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Qualities you find attractive.

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I've already done the topic on the qualities I don't want in a so, now for the qualities I do want. In no particular order:


- Smiles often, very often.

- Takes most things in stride.

- Genuinely cares about people.

- Isn't afraid to act silly, thinks it's cute when I do.

- Loves to try new things.

- Either spontaneous or at the minimum flexible.

- Open-minded and always revising personal opinions base on new information.

- Can look at the exact same situation a new way, and wants to.

- Doesn't have to *try* to be supportive, it's a personality trait.

- Can express concern without assigning anxiety or negativity.

- Knows how to be safely pissed off, not hurting others or himself.

- Willing to resolve issues instead of ignoring them.

- Doesn't have to pretend to care how I feel.


That's what comes to mind at the moment. What are the qualities you find attractive?

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- spontaneous

- generous

- funny!

- wonders about many things, inquisitive mind

- treats his family with a lot of respect

- has an innocence to his personality (i don't mean naive..)

- likes kids and animals

- is smarter than me in some things and teaches me

- forgiving

- a bit of shyness

- either talented in : dancing, poetry, or freestyling

- has his own sense of style. but doesn't dress too much

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-is funny and can make me laugh

-smiles alot

-goofy and not afraid to act silly at times





-not one to follow the crowd


-not judgemental

-open minded


-good looking

-is able to speak his mind and have intelligent conversations

... lots more but thats all i can think of at the moment


and amazingly, i managed to find someone who has all those qualities!

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Yeah but if you truly love someone, you are the prettiest, the smartest thing on the planet...it's in the eye of the beholder.


for beauty i agree that it's in the eye of the beholder. but i know that i am not the smartest person on the planet, that's a given. however what i meant was...when i ask if he thinks another girl is hot, i'd rather hear him say "she's got nothing on you" than the truth. it's just cute to me, not realistic of course.

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I need a total goof!

Someone who is adventurous...or at least willing to consider jumping out of a plane with me

Someone who wants to travel and go places

Someone I can learn new things from, be it a sport, a language, an instrument, you name it

Someone who is creative in any way, shape or form

Someone who is carefree

Someone who loves life

Someone AMBITIOUS....something I've never had in a man before

Someone who isn't afraid to speak his mind

Someone who can take a joke and not get offended by sarcasm, this is very important

Someone who can embrace acting like a weirdo and not care what other people think

Preferably a snowboarder?


Am I getting too specific here? Oh well. I'm sure he's out there...

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Will you marry me...cause you seem to be my perfect match! In every thing you've posted on what you're looking for. LOL

Can we look past gender here? hahaa


I've often thought a wife would be the ideal mate for me. Do you mind a sexless marriage where we can take vacations or weekends without each other?

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I've often thought a wife would be the ideal mate for me. Do you mind a sexless marriage where we can take vacations or weekends without each other?


Oh yes. Maybe we can have an open marriage so we can fulfill our sexual needs elsewhere? Oh...and do you like the Caribbean? We could go together, and have separate cabana boys?

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Oh yes. Maybe we can have an open marriage so we can fulfill our sexual needs elsewhere? Oh...and do you like the Caribbean? We could go together, and have separate cabana boys?


I'd be happy to go to the Caribbean, you hang out with your cabana boy, I'll be in the water from sunup till sundown.

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Im afraid to post my list here...I might get flamed, or it might not fit in the "maximum length per post limit" lol


I just find it funny when people write things like "I want a sweet caring person" or "I want someone with a sense of humor or who is funny" -- I dunno, havent heard too many people ever say "Neh, Im not really into people that are sweet and caring" or "Neh being funny isnt really that important"


But I like ready2heal's list, because she took common things almost everybody looks for, and put a little elaboration on them, good work, I like the list...


Ive been trying to come up with a list myself, because that is one of the parts of moving on after being with the same person for so long, figuring out what it is you want in someone again, and going out there and trying to find it.


Also, I think in some of our cases, an important thing to put into this list on a negative side, is possibly things we've learned from previous relationships that we didnt like in a person, so the next time around if we meet someone with similar qualities that we realized didnt work out so well in the past, we can exit from a relationship early on before it gets serious and save both people the trouble. NOTE - this isnt always the case because sometimes theres enough good in someone new to look past certain negative qualities, but without having the hope that someday they'll change, because we cant control the thoughts and behavior of others besides ourselves

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Don't be afraid to post your list. It's not really for us, although it can help other people, it's really for you to solidify your priorities when it comes to qualities in an so that would really make your heart sing.


What I've learned about the negative qualities is that I almost always notice them, but in the past I've not given them enough importance. I've made excuses and sacrificed my standards over things that later turned out to be really important. For example, if a man can't dance that's not ideal but it's okay. If a man doesn't work or go to school or both, that's not okay.


I'd really like to hear your list.

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- Very funny, but knows how to be serious when the time calls.

- Giving (not gifts but emotionally and sexually).

- Head on his shoulders.

- Creative and energetic.

- It's always a plus if they are in shape a bit.

- Sweet, but not a sweet talker.

- Easy going and isn't demanding.

- Just likes to have fun and be outdoors.

- Oh, and great smile!

- Not egotistical and is genuine.

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I know this topic is a popular one, I think I've even posted it before myself. So my next question is, as you get further and further away from you last relationship and close and closer to your next relationship, does your list evolve? How does it change?


Mine has gotten much more day-to-day relational and much less character virtuey.

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i like to keep my list to character virtues because i'm flexible with the little things - the way he smiles, for e.g. not every bf i've had was the same, but they've all had MOST of the qualities i've mentioned before. their uniqueities (if that's a word) made me like them for who they are. i never had a dream guy in my mind, but i did have a few things they needed for me to like them.

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I'm sure my list mirrors everyone else's give or take a few things, but something I've been paying attention to lately is the importance of family. I like a girl who can appreciate her family and puts them first rather than placing a big emphasis on how fun her friends can be as opposed to her family. You only get one. Appreciate it. Especially if they've been nothing but good to you. Family is super important to me despite all of the silly and serious quarrels that go on between us. That's the one thing that really bugged me about my ex, her friends were always more important.

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-Doesn't tell me how to dress, who to hang out with, what time to be home by etc..

-Doesn't try to impress his religion upon me



-Accepts the fact that I do not want to be around him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

-Affectionate, likes public displays of affection

-Open to try new things

-Would consider adoption as a viable option for starting a family

-Remembers special occasions

-Has a slight materialistic side (how else will he enjoy the gifts I want to lavish upon him

-Loves to be a kid sometimes

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-Good Listener


-Laid Back

-Satisfaction With Basic Needs [ ie. Not Always Wanting More, More, More... ]

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fluent in english, mother tougue and dialect

can sing, act, dance



able to publicly display affection


tough (able to do outdoor activities or backpack)



able to see things beneath the surface


street smart



great legs (i am sucker for heels)


well informed


not spoilt


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