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crazycatman

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At 22 I have dealt with alot of crap in my life. I have had people hurt me in many ways. Family members shedding life all too soon and just lots of abuse in all forms. I always thought that the one lady in my life would be in a constant! She was with me for 4 years and made me so freaking happy. We know everything there is too know about one another and that is something for me with my kind of closed up personality type.

 

Well she cheated on me with someone who she claimed for years was just a friend and nothing more. She told me that I was just too much of a sensitive person to her. Well she was the only person I could ever really let that stuff out around. Sure I have emotions! I do not want to bottle them up though. I just don't understand why she is leaving me for him. I don't even want to deal with people at this moment...I just want to be numb and not think about anything at all. But I know that is not possible. I know now more then ever I need to reach out for support and find friends. I really don't have any to tell you the truth. But I really want to change that. I want to help out others too. I need help dealing with this the right way.

 

Sorry for rambling. Not sure what else to say. I just need help.

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Welcome to ENA.

 

The worst feeling in life is to feel that you're alone. I know how hard that can be. You just have to meet new people & realize that life doesn't evolve around her or anyone that's ever hurt you. There are so many people out there who do care & who need a friend just as much as you do.

 

Have you tried signing up on social-networking sites such as Myspace or Facebook? You can sign up on Singles sites, too.

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I'm the exact same way, I don't connect readily with people so if I find someone I feel comfortable around, it is a huge deal to me.

 

Unfortunately, other people connect far more easily, and my ex-bf is one of those, and obviously did not value our connection like I did. I miss him everyday, but life goes on...

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Truth is, WOMEN like dogs and the good guys ALWAYS finish last..

 

So not true. Being hurt is not a reason to villify an entire gender...I will never understand why certain people act the way they do and make the decisions that they do, but it has nothing to do with generic stereotypes.

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Women like men to be men. There are certain characteristics that are sometimes associated with that - strong, independent, confident, etc...there characteristics that women have been conditioned to find attractive.

 

Independance and confidence are often in jerks...or "dogs"...so women can be drawn to them. But frankly, most romantic relationships we all have fail...until, hopefully, people find the "one" they're searching for if that's what they want. Everyone winds up being with someone that isn't right for them.

 

I think the problem is that nice guys believe it's because they aren't jerks that they don't do well with women. That's not it. It's that too many guys who consider themselves "nice" come accross as clingy, needy...they're trying to hard to be polite, considerate, and friendly. This can come accross as awkward...awkward equals nerves, and you're no longer projecting any confidence.

 

If you're already in a relationship with someone, and you get dumped...it's not really about being nice, it's again probably about being clingy. You lose your manhood to a certain extent. lol. There's a fine balance between putting the woman you love before everything else in your life, and being a push-over.

 

But it really shouldn't be all that difficult to be assertive, independent, and strong without being a jerk.

 

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