He Cheats She dates

[satyrical]

So, I understand that what i am about to ask is morally wrong. But i am seeing a guy who has a girlfriend. (No sex involved) Yes this is a semi online relationship. The distance is the biggest problem which is why neither of us have really "taken the plunge". I do love him, but I don't want to put my life on hold forever so I thought, he has a girlfriend (a very complicated relationship)what is the harm in me dating someone else. This is an online relationship, in fact we have been friends for 6 years and just recently started gravitating to more. I trust that he has feelings for me because I have feelings for him but I just don't understand his reasoning for being so upset with me for going on a date. So without judging me or the situation, can anyone give me any insight into what he might be thinking or feeling? thanks.

[annie24]

i think he wants to have his cake and eat it too. so long as he is still with his gf, he has no right to be upset that you are still seeing other men. tell him if he wants to see you exclusively, then he needs to break up with his gf and commit to you. otherwise, you're going to keep seeing what else is out there.

[Lionel Hutz]

Id say go for it. Its actually the "right thing" to do. He could drop you like a cigarrette butt if the other girl found out. Besides, it sounds like he holds the power, two girls to himself while you wonder.

[laisla]

if he can cheat on his gf he has no right to stop you from cheating on him. question is, why be with him?

[Mavh25]

Id say go for it. Its actually the "right thing" to do. He could drop you like a cigarrette butt if the other girl found out. Besides, it sounds like he holds the power, two girls to himself while you wonder.

 

Exactly, if his gf found out he'd crap his pants and probably would'nt think twice about dropping you.

You're his excitement and his ego..

 

Don't get why you're messing with him when he's taken, and you already know what he's thinking.. he's jealous and thinking why the hell is her attention going to someone else.

[hmdreamer7]

Go ahead and ask him why he's upset - it could be several reasons. Maybe he's just being protective? Maybe he's completely jealous and doesn't want you to go out with anyone? But hey, it's your life, you can date whoever you want!

 

However, you do have to realize that, although he is semi-seeing you right now, he is still involved with another girl. So in a way, he's cheating on you AND her. Don't you want someone who will give 100% of himself to you, and not just part? If you really love him, you'll tell him how you really feel about him and not let any games be played.

[satyrical]

i don't know. I found myself suddenly in one of those situations where I became the type of girl I hate. I just fell for him and he is miles away I keep thinking if we lived closer to each other things would be different. And I am waiting to see if that is true. We are supposed to give it a go in a few months when I can get time off and we can be together. I keep thinking after that we will know for sure if our relationship is worth holding on to. And yet I keep postponing our seeing each other again. We were supposed to last month, i canceld and this month and i canceled...

[Lionel Hutz]

i don't know. I found myself suddenly in one of those situations where I became the type of girl I hate. I just fell for him and he is miles away I keep thinking if we lived closer to each other things would be different. And I am waiting to see if that is true. We are supposed to give it a go in a few months when I can get time off and we can be together. I keep thinking after that we will know for sure if our relationship is worth holding on to. And yet I keep postponing our seeing each other again. We were supposed to last month, i canceld and this month and i canceled...

 

Meanwhile hes telling another girl how much he loves her and wants to be with her. Sorry hun but you're dealing with a player, world class. Don't doubt yourself, go get someone whos available.

[annie24]

Meanwhile hes telling another girl how much he loves her and wants to be with her. Sorry hun but you're dealing with a player, world class. Don't doubt yourself, go get someone whos available.

 

yeah, i agree. if he's just with her because she's more convient, how can you ever trust HIM as a bf? what if you are out of town on business, or get relocated or whatever, how do you know he'd be faithful to you and not find someone who lives closer? heaven forbid a model move in the apartment next door!

[Mavh25]

i don't know. I found myself suddenly in one of those situations where I became the type of girl I hate. I just fell for him and he is miles away I keep thinking if we lived closer to each other things would be different. And I am waiting to see if that is true. We are supposed to give it a go in a few months when I can get time off and we can be together. I keep thinking after that we will know for sure if our relationship is worth holding on to. And yet I keep postponing our seeing each other again. We were supposed to last month, i canceld and this month and i canceled...

 

Aww, this post really made me feel for you.

If you genuinly believe there is something between you both, don't you think he would of dumped his girl by now? =( why does he need her still if he loves you?

 

Why do you think you're putting off meeting him? what are you scared of? have you met before?

[gee]

Don't ever try to date someone while they are in a relationship. It's not fair to his gf. He is cheating on her and he can do the same to you. Would you like it if your bf was expressing his love to another woman?

 

I agree with most saying, if he loves you why is he still with her? Observe his actions, because sometimes talk is cheap. Good luck!

 

gee

[satyrical]

He is 24 she is 40+ he has dated her for 7 years and they own a home together and she is the only girl he has been with. From what he told me, she is financially and emotionally stable (he can't afford the house with out her). I am not emotionally stable at all, he was my friend through my depressions, the good the bad and everything in between. He also knows the issues i have with men and the reasons why I freak out when i get too close to someone. i have gotten close to him and that never happened before. I don't want to see him because then everything will be "real" right now he can't hurt me as much as if we were together, and he was there to hold me, laugh with me. We have a sort of wall between us still that helps me keep my distance. I never wanted him to dump his girlfriend, I was the friend that always tried to keep them together and he yells at me when i do that now. I think I like him because first he was my friend, I trust him because I put him through a lot as a friend, and because he has a GF because it prevents me from being with him 100% and getting hurt. I think he is on some levels as afraid as I am.

[annie24]

i think you should date others and not date this guy. given the situation with the house and the ages, i think it's clear that he can't afford to leave her. should he ever break it off with her and move out, then you can date him. but i don't see an end in sight. he needs a sugar momma. and unless you have more money than this 40 year old does, i doubt he'll leave her for you. sorry if it's harsh, but it's my 2 cents.

[satyrical]

Don't be sorry, Thank you, be harsh if you have too I think I need to hear it so I can move on.

[girl68]

This is easy. He wants to have you all to himself. To him, he's not thinking about how YOU don't have HIM all to yourself. He's only thinking about himself. That's not hard to grasp is? it? He's a hypocrite! We all are at times, this is his.

 

I say you go on a date. But think about why you're going to date. If you love him why do you want to date? Because he's emotionally attached so it's all good for you? I don't get why you're "seeing" this online guy but still want to date- personally.

 

Also ask what about the dude you're dating? What if he really likes you? Then starts to think he's the only guy? Then what?

[HeartGoesOn]

I take it that you haven't met in person yet?