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Wow. My boyfriend is sweet.


Rose21

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I just thought I'd share yesterday because it was sweet. Yesterday he came over to my house and we hung out for a while and then looked at shoes, then we got corner bakery and took it into the movie "The day the earth stood still" GREAT movie. After that, we went to Hollister and I found a sweater I liked on sale. As I was paying for it, I was talking to the sales girl and he says, "Babe, don't" Like he was telling me not to talk or something. Then I looked at him and said, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you." Of couse, I was being totaly sarcastic and even smiling when I said it. But apparently he didn't catch it because he stormed out of the store. After I paid I called him and askped where he was. I was worried he was so upset that he was going to leave me at the mall. He did the whole, "Im not upset, why wouldnt I be upset? You only told me to shut up and you wern't talking to me." and then I told him that I was being sarcastic and I thought he knew that, I apologized anyways. And he said he couldn't tell because he thought I was being totaly sincere.

 

As we were walking back to the car I asked if everything was okay, and he said it was. Then I said I was so upset because I was worried I had upset him and he was angry with me. Then he scopped me up to his arms into a bear hug and I cried a little bit (only a little, because knowbody was around. I wont cry in public places) and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me not to be upset, and then he apologized. He was angry with himself that he didn't catch onto my sarcasm.

 

Both of us are EXTREMLY sarcastic, but for some reason it's hard to tell when we are.

 

I then sat in the car with him and he asked for my hand and kissed it and held it the whole ride home.

 

When we were watching T.V. at his house, he kept asking why I was upset or depressed. I said there was nothing wrong, and he kept saying "Tell me tell me. Do you promise nothing is wrong? I want to know so I can know if there is something I can do"

 

I then later on admitted that my stomach was bothering me, and he was like "why didn't you tell me?" So he got me pepto and a granola bar and I felt fine and he cuddled with me the rest of the night.

 

Sorry, I just felt like sharing this. The little misunderstanding in the mall was my favorite.

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Sounds like you both are just a bit insecure around each other. He also need to stand up for himself more.

 

You also need to watch out with the sarcasm. Personally, I don't like sarcasm. I guess it depends on the situation, but your story is one of the main reasons why I don't like it. What you say can be interpreted very differently by someone else, and that person has no way to get inside your head in the moment and know you are joking. I understand why your boyfriend felt you were being rude. You basically told him to shut it, and what makes it worse is that you did it in front of someone else. He probably took it as you have no respect for him, and I would have taken it the same way. I wouldn't have stormed out of the store though, but I would have told you later on in private that you should not be talking to me like that ever.

 

I dated a girl who was VERY sarcastic last time around, and it did make some situations difficult. She was joking/being sarcastic/saying "mean" things, whatever you want to call it too much, and there were plenty of times when I felt like she didn't even like me. There's nothing wrong with some innocent joking, but too much is overboard. Just think about it plainly - would you want someone to tell you to shut up publicly like that?

 

The def of sarcasm -

Sarcasm is a form of speech or writing which is bitter or cutting, being intended to taunt its target.

 

Think if you like the idea of someone talking to you like that.

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You two are little drama queens. No pun intended.

 

LOL that is what i was thinking.

 

 

Rose, you both sound very insecure. The whole asking over and over what's wrong..he is doing that wtih you just like you do it with him. It sounds sweet on the one hand, on the other it is not good at all.

 

You should not need for him to ask five times what is wrong, and he should not be asking five times either. If you say no once, and then let's give him the benefiit of the doubt and say okay, even asking twice is fine...but if both times you say no he should move forward and not coddle you anymore by continuing to ask.

 

It sounded like coddling behavior to me. He coddled and conjoled you when you should have been a better communicator the first time he asked.

 

It is easy to misconstrue insecurity for love, but in this case both of the actions out of the two of you seem borne from insecurity. I am not saying you two are not in love, but examples like this are not what shows proof of that. NEither example were very adultlike exchanges.

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Hi Rose,

 

Even if your a sarcastic person it's not wise to embarrass your bf in front of other people (especially other girls). Men have pride and don't want to appear weak.

 

Remember treat others as you would want them to treat you. How would you feel if he said that to you in public? Joking is cool...I myself like to have fun, but make sure he knows it's in a fun way.....and if your going to tell him to shut up do it in the privacy of your bedroom/home.

 

Just some advice from a woman much older and wiser...wink!

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I'll do it during the honeymood phase but after that I'd pretty much need to be sedated or blackmailed.

Do girls REALLY want their b/f around when shopping - besides the ability to carry the bags, aren't we just a nusense?

 

honestly no, I don't want a boyfriend around while I'm shopping. I can't concentrate if I feel someone is rushing me or waiting on me. But when I shoe shop it could be an all day event, so any man willing to stick it out....wow.

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A woman I work with was introducing her new guy to people and when he responded to something someone else was saying she said to him, "Shut up....nobody was talking to you".....people are STILL talking about how rude and unkind that was even though we all know 'she's sarcastic'. It doesn't give people the license to be mean. You've got to treat him like the sweet, pepto/granola guy he is. Where you say "the misunderstanding at the mall was my favorite part" makes me think you might not get it just yet.

