Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

[ImThatGirl]

Just because I'd like to have a better understanding....

 

I suppose I get sleeping around and random hook ups but to me the FWB should be completely different.

 

I thought FWB was set so that people had somewhat guaranteed sex without complications or a relationship. Like.... somebody has such a busy lifestyle and isn't interested in dating, so they settle or agree to FWB.

 

I don't get having an FWB and clearly accepting that each are dating or also out setting other "sex dates" with other FWB?

 

Can ya'll help me here?

 

Random hook ups are not FWB's, right?

[ImThatGirl]

He doesn't just want a sex toy. He wants someone to share in those "activities" with him. Which is why I am most reluctant to get involved. He wants to introduce me to his friends, but i backed off on that.

 

I probably can deal with FWB, but "swinging" where one shares partners with others, is something very hard for me to swallow.

 

I do wonder if I could just have an FWB with him and NOT get invovled in his lifestyle, but then I worry about diseases too, even with condoms.

 

Ren, I strongly believe that you would go banana's sleeping with someone and knowing they were sleeping with anyone else, much less several other people.

 

And also, I doubt you could set up just and FWB with him because he has stated very clearly he wants someone that will share in those activities. thereforee, if you refused to partake in those activities, someone else would be and you'd be having sex when it's convenient for him because he'd be working around those activities and the girl that was comfy with accepting those activities.

 

No?

[hers]

To me random hookups aren't the same as a fwb. A random hookup is random, a fwb is whwnever you're up for it, like you said when you don't want the pressures of dating. In my case my fwb now is just filler till I get another one or find a boyfriend. He knows that.

[ImThatGirl]

Still rubbing my head and thinking to myself....

 

I just can't see how anyone can openly sleep with someone knowing that any night that person may be sleeping with another - that most likely I'm "sharing" that person.

[midnightrambler]

Still rubbing my head and thinking to myself....

 

I just can't see how anyone can openly sleep with someone knowing that any night that person may be sleeping with another - that most likely I'm "sharing" that person.

 

i don't get this whole thread.....confusing

[McLovin oo7]

Still rubbing my head and thinking to myself....

 

I just can't see how anyone can openly sleep with someone knowing that any night that person may be sleeping with another - that most likely I'm "sharing" that person.

 

I wouldn't do it either but ITG, many would not consider that a deal breaker.

 

I have a cousin who slept with so many girls that he lost count. He never bothered about whether the girl is sleeping with someone else or not.

[renaissancewoman101]

Ren, I strongly believe that you would go banana's sleeping with someone and knowing they were sleeping with anyone else, much less several other people.

 

And also, I doubt you could set up just and FWB with him because he has stated very clearly he wants someone that will share in those activities. thereforee, if you refused to partake in those activities, someone else would be and you'd be having sex when it's convenient for him because he'd be working around those activities and the girl that was comfy with accepting those activities.

 

No?

 

Probably so. I'm not really sure. He did say that he would be up to weekly sex thing. I dunno.

 

ITG, you bring up such good points. In the deepest of things, I'm really not ready to have a FWB, I think. I had one a few years back and it really hurt me (even though we stayed friends). Unfortuanetly, the friendship eventually died out

 

I do have another prospect in mind from last year (I had a one time fling with someone), and he would be open to it, since he texts me every few months seeing if I want to get together, but he is very much AGAINST using condoms and I got scared enough back then to go and get tested (I'm clean, thank god), so I'm reluctant to get involved in that again.

[renaissancewoman101]

I think FWB really have no commitments to each other, even as having them as the single sexual partner. People do lie, and people who engage in FWB, a lot of times, they can lie.

[hers]

Yeah I guess I'm confusing everyone...maybe I should leave this thread, haha. It makes sense in my heaed but I may not be good at explaining it!

[ImThatGirl]

Probably so. I'm not really sure. He did say that he would be up to weekly sex thing. I dunno.

 

ITG, you bring up such good points. In the deepest of things, I'm really not ready to have a FWB, I think. I had one a few years back and it really hurt me (even though we stayed friends). Unfortuanetly, the friendship eventually died out

 

I do have another prospect in mind from last year (I had a one time fling with someone), and he would be open to it, since he texts me every few months seeing if I want to get together, but he is very much AGAINST using condoms and I got scared enough back then to go and get tested (I'm clean, thank god), so I'm reluctant to get involved in that again.

 

Don't do that either Ren. Ah.

 

I know that at the moment, I may be speaking and thinking logically instead of letting desires control the show, Ren. Sometimes that's no fun.

 

But- being healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically is very important. You know that. Sometimes we get to a point of being so vulnerable, lonely and desperately wishing for some type of human contact, etc. that we wipe these issues under the rug (the being healthy part,) and accept things that ultimately we wouldn't. And that we may regret at some point in our lives. Don't do that.

 

 

Edit: I'm not saying that FWB's can't be done in a somewhat healthy manner - if one on one was agreed upon, using condoms always, etc..... I am saying that when you have a big heart and want nothing more than to be paired up and in love, it may not work. And that a guy that is interested in the swinger lifestyle may not work because you would clearly be sharing him. And that a guy that refuses to use condoms isn't okay either.

[ImThatGirl]

Yeah I guess I'm confusing everyone...maybe I should leave this thread, haha. It makes sense in my heaed but I may not be good at explaining it!

 

 

Hey Girl! It's not that I'm trying to prove you wrong or anything and I hope you know that.

 

You are mentioning the way you handle things and that's cool if that works for you. I'm just making points that I think the OP should consider as well.

