Sticky situation with bf - need help

[GingerSnapped]

I need to have a talk with my bf. I feel he resents me because we're "sharing" a job. He needs extra money to stay in school, and my place - a stay at home (legitimate!) business was hiring. He sent info to my supervisor, and then my supervisor never got back to him. So I suggested we just "share" mine - we'd split the hours down the middle and he'd get half the money. My mom's got end-stage breast cancer and this is a second job for me, so it made sense for me too to work fewer hours to spend as much time as possible with my mom.

 

He loves the job, but I feel he resents me somewhat because he didn't get it on his own. He's starting to do little passive-aggressive stuff around the house. And since the paycheck comes to me, since it is MY job, technically, I pay him, and I wonder if he feels weird about it - like he's stuck with me because he's working with me and I pay him money.

 

I really feel like I should talk to him but not sure what to say. It's not like he's openly hating me or anything - it's just an uncomfortable feeling I have.

[ghost69]

'are you okay with sharing this job? you seem to be agitated that you didn't get the job and i'm sorry you didn't. but i don't want you upset with me or anything.'

 

just try and talk to him about it. don't hound him like he's being a jerk though.

[alli]

What kind of passive-aggressive things is he doing?

 

I find passive-aggressiveness to be so annoying! It's like, "if you have a problem freaking tell me! Don't say nothing is wrong then go behind my back & try to F things up."

[catfeeder]

Not sure about this. Is he living with you, too?

 

I'd keep all talk about specifics rather than try to address anything based on generalities. If he leaves something a mess, address that alone. If he seems in a bad mood, maybe ask if there's something you can do to help.

 

Otherwise, your feeling about this is too abstract for him to correct--and it could just be an unworkable situation. If he's living with you, I'd maybe just give him the whole job and stay out of it. If he's not living with you, I'd ask him to begin searching for another job--this is just too much strain on both of you.

 

In your corner.