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Well yeah that's why I told him sorry.

 

I was just trying to make polite conversation with the girl and he was telling men not to.

 

We're not in the honeymoon phase anymore. We've been together a year.

 

And I realize the pride thing with men, I have ALOT of pride. More so then my boyfriend.

 

I wont refuse to break down and cry in public, only my boyfriend, closest family, and a few close friends have seen me cry. I don't like to be shown as weaker then a man, I've even resorted to being extremly cocky and when a guy goes "No I wont hit you, your a girl" I'll challenge him to a duel outside, and tell them not to hold back. I'm into wrestling, and a compeating shooter (guns) I like the power.

 

Haha what can I say.

 

Why do you say he should be mounted and stuffed in a museum?

 

He'll go shoe shopping with me, he works at a shoe store! I'm looking for boots, and unless he's with me I wont get the 30% off. He'll go clothes shopping with me if it's something quick and hold some of my bags, but he wont enjoy it. And that's oonly if my hands are totaly full with bags will he hold some.

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Well I said it and was sarcastic, but I didn't mean for it to come out that way. And I realized how it sounded after I said it and I was kind of like "Oh crap" And I was going to run after him, but I had to pay.

 

I only said it was my favorite part, because it was a misunderstanding and when we were nearly crying in eachother's arms, I found that extremly touching.

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Why do you say he should be mounted and stuffed in a museum?

 

 

Endangered species. Needs to be studied by science.

 

example: "when we were nearly crying in eachother's arms" and about 100 other things about him that you've said that that I can't be bothered to cut and paste.

 

ps; it's all good - I'm a little sarcastic myself heh heh

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I only said it was my favorite part, because it was a misunderstanding and when we were nearly crying in eachother's arms, I found that extremly touching.

 

you're crying into each other's arms for a little comment like that? how often do these things happen?

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It depends. He just doesn't like to see me upset or in pain.

 

It happens when he can tell I'm really upset or in pain. He wasn't crying, his eyes were just misty.

 

Now you know why I feel so lucky to have him!

 

He's very sensitive, sweet, and loving.

 

His personality is similar to my brother. But he's 13. When my brother gets to his age, he'll prob be just like him. A gentleman. My brother is VERY sensititive, and holds all of his emotions in just like my stepdad.

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Sweet, sensitive guys who show their emotions are a rare find! I think it's great that you were able to solve the misunderstanding and move on to a nice evening. I meant to say earlier that you 'don't get' how mean sarcasm can feel to the recipient...not that you don't get life or anything like that. Just wanted to clarify b/c I re-read my post and felt badly that it wasn't clear.

Sounds like he's a keeper! Good for you!

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We're not in the honeymoon phase anymore. We've been together a year.

 

 

The honeymoon phase can last up to 2 years I believe. It can last even longer in an ldr. In an ldr, everytime you see each other is a mini honeymoon.

 

And I realize the pride thing with men, I have ALOT of pride. More so then my boyfriend.

 

...I like the power.

 

I think you need to think about that for awhile. I've read your previous threads and you sound like a very controlling person. Needing to feel powerful comes from insecurity.

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Uh, I don't get why he would tell you not to talk to the girl?

 

And stormed out of the store because you jokingly told him to shut up?

 

And you cried because you were worried you made him angry?

 

And then he got tears in his eyes as well?

 

And then he kept asking you over and over again if something is wrong?

 

Hm.

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We're not extinct yet but we're getting there...in part it's how the world commands us to behave and in part it is the women that dictate that as well. I can start posting numerous thread on here where the "endangered species" is overlook and not wanted b/c they go for the aholes.

 

It's true a lot of females go for the a$$holes, but not every one does. There are plenty of genuine females out there that wants a genuine "nice" guy"

 

As for this thread. I would say it seems a little dramatised, and maybe you're both a bit insecure. But if you're both happy that is all that matters of course. It's brilliant to have a sensitive guy, but if there are a lot of these, um...let's call them "incidents" it's maybe a relationship built on not so solid ground.

 

I'm not trying to put a downer at all, and I do think he sounds like a sweet guy. I'm just saying, as Jaded said, sometimes drama/insecurity can feel like love, but it's usually an unhealthy love, so just be careful I guess.

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The honeymoon phase can last up to 2 years I believe. It can last even longer in an ldr. In an ldr, everytime you see each other is a mini honeymoon.

 

 

 

I think you need to think about that for awhile. I've read your previous threads and you sound like a very controlling person. Needing to feel powerful comes from insecurity.

 

I was going to comment on that. Just because it's been a 'year' doesn't mean all aspects of the honeymoon have disapeared, especially if you're in LDR.

 

I don't know, but if these were constant episodes occurring daily, I don't know how 'sweet' a person would be enduring the insecurities constantly. It's ok now because you have a limited time together, but if this was regular behavior in a real day to day relationship, something is going to crack.

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