 

[hers]

Hey Girl! It's not that I'm trying to prove you wrong or anything and I hope you know that.

 

You are mentioning the way you handle things and that's cool if that works for you. I'm just making points that I think the OP should consider as well.

 

 

Oh I know!! Its no worries. I agree w/ you though that renny may not want to pursue a relationship like this. I just think I got confusing trying to answer questions you had!!

[livinginsbi]

FWB's can be a great thing... but you have to play by the rules or get hurt. I've had two successful ones, years ago, they served the purpose that was needed.

[ImThatGirl]

Oh I know!! Its no worries. I agree w/ you though that renny may not want to pursue a relationship like this. I just think I got confusing trying to answer questions you had!!

 

I was just curious and looking for clarification - thanks! I'm sorry if I was confusing!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

To have a set FWB. . . .. . One must be very strong, emotionally strong / stable, and with no wants of a serious relationship.

 

You want a serious relationship don't you Ren?

 

 

Actually, my personal opinion is that it has nothing to do with emotional strength and being strong and stable. Having an FWB is emotionless...emotions don't come into play at all so it does not test the emotional strength of the person nor their stability. The fact that someone can't live without sex for a period of time and needs the FWB or FB is actually not a show of strength at all...true strength is wanting something but holding out for quality...not just grabbing whatever comes along just to satisfy lust cravings.

[ImThatGirl]

Actually, my personal opinion is that it has nothing to do with emotional strength and being strong and stable. Having an FWB is emotionless...emotions don't come into play at all so it does not test the emotional strength of the person nor their stability. The fact that someone can't live without sex for a period of time and needs the FWB or FB is actually not a show of strength at all...true strength is wanting something but holding out for quality...not just grabbing whatever comes along just to satisfy lust cravings.

 

As always - great points!

[DaBladeRoden]

Then why do some guys want the "sex" part AND the friendship part as well. I've run into guys where they like the sex, but also like hanging out as friends in a limited sense.

 

 

That's pretty much how the case was with me. We were friends beforehand so I didn't see why sex had to ruin the still being friends part

[lady00]

That's pretty much how the case was with me. We were friends beforehand so I didn't see why sex had to ruin the still being friends part

 

Yeah, I think for some people FWBs are friends too. I think that if both people are comfortable with it, hanging out outside of the bedroom can definitely work.

[winter whiteout]

Actually, my personal opinion is that it has nothing to do with emotional strength and being strong and stable. Having an FWB is emotionless...emotions don't come into play at all so it does not test the emotional strength of the person nor their stability. The fact that someone can't live without sex for a period of time and needs the FWB or FB is actually not a show of strength at all...true strength is wanting something but holding out for quality...not just grabbing whatever comes along just to satisfy lust cravings.

 

 

I could not agree more. I was so struggling with this for so long but I know inside my heart I can never do a FWB and I am going to hold out for a real relationship and love before I have sex again. It has been over three years since I have had sex and I have posted so much in the past how frustrated I have been and unhappy but now I am starting to celebrate the fact I have not been with any man since my ex husband walked out on our marriage and now I can say I am glad I did not go out and have casual sex or try to find a FWB. I know someday when I meet the next man I will be in a real relationship with he will respect the fact I waited for him. This is who I really am. An old fashioned woman, but with the right man I will have hot, steamy mind blowing sex but also will be making love. I have grown up again and it was in the nick of time!

[Batya33]

I went to post and then saw that COD had already posted my very thoughts. I would never think that someone who was able to separate sex from emotions was "strong" much less "stronger" than me. Different, yes, but not stronger (and perhaps weaker in a way if the person specifically avoided emotional connection.)

[littlestar]

I've done FWB and the last time it turned out a disaster as he fell in love with me and i ended up with feelings for him as well. Everyone got hurt. I like the concept of FWB but i am not sure i would do it again.

[waveseer]

This is the way I am naturally and I have the same goal.

[renaissancewoman101]

Well, I've decided not to try and have a FWB with that swinger guy, mainly because I have such a fear of diseases and such. I dunno. I guess I'm just going to stay celibate for the time being. I still feel like calling on the guy from a year ago (who I had the fling with and who still occasionally texts me to see how I am and if I want to get together again). He was pretty good, but his reluctance to use condoms makes me scared. I ended up scaring myself so much that I went and got tested. (thank god I'm clean).

 

Back to the drawing board I guess.

[greywolf]

Well, I've decided not to try and have a FWB with that swinger guy, mainly because I have such a fear of diseases and such. I dunno. I guess I'm just going to stay celibate for the time being. I still feel like calling on the guy from a year ago (who I had the fling with and who still occasionally texts me to see how I am and if I want to get together again). He was pretty good, but his reluctance to use condoms makes me scared. I ended up scaring myself so much that I went and got tested. (thank god I'm clean).

 

Back to the drawing board I guess.

 

show him pictures of people with stds

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, I've decided not to try and have a FWB with that swinger guy, mainly because I have such a fear of diseases and such. I dunno. I guess I'm just going to stay celibate for the time being. I still feel like calling on the guy from a year ago (who I had the fling with and who still occasionally texts me to see how I am and if I want to get together again). He was pretty good, but his reluctance to use condoms makes me scared. I ended up scaring myself so much that I went and got tested. (thank god I'm clean).

 

Back to the drawing board I guess.

 

Then just look for a profile of a virgin guy that's looking to get deflowered by a random stranger and there will be no chances of catching STDs. That would be on craiglist, AFF, or a variety of other places.