He just suddenly broke up with me...

[unwanted21]

I'm so devastated. I haven't stopped crying for 24 hours straight. Everything was just fine. Sure, there were the little tiny problems that come and go but things were FINE. Last night he picks me up to go see a movie. He's acting all distant and cold. I ask him if he's coming to my friend's party on Saturday, he says "no, it sounds lame". What? That's out of character from him.

 

We see the movie, and he's all cold. Then after the movie we're in his car and I ask him if there's something wrong and if he wants to talk about it. He says "yeah". Then he says that he doesn't think he can be in a serious relationship anymore and we need to take a step back. And I said "what do you mean? like back to dating?" and he's like "no, back to friendship" and I said "are you breaking up with me?" and hes like "no no, i just want to be friends".. WHAT? how does that even make sense? so i say "umm, that's breaking up!" by this point, im already breaking down in tears. Then he says that if he stays with me he'd be living a lie.

 

I just don't even know where this is all coming from. Everything was fine! Just last week he was being soo sweet to me. He went away for the weekend and we didnt see eachother for a couple days and all of a sudden he starts acting distant.

 

I asked him why he didnt tell me he was feeling this way before and he's like 'what am i supposed to say?". It made me so mad that he didn't communicate with me and instead just dropped a bomb on me out of nowhere. It was just the most shocking thing.

 

I was so upset, I was gonna get out of his car and find another ride home but he wouldn't let me so I told him to drop me off at my friend's house. The entire ride home I'm crying my eyes out, like just WHALING. And he doens't say anything. Then we get stopped behind a train and he starts texting.

 

I'm just in so much shock. I knew he had a hard time communicating and he had never been in a serious relationship before but I never expected this. We had talked about this at the beginning of the relationship and agreed that we would work at whatever obstacle came up and that he woudl tell me AS SOON as something was bothering him. I asked him if it's something I did wrong and he said no. It makes no sense. He told me I'm his world and I mean everything to him. I just dont understand.

 

I'm just so devastated

[redrose85]

He sounds extremely insensitive, and this will fall on deaf ears for now while you are getting over him, but you deserve better, and you deserve someone who will BEG to be with the fabulous person that you are!

[redhearts]

He probably cheated or has some other girl lined up.

[lila...]

I agree with redrose, he sounds very insensitive, and the way he dealt with it was pretty immature. It's immature and heartless to offer no explanations and to not talk about what went wrong when you're breaking up with someone. It's very recent so I'm pretty sure during the following days he may start talking and revealing more, but even so...I wouldn't go back to him. He sounds really cold and uncaring.

[lila...]

He probably cheated or has some other girl lined up.

 

Yeah the part that caught my eye was how everything was fine until he left for the weekend and then he came back changed. That sounds suspicious.

[unwanted21]

Yeah the part that caught my eye was how everything was fine until he left for the weekend and then he came back changed. That sounds suspicious.

 

I thought about that too but I honestly don't think that's the case. Well, I hope it's not, it already hurts enough just being dumped =/

[lila...]

I thought about that too but I honestly don't think that's the case. Well, I hope it's not, it already hurts enough just being dumped =/

 

If you don't mind me asking, where did he go? And how long was the relationship?

[redhearts]

HMM. Cheating?

 

But anywho how long were ya together?

[unwanted21]

He just went snowboarding with a few close friends. I dont think anything happened cause he texted me while he was there all the time and sent like sweet messages and stuff. We were together for a little over 4 months.

 

Just a couple days before the breakup I noticed he was being a bit distant but I just did not expect a breakup at all.

 

I really dont think he cheated, I mean, you know how girls just have that intuition or whatever? I just dont see him doing that.

 

The sad part is that I had to breakup with myself cause he couldnt bring himself to actually say it.

[redhearts]

When a guy acts distant its because he is guilty.

[unwanted21]

When a guy acts distant its because he is guilty.

 

Or cause he knew he was gonna break up with me?

 

 

Usually when he would do something wrong in the relationship he would smother me with affection cause he felt bad.

[lila...]

When a guy acts distant its because he is guilty.

 

not necessarily, there could be a variety of reasons as to why he wants to break up. That was my first thought as well, but the op said he went away with friends and kept in constant contact with her...so...it's a little hard to say. It's weird that everything was fine right until that weekend. Hopefully he'll open up and be honest with you cause it's very insensitive for him to keep you that way.

[unwanted21]

Though now I am sort of freaking out that he did cheat.

 

I guess it doesn't matter though. Either way, it's over.

[Raistlin]

When a guy acts distant its because he is guilty.

 

Not necessarily. I have a guilty conscious for no reason. I feel guilty for things that my friends have done while I wasn't present and found out about years later. Does that make sense? Not really, but I did become a bit more distant from the person it DID affect for a short while because of my shortcoming.

 

It's something I struggle with daily. I have to talk myself into posting on this forum every day because I find that I can express things I didn't know, and learn things I didn't expect. Should I feel guilty that I can post anonymously online, in a forum of strangers who are all seeking the same thing?

 

No.

 

But I do.

[koreangelxp]

i feel your pain... but at least he did it in person and not over the fone.

[unwanted21]

It hurts so much I feel so lonely.

[relm]

How old are you two and how long have you been dating? I disagree that just because he acts distant he has a guilty conscious. We dont know enough about either of you two or the relationship to make that conclusion. If you are both pretty young, it is possible he didn't know what he wanted in a gf yet and lacked the maturity to know how to say it. Either way, I'm sorry for what you are going through.

[loulee]

When a guy acts distant its because he is guilty.

 

Gosh redhearts you certainly call a spade a spade..Must confess my first thoughts were along the same line...I was also wondering if the boys weekend away has had an impact on him.has he been seeing much of his friends lately since he has been with you..I was wondering if perhaps the boys have hammered him about never being available now ....under the thumb blah blah as they often do...Are you sure there have been no earlier sings of his distance that you have been oblivious too or didnt want to see. This sudden change of heart in his feelings is strongly indicative of another interest...Im sorry your hurting so much...Its horrid not having answers and not much will make you feel better at this point.. Sit tight..dont contact him ...keep your dignity...Now is the time to test your strength...Just one day at a time......

[savignon]

I'm sorry you're suffering....it sucks getting such a cold explanation like that. This might not seem as 'out of the blue' as it feels. If you back and read what you've written about him/your relationship all along, it sounds like he's always been a cold, distant boyfriend. So things weren't really 'fine'..were they? Regardless, it hurts and it sucks...hope you feel better and realize you deserve more!!

[Rabican]

only 4 months, hes probably either not over his ex, or wants to be with someone else... either that or has some serious personal issues of his own. but if i had to guess Id say its another girl in one form or another.

[Kimber038]

I have been through this and trust me, he has another woman lined up or already has one. I am not trying to hurt you by this but I was blinded by love and did not want to see it and it just does not go away. You are better then that and deserve better then that. Take a deep breath and think. Why would he be so cold after a weekend of being away? Why would he be texting on his phone while u were in the car just after doing this? If things were going so well, the why did he do this? If he cant answer that, then he has something to hide. You say you dont think he is cheating but trust me, my intuitions were wrong in my past to so many times. But I got over it finally after a very long time of being blinded and trust me, you will too. good luck.

[lady00]

Maybe he decided he could not handle your being depressed (as per your other thread). Are you clinically depressed or were you just feeling down that day? If you were feeling down, how often did that happen...it might shed some light on why he decided to end things...that is, if you were feeling down too often all the time and he felt pressured to be the reason for your happiness. Anyway, not saying this is what happened. Just thinking out loud.