Work banter - should I tell them how I felt?

[girlie219]

I work with 5 colleagues very closely and we have quite a lot of banter and teasing in the office. Admittedly I can be the instigator of a lot of it. We're all quite young too (early twenties) and female.

 

However, we went to our work do recently and I just felt like i was teased all night and it made me feel really uncomfortable. I don't know if it was also alcohol that made me feel like that but I just thought it was a bit much really.

 

Is it a good idea to say something about this? i have only known these colleagues for about 6 months but i felt it was all directed at me. Unfortunately I thought the banter would be left at the office but it wasn't and it would make me think twice about going to any social events with them again.

 

Help

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think you shouldn't say anything. My philosophy is that if you can dish it out you better be able to take it. In other words, now that you know you can't handle it, when you are in the office no longer instigate and just keep the conversations about every day happenings rather than teasing banter. You can't pick and choose when you feel it is appropriate...it is quite possible these people continued to needle you because perhaps they were tired of it from you during work.

[loulee]

That may be the best way to approach it... Wait until next time you are asked out and say lightly 'Oh no I wont be coming Im not setting myself up to be teased again like last time it got way too uncomfortable, its fun at work but not when your out socially'...and perhaps also you may need to keep a check on how much teasing you are instigating at work ...I would probably make your teasing more occasional than regularly..this may have been the girls Sweet revenge!! perhaps they felt you have being goiing way overboard at work, some may have been offended as indeed you have....people can be clicky in the work place...its best to just get along and not create atmospheres that can turn against you..

[agent1607307371]

Unfortunately I thought the banter would be left at the office but it wasn't and it would make me think twice about going to any social events with them again.

 

When you are together you have to accept that the group will be the same regardless of environment.

 

I'd suggest limiting the time you spend with them socially, or view it as more work.

[COtuner]

I'm with CAD. I have folks at work that I can pick on a bit, but they send it back my way too. Most of my friends are guys, but there are some females. The women and I do not have that relationship (not sure why) but the guys love it. They all get these goofy grins on their faces...

 

When they turn it back on me, I'll protest but I smile back. As long as I'm smiling they know they haven't gone too far. When they do get too close to the line, I'll hit them with a pointed shot that's just this side of true and they generally knock it off and we go on to some other discussion. I dunno, it works for us.

[girlie219]

Thanks for the advice, maybe i have been teasing too much, and i didn't realise how much i take it personally.

[Maya_A]

You seem like you didn't mean any harm at all with the office teasing, though maybe some of them at times felt like you did that night about the teasing, without your knowing about it.

 

Now having an idea from your own experience, what it can feel like to someone, it's probably a good idea to curb the teasing at work... Create a different daily energy - one that feels more consistently positive and supportive. If you go out with them again socially in a bit, then hopefully that is the energy that will be amongst you all.