I want him for Christmas.

[MyheartorHis]

The more I think about what kind of guy I want, the more frustrated I get! Every guy that comes into my life (even if I do end up liking him a little), I never really like them enough to put a lot into things so I don't even try out a relationship. I'm starting to think I have set my standards a little too high, and I'm asking for too much from a guy.

 

I want a guy who can teach me things, and is just as eager to learn as I am (loves to read). It would be amazing if he was outdoorsy, and liked cars, hunting, mudding, 4-wheelers, dirt bikes, streets makes, and all that stuff like I do! If he didn't, I don't know how we would get along because all that stuff is what I do on a regular basis and couldn't imagine my life without them. I also want a guy who doesn't do the "normal" first dates... or any "normal" dates for that matter. Sure dinner and a movie would be nice once in a blue moon... but let's get out and do something! Oh, and if I could find a guy who liked to travel, I'd be head over heels! And I NEED a guy who has his head on right, and knows his priorities. It's such a turn off if I get can't get his life straight. I've worked so hard to get my life going and I won't let all that go to waste or end up down the drain.

 

Everything I said up there is just too much to ask for these days. Most of the time when I tell a guy I like something like that, they pretend to be interested and when it comes down to me planning a hiking trip in the mountains... they suddenly aren't interested. It just sucks...

 

So Santa, if it's possible...

 

Can you please send me this perfect guy for me all ready? I've waiting for him to come around and I'm not a very patient person.

[Balbina]

Don't lower your standards...but, at the same time. try not to have unrealistic expectations. You obviously know what you want but sometimes it takes some time to get to know a person to figure out they're right for you.

 

I knew my boyfriend for 6 years...and only about 6 months before we started dating did I get to know him better and developed a kinship with him. I didn't know just how compatible we were for the longest time and I'd hate to think that I'd disregarded him for so long because he didn't "Seem" like my type.

 

Keep your eyes - and heart - open!

[Batya33]

I read a book once (I think it was for women over 35) which suggested trying to get your list of "must haves" down to the bare minimum. I am reminded of a guy I knew many years ago who almost broke up with his now wife because she was not outdoorsy and specifically didn't want to go camping. They've been happily married for almost 20 years.

[heaven66]

I read the book The Secret and what i did was a made a poster board with all the things i want in my future...it helps alot to be positive and think that it will all be the way you want it. Im hoping..lol

[JadedStar]

I agree with batya. Get that list of must haves down to a bare minimum because it is very hard to find someone who possesses a huge list of your wants.

 

I had a few critical must haves and the rest can be worked thru. I don't have to like the exact same things as my SO, but i do think my being flexible and showing interest in those things is nice just like he does for me.

 

But i will never like to golf, and he will never like to build dollhouses...but we still have had some interesting convos about both topics!

[MyheartorHis]

Balbina and Batya33, I know I wouldn't have so many expectations but even if I try not to have them... I'll have them anyway. I guess that's something I really need to work on.

 

But the thing that really makes me frustrated about most of the guys I get interested in, they LIE about being interested in the things that I am... Uggggh it makes me so angry!!!

[veneratio]

Not too much to ask for at all. Come visit for a bit, those guys are in abundance over here. I'll set you up .

 

But seriously, I know what you mean. It gets so frustrating. My ex was probably the most unique girl I ever met. She was into all that outdoor stuff, could fix anything on anyone's car, and appreciated the beauty of certain cars/trucks. I loved it. She was always down for 4wheelin, muddin, paintball, whatever. My kind of girl. Now I cant find that. I may find some that like my hobbies, but they're never mature enough and never know which direction they want to go. One or the other, never both. It sucks. Hang tight, though, he'll come around.

[MyheartorHis]

Not too much to ask for at all. Come visit for a bit, those guys are in abundance over here. I'll set you up .

 

But seriously, I know what you mean. It gets so frustrating. My ex was probably the most unique girl I ever met. She was into all that outdoor stuff, could fix anything on anyone's car, and appreciated the beauty of certain cars/trucks. I loved it. She was always down for 4wheelin, muddin, paintball, whatever. My kind of girl. Now I cant find that. I may find some that like my hobbies, but they're never mature enough and never know which direction they want to go. One or the other, never both. It sucks. Hang tight, though, he'll come around.

 

Haha I wish it was that easy so you could just set me up! But dang, your ex girlfriend sounds just like me! Nice to know there are other girls that aren't into shopping and fashion 24/7!

[JadedStar]

Haha I wish it was that easy so you could just set me up! But dang, your ex girlfriend sounds just like me! Nice to know there are other girls that aren't into shopping and fashion 24/7!

 

 

There are a LOT of women like that.

[MyheartorHis]

There are a LOT of women like that.

 

Not where I'm from. I went to school with a bunch of kids that were so spoiled they still haven't gotten a job even years out of high school... talk about family money. But that's what all the girls were into, shopping... clothing... anything that has to do with looking pretty. I hung out with other kids in other high schools (mostly all boys) because they all had different interests than I did.

[Batya33]

It's not about "trying" not to feel a certain way - it's about choosing to change the way you react to your feelings so that you act in a more flexible way. The women I know are not like you described - just like Jadedstar posted.

[veneratio]

I just realized where you're from. That's crazy you can't find any guys down south like what you described.

[MyheartorHis]

I just realized where you're from. That's crazy you can't find any guys down south like what you described.

 

They aren't all "sweet southern" boys... I can tell you that for sure. I'm sure there are some (other than the ones I'm good friends with), but I guess there is no magnetic pull so I can at least meet them! Hahaha

[JadedStar]

Not where I'm from. I went to school with a bunch of kids that were so spoiled they still haven't gotten a job even years out of high school... talk about family money. But that's what all the girls were into, shopping... clothing... anything that has to do with looking pretty. I hung out with other kids in other high schools (mostly all boys) because they all had different interests than I did.

 

I think you are stereotyping. You see some women your age or other ages like this and are assuming most are that way. If you really were out there reaching out to a lot of different people you'd see that isn't true.

 

In every highschool accross america there are girls like you describe and there are a great number of girls who are nothing like that. they just are not getting the attention because they are not trying to one up everybody thus you are not noticing them. It is like that in every age group after highschool as well.

 

I agree with batya in that it might be more in how you choose to react to otherwise decent guys who just dno't share your interests. We don't have to like everything our SO does. Sometimes it makes life more interesting if we don't. You only need share a few of the top common values in life and only you can prioritize what those top few values are.

 

Don't confuse values with interests. They are not necessarily one and the same.

[MyheartorHis]

Okay, I gotta defend myself. I am 20 years old, not even two years out of high school. All I knew in high school, were girls like what I had posted previously. If there were any girls who were a lot like me, I did know them but they were rare. I'm not stereotyping at all when I talk about my high school and the girls there. I knew them all pretty well, and I know it's safe to say that I'm correct about them. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that we didn't enjoy the same things. Not many girls around here (THAT I KNOW) do.

 

Also, I know what I want in a guy... if I meet one that I do like and he isn't those things... then so be it. But I know what I want to look for, and those are it. I don't think that wanting all of those things is such a crime...

 

I have never dated anyone with ALL of things things above... and most likely never will. But they are something I do like to look for because they are important to me. I'll always look for those things while I'm looking... doesn't mean that's what I'll get and I understand that.