To call or not to call...

[LonelyJokko]

I've had this really nice thing happening to me today, believe it or not, at TGI Fridays: this really cute and kind waitress brings me my check with a little note saying "if you're in the area again, give me a call." Turns out I go to school there and as my nickname suggests, have been feeling pretty lonely for a little time now. But I'm so incredibly shy and insecure that I'm trying to come up with good excuses not to call her. And I'm just about to leave on saturday morning to go home for 3 weeks.

Should I call her? I also have no idea how old she might be, around 17-21 I would say and I'm 26, so I'm also a bit reluctant about that.

What do you all think?

Thanks for the help, the thinking is driving me nuts.

 

Jerome.

[Mutley]

You better call her.

 

Stuff like that doesn't happen very often.

 

ps hopefully she's 21

[LonelyJokko]

haha that's what I figured, even if I'm not native to the US I thought it was quite uncommon (and nice) for a girl to make the effort and have courage to give her number to a total stranger (I mean girls in France don't do that often either). I feel it would be almost rude of me not to call her but god knows how scared I am to do that... this is so ridiculous!

[Mutley]

Man, it's INCOMING....that's the best kind!!

 

She'll probably be thrilled to hear from you.

[brian123]

Call. Why not. What's the worst that could happen?

[HeartGoesOn]

She wouldn't have given you her number, if she didn't want you to call.

 

I say.."GO FOR IT"!!!

 

Good luck...

[LonelyJokko]

ok ok, let's stop acting like a kid who doesn't want to eat his veggies... I' am going to call her and ask her to have a drink. The next question is, since I'm unsure of her age, should I propose coffee or can I go ahead and invite her at a bar... A bar sounds like it would make a better impression (maybe that's stupid of me to think like that) but it's noisy, you can't really talk, and I'm not such a big fan of noisy crowded places, I would be afraid to give a "poor performance"... But with a coffee, I would be also afraid she thinks I treat her like a teenager... You must think I'm funny to be so worried about things like that, but I have left the dating scene a while ago, and usually the girls I ask out (which is not too often anyway) are girls I have at least a little knowledge about. I'm nervous but kinda excited about it actually...

[testcase]

Oh definitely go coffee. Who doesn't love coffee? Also glad your going for it some opportunities you just don't pass up.

[ghost69]

why wouldn't you call? well, i know to serve alcohol you have to be 19 here. no, not bartender, even a waitress.

[WizardofOz]

You should definitely call her. Ask her to coffee for the first date. Find out how old she is and go from there.

[knightNshiningarmor]

if ur shy then a younger gal is even better for ya.

[kaoticbaby]

if you are interested, i see no reason why you shouldn't. just because you're going away for a few week doesn't mean that you can't call her and chat. you'll be back eventually.

[LonelyJokko]

Wow, I'm kind of proud of myself. I just called her and we are going to have coffee tomorrow during her break from work. Thanks for your advices, this is nice

[kaoticbaby]

Wow, I'm kind of proud of myself. I just called her and we are going to have coffee tomorrow during her break from work. Thanks for your advices, this is nice

ooh, congrat!! doesnt it feel nice ??

good luck, let us know how it goes

[epsilon2x]

I've had this really nice thing happening to me today, believe it or not, at TGI Fridays: this really cute and kind waitress brings me my check with a little note saying "if you're in the area again, give me a call." Turns out I go to school there and as my nickname suggests, have been feeling pretty lonely for a little time now. But I'm so incredibly shy and insecure that I'm trying to come up with good excuses not to call her. And I'm just about to leave on saturday morning to go home for 3 weeks.

Should I call her? I also have no idea how old she might be, around 17-21 I would say and I'm 26, so I'm also a bit reluctant about that.

What do you all think?

Thanks for the help, the thinking is driving me nuts.

 

Jerome.

 

Just go for it man. It's not often that women drop that big of a hint without you doing anything.

 

I used to be a waiter. You have to be at least 18 to legally serve. She is definitely legal.

[ghost69]

success. CD should read this thread.

[Mutley]

Wow, I'm kind of proud of myself. I just called her and we are going to have coffee tomorrow during her break from work. Thanks for your advices, this is nice

 

I TOLD you, you had a live one!!!

[LonelyJokko]

success. CD should read this thread.

 

Thanks Ghost,

I hope you don't mind me asking but who's CD?

