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My parents are like stressing me out!!!


Shyguy24

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Hey guys

 

I am 29 year old guy. My parents had major issues when i was growing up.

 

I was really young like 8yrs or so. Anyway i lived with all the pain and focused on my future.

 

I am a lawyer now and working for a successful big shot lawyer.

 

My parents are together now for almost the last 13yrs or so. We all live like a family and have gotten over whatever we went through.

 

The problem is that my parents are proud of me to the point it makes me sick. They are always looking at me as the perfect son.

 

If its not my career , then its my weight ..which by the way i am about 10 kilos overweight not really a problem.

 

I am very independent person with a very strong mindset ..i hate all the nagging all the time about my weight and stuff. They wantme to get married now ..so want me to shed the weight and stuff.

 

Cant i just be alone !!!! Dont i get respect for being a Adult.

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wish i could ..in ..indian culture its not that easy, you have a responsibility towards your parents ..i just wish there was someway i could tell them that i am doing alright and dont need the update on my life like everyday....ugh

 

i dont want to hurt there feelings but i cant take this either...

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hey Mindy thanks for the response.

 

Yeah in the whole Indian thing i have to live with them , all my life. Actually i am the only son , in the Indian thing the moving out does not exist.

 

I belong to a affluent family in my society so the pressure on me is even more.

 

I became a lawyer to have a different identity from my father , otherwise in India if your father is a businessman you automatically have to join the business.

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Nah i dont want to drag my relatives into this. They will just make it worse by saying "son they are your parents , you should listen to them , and ill be like What??? i am listning to them ..and they would be like no no , you must understand ...eeekss..see where i am headed!!

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OK, then i can't see any otherway (yet lol) apart from telling them how you feel, and pointing out that your doing well, and reassure them that if you need them you'll talk to them, but that there stifling you, and that your 29. Do you think they know they are annoying you?

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hey Mindy thanks for the response.

 

Yeah in the whole Indian thing i have to live with them , all my life. Actually i am the only son , in the Indian thing the moving out does not exist.

 

I belong to a affluent family in my society so the pressure on me is even more.

 

I became a lawyer to have a different identity from my father , otherwise in India if your father is a businessman you automatically have to join the business.

 

When you get married your new spouse moves in with you at your parents? You guys don't move into your new house?

 

I knew this guy from India that was in flight school to become a pilot & moved to the US while in school. Your profession is a little different in that you can do it at home. Maybe you can think of a reason that you HAVE to move away for a while.. schooling in another country or something. Just to give yourself a break.

 

As for the weight, 10 kilos is about 20 lbs so that isn't too bad, but it would be beneficial to your health, especially as you get older, to be in a healthy weight range. Not for the reason that it would make you look better but because it will help your blood pressure, decrease risk of diabetes, decrease fatty buildup in arteries thus helping your heart.. basically help you to live a longer life. Not to mention that working out helps manage stress.

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Hi shy guy, I come from an Indian family myself, and can empathise. Sorry to hear about your dad, I guess that does make it harder to leave or tell them you want to leave.

 

I think the poster above has a good idea, as you have a good job maybe you can get a house next door or down the street. You could always tell them that you want to be close to them, but you want to have some privacy when you get married, and want to look good for prospective daughter-in-laws. Haha, you never know it could work!

 

I was living off at university and have just moved back home and am finding it an utter nightmare. They just won't leave me alone! My mum nags me over everything and my dad won't let me out as if I'm 15 again. I think for Indian parents marriage is sadly everything, grrrr....

 

Please feel free to moan anytime!

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Going with what the poster above said.

 

Tell your parents you would have a better chance at finding a spouse if you had your own place, because its a lets say little strange to be 29 and living with your parents. Your dad is ill, so you need to be there, but that is fine, if you lived a short distance away. As for the weight, you can say it is the stress of your dads illness.

 

Take small steps to making time for yourself, maybe go out more often or stay out a little later.

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