Do you know if someone is your soulmate?

[scared and alone]

Is it like knowing you are in love or what? or DO you know? How can you tell?

[franfran]

Is there really such a thing as a soul mate? I am not so sure.

[waveseer]

I've never met my soulmate. I think soulmates are lovers who've committed to keeping it fresh.

[scared and alone]

I definitely believe in soulmates. The trick is finding them, hence this question.

[redhearts]

You just know, when you know you'll know.

[MyheartorHis]

Actually, soul mates are real. I met my soul mate when I was first born. He died 3 years ago and I will ALWAYS love him unconditionally and think about him every single day. I KNOW he is my soul mate. We both believed we were...

 

I believe there are people who can love someone, even enough to spend the rest of their lives with and be loyal and devoted. But there are soul mates, and I guess I was just one of the lucky few that found theirs.

[MyheartorHis]

People who believe in "soulmates" picture these partners as perfection and rarely believe in settling. Those who don't learn to settle in life often are the ones who die alone.

 

I guess I'll die alone...

[COtuner]

I've met my soulmate, but he was married to someone else, so twas not meant to be at this point in time. Maybe someday. It was a very different feeling than love, at least to me. It wasn't lust, it wasn't attraction or a crush, it was just this inner peace and knowing and a connection that I've never experienced again. And this was while friends.... guess I'll always wonder 'bout that.

[raining.stars]

Soulmates aren't about 'perfection' nobody is perfect. There are always going to be up and downs in any relationship, but it is about loving someone enough to see from both point of views and working through any problems, not just seeing a relationship what you can gain from it, but what you can contribute and how you will flourish in this life together. It is about meeting someone you love with all your heart, someone you can grow and learn from, someone you can grow with together, someone you can have fun with and also have deep and meaningfuls too. I knew I met my soulmate when I found all these things and we loved each other unconditionally, you don't find it overnight. Also I knew because you feel completely at home with this person, when you meet them you feel like you knew each other before and you are remeeting again in this life. MyHeartorhis - my soulmate also died.

[raining.stars]

it was just this inner peace and knowing and a connection that I've never experienced again..

 

well said! Like an inner peace and a knowing

[MyheartorHis]

MyHeartorhis - my soulmate also died.

 

I'm so sorry. I know it hurts... but it's nice to know there are others out there that know exactly how you feel. I've met a few people on here that lost their soul mates, too...

[spearntime]

My opinion would be that you haven't had sex, but you feel an amazing connection and you might have a feeling of "knowing them for years" or "an intense comfort and spiritual calm" when you are with them.

[rickybobby]

I've met my soulmate, but he was married to someone else, so twas not meant to be at this point in time. Maybe someday. It was a very different feeling than love, at least to me. It wasn't lust, it wasn't attraction or a crush, it was just this inner peace and knowing and a connection that I've never experienced again. And this was while friends.... guess I'll always wonder 'bout that.

 

I am in the same situation. I have recently met a woman who I think is my soulmate.... The only problem is we're married to other people. Neither one of us is happy with our marriages and we both have small children so we don't know how to proceed at this point... We are hoping that one day we could be together but at least right now its not feasible....

[Pegasus]

If there is such thing as soul mate than my ex is my soul mate - she's almost exact female copy of me (a bit better looking thought). We react the same to things, we communicate without words, we can't spend time away from each other (even our relationship didn't work at all).....that's it if you ask me.

[john4321]

i believe in soulmates, and they are not your ideal of perfection. they are the person that was meant to go through the journey of life with you. that are not afraid to tell you when you are wrong, to tell you the truth about yourself, and to help you become the person you were meant to be. they are the person that will be there for all the good times and also pick you up and get you through the bad times. and of course you will do all of this for them.

 

they are the person that can accept you for who you are good and bad, as you do them. they do not judge you, but instead help you grow.they are the person you want to call with good news, and want to see when the news is bad. they are the one person who will always be there no matter what.they will pick you up and carry you when needed, and are not afraid to be carried themsleves. they are who you want to grow old with, to experience life with as it unfold for both of you.

 

believe and you will find them, good luck

[heaven66]

Is it like knowing you are in love or what? or DO you know? How can you tell?

 

you will know...it's like you will know when you are in love...I will tell you this..alot of people don't believe in soul mates because they have never met theirs..but they are out there...I found mine really late in life but it was worth the wait...alot of people just settle and look no longer..I have to say i believe...

[tinydancer81]

i believe in soul mates, you know it from the minute you meet them, you know this is the person you have been waiting to meet all your life and suddenly all the pain and heartache you have experienced makes sense because it ultimatly bought you to this point now with this person who makes you feel like there is no other for you. You have no doubts about them and you know in your heart of hearts they are meant for you.

 

I call it Besheret.

[IndigoEye]

One might think of a soul mate like this:

 

I called my x, my soul mate, my Neapolitan cake. I love chocolate, vanilla is OK, but I hate strawberry. Here, you're not "keeping the strawberry to a minimum in whom you choose" as when you meet your soul mate, you're not choosing them. They're just suddenly there. You each know.

