Bizarre contact from the ex

[Lissy]

OK, this is going to sound crazy, but I need to post it because I feel like sending him a scathing email. Quick backstory on my situation. A little over 4 months ago, I left my fiance after finding out he cheated on me. He is still supposedly seeing the woman he cheated with, but she lives in another state over 1000 miles away. I had his email password for awhile after the breakup and saw evidence that he was cheating on her too. But I haven't looked at anything of his in almost 2 months, so I had no idea if that was still going on.

 

Fast forward to tonight. He called me to talk about some business. We chatted for a bit and he told me he was coming to my city tonight. I know his boss lives over here, so I asked if that's where he was going. He said yes, they were having their company Christmas party tonight. No biggie.

 

A few minutes ago, my phone rang and I could see from the caller ID that it was him. I answered and didn't hear anything but muffled voices. I said "Hello?" a few times and then realized that he must have accidently dialed my number (being the last person he talked to, I assume). I listened for a bit and realized that he was NOT at a Christmas party. There were only 2 voices, his and a woman's. I couldn't make out what they were saying (I'm guessing the phone was in his pocket), but I did hear him tell his dog Abby to lay down at one point. Why would he take his dog to a company Christmas party? I quickly realized I was listening to a date!

 

Strangely enough, it didn't hurt as I would have thought it would. But it does make me angry. Every time I start to think that we might be able to be friends one day, I find out about another lie. It's so disappointing.

[george237]

Are you sure he didn't do it on purpose? Sounds a little bazzar.

[hmdreamer7]

Wow, that is strange! Just more evidence for you of his lying behavior, I guess.

 

I think you have a right to be angry, because his behavior towards you hasn't seemed to change since you two broke up. But, I wouldn't worry too much about the friendship thing, because if it happens between you to, then it happens. It just may take longer than you think.

[Lissy]

I don't think he did it on purpose because I sort of know the woman he cheated on me with. It's a little unique I guess - she wasn't my friend, but we are members of the same internet chat forum. So I doubt he would want me to know that he lied and was actually on a date because I could easily tell his new girlfriend if I wanted to.

 

I know it hasn't been long enough for me to even consider having a friendship with him. He hurt me very much and I don't know if it will ever be possible. But earlier this evening when we were talking, it felt like no time has passed, it was like how our conversations used to be. Easy and friendly. It made me start to believe that he might be finding his way back to the person I used to know. The honest and caring man I met 4 years ago, not the cheater and liar he became 4 months ago. Guess not. That makes me sad. And mad at myself for even starting to think like that.

[browneyedgirl36]

I don't think he did it on purpose; I think it was just an unfortunate coincidence. I've called my best friend by accident (from my purse!) and she calls me back and says "I just heard 10 minute of you walking on my voice mail!" She was the last person I had called everytime that happened. I also called my ex once -- I meant to turn my phone OFF before a meeting, and I accidentally hit the "call" button, and it called the last person who had texted me, which was him. Yikes! I hung up really fast. I have since taken him out of my phone book for exactly that reason!

 

Just ignore him if he keeps contacting you. Defintely cut him off, for now. I agree, you haven't had long enough healing time to be friends. I made the mistake of trying to be friends with my recent ex too soon. It has brought me a lot of heartache -- all totally unnecessary.

[JMichelle124]

Just remember the person you loved no longer exists, he is gone, and has been replaced. This helps me not have any sympathy for my ex, because every day I wavier... I think when we were good we were so good and now who is this disgusting person, I just want to remember th ebad so that I dont hold on to any of him.

[Nearwater]

Just remember the person you loved no longer exists, he is gone, and has been replaced. This helps me not have any sympathy for my ex, because every day I wavier... I think when we were good we were so good and now who is this disgusting person, I just want to remember th ebad so that I dont hold on to any of him.

 

This is an excellent point, I will forever try to think of my ex like this, it is how she deserves to be remembered.