I hate my ex!!!

[kindasad]

He broke up with me, I was ok with it, then he spent 2 months contacting me and dropping "I love you's" and "I miss you's" in his texts and calls. I never contacted him during this 2 month period. Then it all stops all of a sudden when he meets someone new. Since then I have been more worked up than after the actual breakup. It's like he did this until he had a safe landing and he didn't care to think how this would leave me.

 

If he had just left me alone right after the breakup we could have both been on the same recovery trajectory at least!

[waveseer]

So you took him for granted AFTER the relationship was over?

[laisla]

of course it will stop after he finds someone new...you didn't respond so he had to move on.

but i totally understand your anger at him....***hug***

[kindasad]

So you took him for granted AFTER the relationship was over?

 

Of course I did, he broke up with me. I wasn't going to beg him back, but he should have just left me alone rather than using me as an emotional crutch. I'm angry because this whole thing caused me to find out about the new relationship. If he had just left me alone I wouldn't have known anything and just went about my business.

[kindasad]

of course it will stop after he finds someone new...you didn't respond so he had to move on.

but i totally understand your anger at him....***hug***

 

Well I didn't respond cuz he broke up with me and he was saying he loved me and missed me but he didn't exactly ask me back, so I didn't really have anything to do but politely respond right?

[littlestar]

He has somewhere else to divert his attention to, when she's out of his life he'll be back again.

[John Bendix]

Littlestar,

 

If you have read the thread "Relationship with X", you have seen a little of the drama (believe me, only the tip of the iceberg) I still have to deal with after just under 3 years ago since she left. To be sure, mine is a severe case with many emotional issues.

 

It is on going but I try not to react to her seemingly, unwarranted actions. It comes in waves and there is no telling what precepitates it. Like a wave, I just dunk under and let it go right past me, harmlessly. If I stand up to the wave (react), it will do nothing but crash down on me and cause me harm. When the next wave comes, I will be prepared not to react to it inside.

 

Reacting to his actions is the only way that can bring you suffering. The emotional pain can come from nowhere else but from your emotional responses.

[john4321]

take care of yourself first, and let the anger go, it will only hurt you. heal yourself and a new life is possible.

[waveseer]

Of course I did, he broke up with me. I wasn't going to beg him back, but he should have just left me alone rather than using me as an emotional crutch. I'm angry because this whole thing caused me to find out about the new relationship. If he had just left me alone I wouldn't have known anything and just went about my business.

 

Sorry, now I understand better. As some ena members have told me, my bedside manners could use a little work.

 

I had a relationship that wasn't completely over, at least not officially, but there were irreconcileable differences and the contact had slowed way down. He told me he missed me and I came unglued! How dare he tell me that when he didn't miss me enough to actually be with me. I was livid. So this is what I don't recommend, I sent several emails over the next 24 hour period detailing everything he ever did that I didn't like. lol I don't mean to be so melodramatic but his audacity incited a riot in my guts. So, I guess I do know what you're going through after all. It will start to get better now that you aren't getting any more information.

[kindasad]

Sorry, now I understand better. As some ena members have told me, my bedside manners could use a little work.

 

I had a relationship that wasn't completely over, at least not officially, but there were irreconcileable differences and the contact had slowed way down. He told me he missed me and I came unglued! How dare he tell me that when he didn't miss me enough to actually be with me. I was livid. So this is what I don't recommend, I sent several emails over the next 24 hour period detailing everything he ever did that I didn't like. lol I don't mean to be so melodramatic but his audacity incited a riot in my guts. So, I guess I do know what you're going through after all. It will start to get better now that you aren't getting any more information.

 

OK thanks. I guess I may be overreacting a little, I mean it's not like he said horrible things to me. But I feel the same way. If he can't commit to the relationship, and he dumped me, he shouldn't be proactively telling me he loves me and misses me. I mean I wasn't telling him those things after the breakup. I did everything I could (no contact) to help him move on when he was hurt after the breakup and he didn't afford me the same opportunity. Then after 2 months of contacting me he leaves me hanging again as soon as he finds someone new. I feel like I was re-dumped all over again. And when I confronted him on this, he didn't think he did anything wrong. I asked him if he wanted to get back after he stopped the contact and he said no and "he didn't want to lead me on" - that's when I found out he had just started seeing someone new. I feel like if he didn't want to lead me on he shouldn't have been contacting me for 2 months. Even though he broke up with me, I was initially the one who was cool with the breakup, he seemed to take it worse, now after the back and forth he totally turned the tables and it just makes me grind my teeth that he says he doesn't want to lead ME on. Somehow that's all he did that made me so distraught about a relationship and breakup that I initially was not head over heals over.

[kindasad]

He has somewhere else to divert his attention to, when she's out of his life he'll be back again.

 

I hope not. We got into a fight so I'm hoping that this will make him think twice about contacting me after they break up (if they even do). I do worry that they might break up and he might contact me again though, because the whole thing is kind of crazy, he's dating someone long distance, about 3,000 miles away and neither of them can move because they're both in school for at least the next 2 years.

[kindasad]

Oh and the other thing about getting more information that is really annoying me is that he keeps putting videos he is making to this new person on facebook which he knows I will see. He did this after an initial fight and I called him on it and he took it down. Now he is doing it again. I don't go on facebook anymore or just ignore his profile status updates, but it's really annoying that he's making these videos public, it seems like he's doing it to upset me because he could just email the videos directly. He only has 5 or 6 friends on facebook, so it's not like anyone else is going to be viewing these videos but me!

[waveseer]

I agree that he used you to get over you. This may sting, but you never had to let him do that. Even though my reaction was way over the top, he never did anything like that to me ever again. It wasn't pretty, but I sent a clear message that his words were not having the desired effect at all. Eventually we were out of contact and it really did start to get better. Remember, he can only jerk you around if you let him.