 

Anyhow, I should be getting a call from her soon. Will let you know how it went

[george237]

success. CD should read this thread.

 

He would chalk it up as a fluke because all the planets were aligned a certain way or something.

[ghost69]

Thanks Ghost,

I hope you don't mind me asking but who's CD?

 

Anyhow, I should be getting a call from her soon. Will let you know how it went

 

someone that does not heed advice much.

 

like george said, everything must be aligned properly for it to happen. he doesn't believe much in phone calling. but that is either here nor there. i hope you hear something.

[george237]

This kind of reminds me of office space.

[LonelyJokko]

Alright! Just got back from coffee, and I had a great time. Hopefully she did too Too bad she had to go back to work hehe. Anyways, it turns out she's 22 so that's a relief. And now I have had a bit more time to talk to her I am getting really interested in this girl. She is very sweet, smart, and funny. Seems almost too good to be true...

I would really really like seeing her again and she sounded interested in going out when I come back from my break (she asked me to call her but I am not sure how much she meant it, could it have been just a polite way to say "goodbye, I had a nice time too"?). Hopefully she won't have changed her mind in 3 weeks!

Anyways, I promise I'm not going to dwell about this during the whole holiday season (although I would be the kind of guy to do that... but I'm sick of worrying all the time!), and what really matters is that we both had a good time and it was a great opportunity to meet a very fine girl

 

Once again, thanks for your support everyone!

 

PS: grrr I'm afraid I may start worrying already! One thing: is it appropriate for me to text her sometimes this evening or tomorrow to let her know (again) that I had a good time and that I am looking forward to seeing her again in January, or am I risking to sound too clingy/pain in the ass kind of guy... ? I really would like not to screw this one up!

[boo121]

Hey Jokko,

 

Glad to hear you had a good time - you've both had one date, good start. Well done for manning up btw.

 

she's getting to know you, just as you are with her. Don't fall head over heals quite yet.

 

She is very sweet, smart, and funny. Seems almost too good to be true...

I would really really like seeing her again and she sounded interested in going out when I come back from my break (she asked me to call her but I am not sure how much she meant it, could it have been just a polite way to say "goodbye, I had a nice time too"?).

 

how could that be true? she asked you to call her, she wants to see you again, theres your evidence!

 

my advice, keep in contact with her, but not too much - you know how much is enough contact. And after the three weeks, set something up a bit more formal - meet up with her in the evening for a few hours and take it from there. I'd suggest bowling (stay away from cinemas, the idea is for you 2 to talk to each other!)

 

You've gotta move up a step each time - you had lunch with her in her break, great, now move it up a gear. She'll like the fact that you want to set a date / time and place in stone.

 

 

grrr I'm afraid I may start worrying already! One thing: is it appropriate for me to text her sometimes this evening or tomorrow to let her know (again) that I had a good time and that I am looking forward to seeing her again in January, or am I risking to sound too clingy/pain in the ass kind of guy... ? I really would like not to screw this one up!

 

don't worry about this stuff, everybody goes through it in the early stages - just keep on your track - keep in contact, and set up the date as i suggested above. and don't deviate from it! If she can't make it, you be the one to re-arrange for the 2 of you.

 

anyway best of luck,

[LonelyJokko]

Thanks for that nice post Boo!

 

It's always a bit difficult for me to know what to do and when to do it during the first dates. That said, I've grown up a bit since my last relationship and I think now it's time for me to change bad dating habits (such as being too pushy/contacting your date too often). So I will make sure she hears from me a couple times (at most) before I come back and I will take this time away to think about a nice second date. She did mention watching a movie together but I am wondering whether that would be a good move. And yeah I totally agree, movies (as in at a theater) are risky, but I also don't want to take her to a crowded place where I wouldn't be able to talk to her (b/c of noise or other dudes talking to her).

What do you think of her proposition to watch a movie at her or my place? Should we do something else first?

 

Once again, I can not say it enough, I greatly appreciate the support!

[brian123]

 

PS: grrr I'm afraid I may start worrying already! One thing: is it appropriate for me to text her sometimes this evening or tomorrow to let her know (again) that I had a good time and that I am looking forward to seeing her again in January, or am I risking to sound too clingy/pain in the ass kind of guy... ? I really would like not to screw this one up!

 

 

 

Don't tell her you had a good time. Don;t need say anything.

 

Id call her when you know when you want to set up the next date and that's it.