honorable thing to do. That was their motive. If that girl wanted him to stay and he didn't want to be there on some level, there's nothing she could do to make him stay.

 

We know what sex has the potential of creating. We know that no birth control is 100% effective. thereforee, we know the risks. If we don't wish to risk it, then we can masturbate. We all have to be responsible for what do to get our sexual needs met.

 

Truly, if someone wants to leave the situation, they can do so. They have that choice. If they're really that unhappy, then someday, those men will exercise that option.