Advice

[seeker1]

I was thinking about contacting my ex and giving her a company xmas gift. I am a realtor and helped buy her a house while we were dating. I am supposed to give these gifts to our past clients. I still miss her greatly, but don't know if this is the best idea. What do you think?

[Amasa]

How long has it been since ya'll talked or had contact?

[seeker1]

couple of weeks, before that it was a month.

[Amasa]

Ok then how long as it been since ya'll broke up? Did she break it off?

 

What happened the last time you had contact? Was is good or bad?

[High5girl]

If you are questioning whether or not this is a good idea and it's part of your job to give gifts to past clients...then keep the gift simple and at a business level.

 

Not sure why you two broke up, but it doesn't sound like you two are on a friendship level right now due to the lack of contact.

[IndigoEye]

"I am supposed to give these gifts to our past clients."

 

- As far as this part goes, irrelevant.

[seeker1]

Here is a past post of what happened.

Well I have been dating this women for a little over six months. For the first five months, we had a great time. She was very attached, and we spent what time we could together. She has a daughter in High School, so her schedule was kind of hectic until her daughter got a car.

 

I have to admit that she has been married once and her husband (father of her child) left her and went back to his ex after two weeks of marriage with her. She did take him back and they were married for 7yrs.(this was 13 yrs ago). Well I took this all in and tried to be Mr. Nice guy. Wanted to show her that I was not going anywhere. Well it turned into me being Mr. Needy instead! We talked everyday on the phone and saw each other about two to three times a week. I always was the one to call and always the one to ask her out. Well the last month was just horrible, we saw each about once a week, and she was very distant. I finally brought up were this relationship was going. She said that she did not want to sacrifice herself and she was not sure if she could be in a close relationship.

 

The end started last Sunday. I gave her a call and she did not call back. So I tried again. This was very strange, because she always returned my calls. I sent her a text saying that I was worried and if she was ok, no reply. Finally on that Tuesday, I left her a voice mail stating that this was unfair and that I deserved better, and that her not returning my calls was disrespectful. She called back that day, and apologized. She was going to her girlfriends house for a dinner party, and would call me when she got home. Well she called and I explained that I felt what she had done was disrespectful and not do it again. She apologized and said ok.

 

Well that Thursday she calls and apologized again and said that she was sorry for being a b#tch, and that this was not who she was and did not want to hurt me. So she said the best thing to do was just break it off, because she did not feel that she could not commit fully. I did not get upset, I tried to say let’s just give it time, but she wanted no part. So we ended the call on good terms. We set up a time for the next week for me to drop off her stuff and pick up mine. She just wanted to stay home for the weekend and rest. I agreed and said next week would be fine. Well I got antsy and wanted closure so I called her on Sunday and said I wanted to come by and get my stuff. So when I went over there, I did not beg, did not even talk about the relationship, I just picked up my stuff, told her to take care, and said see ya! Went into NC for a month. Contacted her a few weeks ago.

[Amasa]

I'm sorry, I'm misreading your time line somehow.....

 

So did you pick up your stuff last Sunday and then started your month of NC? Then when did you contact her?

 

Was that the last time you talked to her? Have you called or seen her since?

 

Sorry I know I'm asking a million questions.

[ErikT]

So you dated her for 6 months, and broke up a month and a half ago...

 

Send her the gift just like you would send any other client. No special card, no special words, etc.

 

Keep it business and get on with your life.

 

Were you dating when she decided to buy a house, or did you meet her when she was looking and then started dating? Just curious...

[Amasa]

Ohh ok I missed that somehow. I totally agree with ErikT.

[seeker1]

we were dating before.