 

This is where the concept of "unconditional love" comes in. You mature toward this, or you don't. Hopefully, one day, they'll recognize your efforts and work with you. In such a case, a successful relationship would be if two people would each think of the other more than their self in every situation.

[stereoeclectic]

i don't believe in soulmates any more.

 

there are just people you can make it work with and people you can't. find one that you can make it work with.

[CrazyKing]

Is it like knowing you are in love or what? or DO you know? How can you tell?

I think a soulmate is someone who has simmilar spiritual views on life, like a simmilar thinking about what love is, etc, or in other words - the same wavelenght...

But that does not mean that a romantic or sexual relationship between both would be successful...

 

For example, my sign is scorpio, despite I heavily attract and am attracted by scorpio women, I don't really fit with them because we're trying to dominate each other - they are indeed soulmates, but I don't fit with them in the relationship thing...

[ghost69]

soulmates are people you can stand enough to last throughout your life with. i think there are several or 0 that we are presented in life; not 1.

[OrangeMoon]

Settling for me is, accepting my SO as my loved one..eventhough my heart might not be totally in it. Settling is a conscious almost businesslike state of mind. You agree with what you are getting, because you are tired of searching, disappointed a lot and your SO is good enough to make the choice to work at it. Will you be happy all the time? No..content..yes.

 

 

Compromising. Finding the love in your life you have waited for, but then realising they are just not all that perfect in the areas that might bother you. You might not like those areas, it might take some real effort from you, but all in all you have come to accept that you just can't have it perfect all the way. You love your SO to death, and are willing to compromise, because you can see the bigger picture between the two of you. You have made a decision to love, thereforee you compromise..

 

 

Soulmate.. when you go into a relationship fully naked emotionally, and once you step into the water..it feels like a real warm bath, covering your skin, soothing you, cleansing you...you are home..this is where you are supposed to be..finally

 

I do believe in soulmates, the beauty of it is that they are usually fairly close to you, otherwise there would not be that many people to find them. There are a lot of people on ENA who are here seeing the beauty in others, even though their SO's are posterpeople for broken souls...ENA-ers Who know about compromise, hurting, healing, communicating, growing, making it work. Now..what happens when one of us would actually meet our kindred spirit..the one who knows how special it is when someone loves you deeply?..

 

hmmm...

[Steve1]

Redhearts said >>

 

That is the truth. I knew that whoever my husband/Soulmate was - he was in Texas. Knew this somehow - not sure how since around the age of 18.

 

I lived in Oregon - grew up there. Planned to move away after college (and I did) but NOT to Texas - no desire to go there whatsoever. That was a problem.

 

I told friends and family for several years that whoever he was, he was in Texas - just not sure how I would meet/reconnect with him.

 

I love to tell this story - today it makes me very sad but I really love to tell this.

 

About 2 years after college, I have been living and working in California. I move to Houston Texas to do a temporary job for about 3 months.

 

Unexpectedly liked it there - unexpectedly stuck around for awhile.

 

Every man I would meet I would wonder if he was the one.

 

Ended up with a man for a little over a year - same last name as mine coincidentally. I thought that maybe he was it. Ended poorly.

 

I rebounded - more like a fling with another man - served us both well at the time for about 3 months. He slammed me into a brick wall one night during an argument - I fell down and just sat there. I felt total despair at that moment. I said out loud "I did it again. I will never be with anyone."

 

I knew by then that this Soulmate thing was total bulls**t.

 

I prepared for a life of being single. Convincing myself that it would be ok, or at least not horrible. Not what I really wanted but it was not horrible and I was still in my late twenties and definitely enjoying my sex life.

 

During this time in Houston, before being resigned to being alone for the rest of my life, I was always on the lookout for whoever my Soulmate might be. Had lots of dates and introductions where I thought "I wonder if he is it."

 

My style of showing interest in men was very direct. I was young and out for lots of sex with hot men - enjoying life while I anticipated this incredible event (reconnection with my Soulmate).

 

So I find myself in that sad time where I know that I fooled myself. Maybe I was delusional. I went to counseling to deal with the bad relationship. I had a major issue arise in my career - my life's work as an ER and Intensive Care Trauma Registered Nurse. I hated my work as a result.

 

I was in a very dark place.

 

There was this man. I saw him at the gym and out at the bars, ocasionally at a coffee shop. Did not speak but I wanted to have sex with him.

 

I could not approach him for anything. Don't know why. I even wondered "who in the hell is he anyway - not my usual type but certainly would not kick him out of bed."

 

A friend of mine new him casually and introduced us one night. The interaction was very brief - the dinner date was set.

 

I thought "what a novelty, I am actually going to spend time taking a man out to dinner before I take him home for sex."

 

A few days later we are sitting at a table at La Strada restaurant in Houston.

 

I was told by a few people that knew from already having had the experience themselves.

 

You will just know when you reconnect with him.

 

And right there at that table - I can't explain it at all, but I really just knew. I could not believe it but it was happening. The primary thoughts and - more like the overwhelming feeling was "oh, there you are again - I am so happy we found each other again, now lets get on with this life together."

 

During this time in my life a lot of things made sense leading up to that moment. I can't explain it but they did.

 

Another interesting thing - I was very much a young health and horny typical young male. If we go to dinner, it means sex is included - but why bother with dinner - maybe after, or before and after - or during : )

 

For the only time in my life I felt that to have sex with him before it was time would be completely disrespectful. I had no idea when it was going to happen and although I was attracted to him physically, I was in no hurry. It would happen when the time was right, whenever that time was going to be.

 

It happened about a month later.

 

I did make sure to check in and get evaluated with the counselor I had seen before. While I knew that what I was feeling was real, being a healthcare provider, I was also aware of major chemical imbalances and new onset of certain mental illnesses.

 

I told the counselor that I needed her objective and professional evaluation.

 

I knew that we have been together forever.

I had no problem with moving in with him right as soon as my lease was up. His place was closer for him to get to work - I was doing home infusion so my work included driving all over Houston.

I knew that none of this sounded rational and that it should be up to an experienced mental health clinician to decide if I needed some further evaluation and maybe treatment.

 

My counselor said that she did not detect any evidence of mental illness or chemical imbalance.

 

There was not that sense that everything was wonderful like you feel in a limerance. But I was very happy that this was real and that we had reconnected.

 

It felt like something really big had happened but it was also very matter of fact at the same time.

 

Several things happened in the months that follow that are fairly long stories themselves - very good things related to knowing that we really are more than our physical bodies.

 

We went to the cemetery where his mother's body was buried. Huge cemetery - no clue where to begin to look. I don't know why but I just closed my eyes briefly and said lead me to her grave marker - I started to walk - veered a little off to the left and within about 3 minutes I was there.

 

Then another very significant experience within about a month of our reconnection - again too long for details but I told the story to one of my graduate school instructors who I figured would not think I was totally crazy and just might know what I had experienced.

 

She smiled and nodded a lot all the way through my telling of the events that happened over a period of a few days. (I almost thought - yep, she thinks I am totally nuts and she is hoping to just get away from me asap LOL)

 

She said that it was an initiation. It was a series of natural and spiritual events and connections that occurred in a sequence. More direct evidence for me that I knew that what I was feeling and knowing through all of this was real.

 

Then there were the things that are probably just coincidence - but the same type of clothes, shoes - same size, similar cups, plates.

 

After this reconnection a person who knows told me that we were still going to have to experience our other half objectively as another person. That it was still a relationship.

 

I remember how incredibly painful our first big argument and issue was when it occurred. Leaving was not an option - many would say of course it was an option - but for me, not really. I stayed and we had to work through it. It really did not get resolved for about 2 years.

 

He left me twice -once after a little more than a year and then around five years - each time for a little more than a month.

 

We have had a mostly incredible time together. Lived in several large cities, traveled to Asia, Europe, all over the US.

 

The darkness came.

 

It started getting really bad over the past year - very stressful - financial trouble, almost becoming homeless a couple of times. Several unexpected and abrupt needs to relocate - often up to 300 miles from where we were.

 

Drinking to excess - and something I never dreamed in a million years - physically hitting each other. Something that everyone says is an absolute end to a relationship - whether I am in denial or not, it does not mean our relationship must end for the rest of this life.

 

Finances were starting to stabilize last month, housing was relatively stable - in fact pretty damn stable. We started arguing less and we had fun together again for several days leading up to and through Thanksgiving. Sex life just got even better with time and it was very good from the start.

 

I got up the day after Thanksgiving, kissed him goodbye, went to work for the usual 12 hours.

 

Came home -

 

He was gone.

 

Back to Texas (staying with family)

 

Left a brief note saying he left and that it was for the best as we both know (I never said that).

 

He only took a few clothes and some personal documents - nothing else. We had about $150 between the two of us - he basically had almost no money. His family is not wealthy.

 

I have not spoken to him - and have not tried to contact him since he left.

 

He tried to call late one night about a week after he left but no message and no more attempts to call.

 

So that is my experience and a brief description of the reconnection, recognition, and relationship with my Soulmate during this life.

 

You will just know.

 

Steve

[rachel blond]

WOW, thats just drepressing...thats what Im so afraid of, finally letting my guard down and trusting someone, and then them leave me...yet again!!

[Steve1]

Rachel Blond >>

 

Yes it is very sad. I would like to think that it is not over for this life with him.

 

As far as trusting someone and letting your guard down - it was my experience that when I found and recognized my Soulmate, worries about getting hurt were irrelevant. He was and always will be my Soulmate.

 

If we must continue this life separated physically that would be very sad but I have to accept it after grieving and processing what is necessary to give some completion to this time we had together. I do not want to go on suffering for the rest of my life.

 

Steve.